Review: Lia's Guide to Winning the Lottery by Keren David

I promise that I'll stop writing the summaries. I promise.

At the moment, Lia seems to be winning everything. The lottery, the love and affection of the boy whom she has been admiring for the past year and a half (for those of you waiting for the obligatory stalker joke, then I hope you are sad to be informed that I will not make it.). Indeed, life seems to be bowing down at her feet and just saying “Please take whatever you want, I’m yours.” It’s a more than welcome surprise to her previous shabby lifestyle, where scraping together ten pounds was a challenge. It would be something of an understatement to say that Lia is having a rather pleasant time of her newfound success – but underneath her feet lie not the floor, but the metaphorical hatred and anger embedded into her suburban lifestyle, the insecurities that one can find in pretty much any book directed at teenagers at the moment, and another tangle of subplots that I don’t much feel much like explaining.

It’s not very often that someone goes and writes a book about winning the lottery that people actually want to read. Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery is the exception to this rule; for, by the end of this review, people will want to read it. But they may want to beat Lia over the head with a brick and steal both her credit card and fancy shoes, but that’s merely a side effect of overdosing this book, which you will inevitably find yourself doing, because this book is utterly unputdownable; in the ‘oh it appears my eyes are glued to this book and I lack the will and the desire to do anything about it’ kind of way. You might be the type who seeks reasons and motives for these things, but I am fairly sure that I can silence you with the simple, powerful statement; this book was written by Keren David. Of When I was Joe fame, which happens to be one of my favourite books regarding crime, and one of my favourite books regarding characters under the name of Claire. Because of this, I hold her in very high regard – not just because she happened to write about a Claire who I took pleasure in hating. No, it was book her books are genuinely good, and Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery certainly doesn’t stand up on the table and attempt to refute that. No, it calmly retains its seat at the table and studiously devotes itself to making itself the best that it can be.

Lia herself is responsible for the narrative, which is probably why it sounds so natural – you don’t drown in elaborately planned metaphors, or words strung together with words longer than the average term of a carrot below soil (I challenge you to sit and watch these ginger vegetables grow. Sit and watch them, nourish them with rain water and your sanity at least once a day. They do love to take their time.). But it does sounds like something a real teenager would produce; the emotions and thoughts mirror that off a real teenager. By that, I mean to say that’s prone to being gushy and melodramatic, a state to which I am surprised to find as a teenage girl that I am supposed to relate, and then I am equally surprised when people call me gushy and melodramatic. (The romance is also gushy and melodramatic. But it flaunts it in the type of way that will hopefully inspire in the reader as it did in me “oh how nice for you no wait please take it elsewhere now” type of way.) It flows well, it’s gripping, and it’s realistic. The author manages to make Lia sounds like a regular teenage girl from a middle-class, suburban background, albeit with rather remarkable luck. Anyhow, before I go off on a tirade on the foul luck of people who don’t win the lottery, I will now describe this middle-class, suburban setting. It is something that the author excels at writing – honest, unsugarcoated, gritty settings filled with honest, unsugarcoated, gritty people. True to life. Like builders. Before they’ve showered and after their donut break. Expanding on this peculiar builder’s metaphor, that’s not to say that it’s all of heavy and depressing. Some pleasant things shine through the dismal perspiration of family drama and such that has built up on the builders back; such as the lottery, or aesthetic presumably supernatural love interests.

The characters aren’t particularly idealised, either. Well, perhaps with the exception of Raf, but that is thoroughly stripped down during the book. Speaking of this Raf, I found him to be quite a strange specimen. Recently, I’ve begun to adore his character type (the quiet, mysterious young man with a much louder and angsty past. And no, if one of you asks me whether I am referring to Edward Cullen, the answer is absolutely not. It would be awfully courteous of him to spend the rest of his unfortunately immortal life in a hole in the desert where I cannot hear about him, nor his past. He can’t hold a candle to poor not-so-little-anymore-but whatever Subaru’s angsty past.), especially when inserted into unlikely situations. Yet, for some reason beyond me, I wasn’t particularly fond of Raf. He had plenty of development, and legitimate reasons to mope around (which he revelled in), plus a genuine personality and ideals and other such things that make a human being. Like teeth, and tea. Lia, on the other hand, was exactly like her narrative. She changes over the course of the novel, develops into a better person; almost to the extent that it’s rather unrealistic. There were other characters, of many personalities and demographics. However some, despite the intriguing and realistic personalities they coveted, were marked with the stain of being created to make a point. Even so, they do it skilfully. Like a pirate directs someone off a plank. By pulling it out from under their feet it they refuse to jump. This is a phenomenon that needs no explanation.

Now that I think of it, Lia should have bought a boat with all her money. She should’ve then set sail for the seven seas, with her flag proclaiming a giant, over-priced high heel. She would shoot pennies from her incredibly expensive revolver; she would have a butler at her stern, serving her tea as she traversed the oceans. I mean to say, there are many subplots that tangled together in the currently fashionable style of making a point about something or other, and while they are provoke an interested response in readers, did sadly lack the subject matter of sailing ships on the seven seas. I suppose that could be counted as a flaw. This book, however, was enjoyable enough as to have its flaws evade me during and after I was reading it. If you’re looking for a legitimate flaw, I suppose it might be that the book tries a little too hard to make itself gritty and suburban, and that can feel rather overwhelming at times. Like the weather on the ship that Lia decided to forfeit buying, much to my chagrin.

Anyhow, Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery didn’t actually provide instructions to winning the lottery, unless you count buying a lottery ticket as instructions. If you do, then you might as well be reading The Idiot’s Guide to Winning the Lottery (For Idiots). Nonetheless, it still managed to be an enjoyable experience, twisting tropes that would’ve made other books trashy into something remotely classy. The characters, despite being much too serious about everything and anything, were still fun to read about. The concept, despite being the most improbable thing, still caught my attention. The setting, in all of its mundane glory, tried its damned hardest to keep my attention and succeeded. So, reader, while Lia might not be able to assist you in winning the lottery, it definitely will win your eternal love and affection. Or something.

★★★★