The Book Bug: Books For Teens and Tweens

Review: The Ruby in the Smoke by Phillip Pullman

2012-01-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

This one's a bit shorter than the rest ... I suppose the length of the paragraphs make up for that, ahahah. Sorry for walls of text - they are giants amongst their kin, reducing those puny fences to nothing but ants under their feet! ... I probably ought to get more sleep. :P

By the way, does anyone know if the TV Series thingy for this is any good? I hear it has Matt Smith (?) in it. /is immediatly intrigued.

Sally Lockhart is living quietly in London with her obnoxious cousin, after her father's tragic death at sea. But the peaceful, if hateful, existence is about to end. Sally's father left her a message, and deciphering it will lead her into a world of danger and excitement such as she's never known... (From Amazon.co.uk)

I hear that some thing’s are powered by diamonds. This book doesn’t explicitly feature diamonds, but it does feature other sparkly objects – for example, the plot ruby is quite prominent. However, since the plot ruby spends most of its time eluding capture, this book needs some other driving force to propel it towards the end. And those would be the characters! The characters in this were absolutely fantastic; the majority managed to be engaging and entertaining. Sally, despite being in possession of a personality that could be dropped off into one a soup pot without much afterwards notice, spent her time filling her head full of realistic ways to react, and her back full of spine. Mrs Holland was a villain that proved to be genuinely scary in her best moments and slightly offensive in her worst. Yet, she was driven and the logical reason behind her motives made her a convincing villain. Perhaps her role might have changed had she acquired a toothbrush and some glitter. Jim was by far my favourite character; he was ever so amusing and adorable and given the opportunity I would likely burst when talking about him, but I have other things that require my expertise at the moment, unfortunately. But something that impressed me was that he and Adelaide (who might have been important, but I can’t say that I cared much for her) actually acted like children. They didn’t drop overly clever lines about the social state, nor did they partake in heavy monologues about the state of our eternal souls or whatever. It was quite refreshing. A bit like Sushi after five years of eating nothing but Chinese food.

One such thing is the plot – a problem that those who primarily read action novels may find that the pace of which the action starts kicking the sky mimics that of a dying elephant, from an infected gunshot wound in its ear. It’s plodding, and when everything is revealed (conveniently, right at the end – the book works on the same basis as the secret service of rather lazy people; nothing is revealed until it is completely necessary), it naturally feels a little bit rushed, but it really is quite impressive when it finally throws down its deck. The action, when it finally realises that its purpose is not to sit and make profound comments about the weather, but to be exciting and engaging, does its job very well. That’s not to say that the rest of the book isn’t engaging – it reads a little bit like an old Sherlock Holmes novel. The atmosphere is spot on – when there are no chase scenes to be had, fear not, as there is plenty of opium and plenty of deductions and mystery to go around. The narrative flowed like the conversation between a group of friends who secretly harbour intense hatred for each other – very polite but just witty enough to keep blandness at bay.

It’s becoming increasingly clear that I have no large bones to pick with this book – the largest of which resides in your ear, and it regards the pacing. But otherwise, it was an enjoyable novel in vein of the sensational novels of the period in which it was set. The mystery was interesting, the plot despite having all the pace of a menopausal alpaca, did deliver some wonderful twists when it stopped pondering the state of its pension, and Jim just seems so huggable and cute! Ahem. Phillip Pullman is one of my favourite authors, so I was pretty much obliged to like this. (If I didn’t, then my heart would likely go to war with my brain and leave me a vegetable to be eaten by my organs or whatever.) I’m quite glad I did. I would recommend it for people who want some mindless, traditional mystery to get lost in for a while.

★★★★.5

Look, I'm alive.

2011-12-17T09:06:00.000-08:00

You ought to be more excited about that, you know. You know, all 122 of you (woop! 122 followers! Thank you all so much! It makes me feel like this blog is actually something impressive, rather than a bunch of haphazardly pieced together ramblings.), plus the silent anonymous viewers that I like to think read my blog. Well, everyone's pretty silent at the moment, actually ... Remember, people. Comments are love. ^^ What, you don't want my love? Buh-but-but I spellchecked it and everything!

Anyhow, this is just a little update post. I'm working on a couple of reviews - you know, like I normally do. With the pace of a dying turtle. Or perhaps the correct term would be the pace of an aging turtle. Anyhow, I'm working (well, contemplating. There is a difference, but for my sake, you will forget that it exists.) on some non-review posts. You know, for range. So yeah, look out for those.

I haven't really been doing much other than watching re-runs of Friends on TV and re-reading The Clockwork Angel/mentally preparing myself for The Clockwork Prince (one such preparation has been to stare at the back of the book for a couple of minutes each day, as I cannot face the guy on the cover. Not sure why. There is something in his eyes that intimidates me.). I like it more this time, but Tessa remains annoying and the state of her spine remains undecided. I like Jem way more, now, for some reasons. It's gotten to the point where I'm kind of stroking the pages where he speaks.

There are just somethings that you shouldn't admit, aren't there

Anyhow, I finally got round to reading Beautiful Creatures. There's lots of good stuff in there; I mean, not all of it is used in a particularly good way, and sometimes it feels like a lot of the stuff has just been dumped there without much consideration, but I like it so far - Lena and Ethan are pretty cool. I really like how the normal roles (the curious girl and the supernatural boy) have been reversed. (With the curious boy and the supernatural girl.) I also really like books set in the South, and you can beat a person to death with it, so that's always a plus. Oh, right. Here, have a space kitty!

This post is getting long, so I'll just end with a few links. Woop. I love links. And so should you. First, on the subject of link-age, I have actually started up another review blog, where I review manga and comics and thing. Don't worry, that's not why I've been neglecting you. Anyhow, that can be found here. I also have a tumblr, where I occasionally rave about whatever book I'm reading, but mostly just spam with pictures of fishes or manga or whatever. Here.

Review: Sweetly by Jackson Pearce

2011-12-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

I promise I'll stop writing the summaries soon. Things might become a little more sensical that way.

Gretchen and her brother, after having their sister stolen away by a vicious, hungry witch that they unwisely sought out in a dark forest several years previously, are not in the best of mental health. But since this book does not particularly target the issue of mental health, they are packed off onto a road trip with the vague destination of the ocean. However, not mental trauma but car troubles take them only as far as tiny, old-fashioned town, stuck behind the times by the barricade of trees which in turn hide many dangerous creatures, like racoons and rabbits and werewolves, or so I’m told. Stranded though they might be, they don’t seem to have any intention of leaving, drawn in not only by the delicious whiff but the kind and welcoming personality of Sophia Kelly, a lonely girl who runs a chocolatier. There might be a reason why she has so few friends, or it might be unfounded but I can assure that something is not entirely as it seems in this quant, back-water town. In retrospect, this town really needs a therapist.

The following statement may crumble with the weather of the coming years, but for now, I am fairly confident when I say that Jackson Pearce can make even the most mundane, the most despicable thing into something readable. Sweetly is a prime example of this; within it squirm a rather large amount of things that I would normally despise. Werewolves, angsty love interests, contrived expositions of a spiritual nature, small dead end towns full of whiny bigots, coconut flavoured sweets, and other things of that nature. In Sweetly, werewolves threw their fake-tan out of the window and reverted to their ‘eat all the pretty ladies’ scheme (as opposed to the plan where they romance the pretty ladies), the angsty love interest actually had a reason so angst, and never uttered the dreaded phrase “because I don’t want to hurt you” in relation to any supernatural/psychological issues, the small town, oh, who am I kidding, I adore small towns full of whiny bigots and while coconut flavoured sweets still curdle on my tongue in real life, any sweets in the novel smell like words and words, I can tell you with a straight face, are delicious. Anyhow, Pearce manages to twist my perceptions of these components, by bending these concepts into something refreshing. Even the romance, which decided to travel along a route that many of its ancestor novels had previously trod, managed to feel much less fatigue-inducing or predictable than many of those aforementioned novels. In addition to that, it managed to squeeze an awww out of my dusty, frozen vocal chords, as opposed to the much more frequent threats of death by chainsaw that I offer to its less successful brethren.

A very significant part of the story is the setting. Oh, the setting – some books use it as nothing more than feet support or something to throw their rubbish at. That is not only very rude, but it is quite lazy; not only on the authors part, but on the characters part as well. It wouldn’t kill them to go find a rubbish bin. But Sweetly does not indulge in any of these horrors. It establishes it’s setting, and then proceeds to flaunt it to every advantage until the end, where the powers that be decided that the beach would be a far more fashionable accessory, and packed off our characters into a car to search out the ocean. I suppose you might say that the treatment of the setting is a bit like the treatment of a baby born to rich parents. Ahem. Other than doing a wonderful job of supporting the book, I think it was interesting how the archetypal small town in the middle of nowhere setting was utilised. The majority of the time, the characters are trying to escape, to distance themselves from these apparently soul-sucking locations (although I do hope I’m not the first to realise they spend more time moaning about this than taking the initiative to stow away on some boat to the nearest port city.). Sweetly is an exception to this tradition, which resulted in mentors and companions booting the poor book off of their pathway and into the dark and presumably terrifying forest, infested with such scary creatures as racoons, and small rodents. I mean, the characters in Sweetly feel drawn to this small town full of whiny bigots, and want to stay there. What I appreciated about this the most, I am rather ashamed to admit, was not the change of pace, but the lack of whining.

Of course, if I do not mention the narrative, then the racoons, small rodents and other small creatures that strike fear into people’s hearts will be sent after me. The narrative was fantastic. It read like something that would come out of a teenager’s mouth, but without the profanity or innuendos. While I was disappointingly starved of the latter, I was compensated with the emotional content and the way the action was conveyed. Speaking of action, which my insane troll logic links with the plot, which in turn decided to build up its mysteries slowly, and then landed the relevant twist on us with the fury of a thousand suns. There really were some pretty impressive twists buried in this book – but that is not quite as impressive as the amount of things that the author manages to tangle into the plot. If you haven’t grasped already, a massive range of concepts and techniques are drafted into the story. What’s more is that the majority of it all fitted in – with the exception of the exposition regarding souls, which might as well have been lifted directly from a CLAMP manga, because it was genuinely convoluted and weird. But in an entertaining, all part of the charm, type way.

Gretchen proves herself to be a much different character than the one we assume she is during our initial inspection of her. (Actually, this is a phenomenon that applies to the majority of the characters; the ones we classify as benevolent take these expectations and smash them with cricket bats.) Unlike the rest of her bookworm-y stereotype-y kin, Gretchen was motivated. She wanted to become stronger, so she went and sought out the best looking guns expert within the 200 mile radius. She was strong, albeit in a much different way to some of the more mainstream YA heroines. She isn’t cold, nor distant, like Katniss – she genuinely has a fun, relatable personality. She feels real, and thus believes she is licensed to mope around for a mind blowing amount of time. Samuel, on the other hand, was the type of specimen that somehow manages to squirm under the microscope even after they’ve been repeatedly threatened and then zapped with a large amount of electricity. With that incredibly messy metaphors meant that he had a personality that I would normally abhor, especially in the position that he was in. Yet somehow, he managed to grow on me. He didn’t have quite as much depth as Gretchen, but the words that came out of his mouth amused me nonetheless. I found his backstory, soppy and clichéd though it was, was still interesting to read about. On a note that bodes perhaps even more strangely, I actually enjoyed his romance with Gretchen. You know, in the same way that people enjoy the plots of most Disney films. Obtusely. But in the best way possible.

Ansel carried just as much of a chip on his shoulder as his sister did, was fed just as much chocolate and developed equally. He had a clearly defined personality, and unfortunately, it was that personality that left a sour taste in my mouth. It wasn’t that he was malicious or smelt odd or anything – quite the opposite, in fact. He was much too kind and clean-cut. He wasn’t ridiculously pure and kind hearted, yet neither was he violent nor suave. He just seemed bland, shaky to me. Sophia, on the other hand, possessed no particularly flamboyant character traits, yet somehow managed to stick out like a sore thumb. She appeared to be fairly normal, chirpy and cheerful, perhaps a hidden mental disorder or two, and then she starts feeding people to werewolves. Not spontaneously, I’ll have you understand, she had her reasons – deranged though the might be, they still managed to have some form of emotional impact. And while I’m probably contradicting myself, my inner hopeless romantic will testify that my heart isn’t entirely cold. Anyhow, while Sophia reeked off ulterior motives, I never expected her to go as far as she did. Yet, it didn’t feel ridiculous, nor overly extreme when she did, as the novel built it up so well, and it fit with her personality. It was understandable, if, you know, shrill, demented, and really stupid.

Yet, something that wasn’t quite as well built up. That, for those of you who might be curious, was the relationship between Ansel and Sophia. For something so small and mostly trivial, it’s ironic that it’s the thing that irritated me the most about this book. Why it annoyed me so, I have no other reason than “damn you people who love without entertaining angst neither independently nor direct at each other to read about”. Needless to say, I’m quite confused too. But apparently my curse had some effect because the people who seemed the most upbeat suffered the most in the long run. I suppose this must be a signal from my latent psychic abilities. I should probably correspond with those soon. Anyhow, on the front that devotes it’s time to pursuing genuine issues seems to have become obsessed with the rather bizarre concept of souls in the story, which seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and while it did hold some relevance to the plot (it flaunted it, in fact. It was a bit like the setting, although in a more “look at this expensive new gadget” type way.), it didn’t really fit in with the rest of the story. Other than that, there weren’t any glaring flaws, other than the actual story takes a while to realise the direction it’s going, instead of just pouring in copious amounts of foreshadowing into the story. This is did occur, but it is not advised – plots often become rather giddy when exposed to large amounts of foreshadowing.

Now, you are probably thinking is where I declare a conclusion and tell you to read this book unless you wish to become Darkling food. No, here is where you will find a spontaneous musical number. That musical number endorses this book greatly, and recommends it to an elevated degree. It’s thoroughly enjoyable, and different from most of the paranormal romances being injected into society at the moment. Plus, the cover is gorgeous, and features both shiny things and a scary face, so it can also be used to ward off pigeons and small rodents from your crop. The content might as well – after reading a particularly memorable werewolf chase scene, I won’t be going near any woods if I can help it.

★★★★.5

Review: Velvet by Mary Hooper

2011-11-19T06:48:00.000-08:00

It's here. IT'S FINALLY FINISHED. IT PROBABLY CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Velvet is a laundress in a Victorian steam laundry. With both her mother and father dead, she is an orphan and has to rely upon her own wits to make a living. The laundry's work is back-breaking and Velvet is desperate to create a better life for herself. Then Velvet is noticed by Madame Savoya, a famed medium, who asks Velvet to come to work for her. Velvet is dazzled at first by the young yet beautifully dressed and bejewelled Madame. But soon Velvet realises that Madame Savoya is not all that she says she is, and Velvet's very life is in danger ... (I did not write this summary, as Amazon.co.uk did. Thus, I am not affliated with it by any stretch of the imagination.)

Since you were very recently subjected to my love of historical fiction, I shall forfeit that disclaimer and replace it with yet another. Since Mary Hooper is one my favourite authors in the history of the entire authordom, this review will likely be fall victim to some serious bias. And by that, I mean the variety of bias that prevents criminals from going to prison because the judge admired the particular pattern of their tie in the courtroom. That’s not to say that I will be completely blind to its flaws, but they might be obscured by the massive amounts of fangirly energy that I will need to release in this review. Anyhow, Fallen Grace recently pranced in and declared itself my favourite Mary Hooper book, and is currently defending that position with a combination of throwing knives and sarcastic remarks. Velvet, in turn, seemed a bit intimidated by the others efforts, and sadly did not quite live up to Grace’s spectacular spectacularness, but that’s not to say that it didn’t try its best.

For example, one thing that Grace considered to a worthy opponent was the ending. Although I have not a drop of long-sighted blood in my veins, which makes this argument teeter of the edge of the cliff of redundancy, but whatever. I literally did not see that twist at the end coming. While certain characters set of an alarm that wiggles at the back of your mind for a while, they don’t pose themselves as an immediate threat. Until the end of the book, wherein they reveal their true alliances and act on all of the dark intentions that they must be hiding in their large Edwardian shoulder pads. Shoulder pads were a mistake of the 1900s, correct? I must be correct. These characters have no other place for secret and evil plan storage on their bodies. That’s not to say that their intentions and their actions were evil for the sake of being evil; no, these people whose names shall not be mentioned for fear of the spoiler monster climbing out of its box and eating me, were not inspired to attempt to drown our heroine for the sake of being evil, nor because she was slightly irritating. Now that one thinks of it, their actions were what any slightly desperate person would have done in their situation. It was quite the realistic approach, as opposed to the more idealised ending of the protagonist and the character with evil intentions running off into the lawful sunset with the prospects of lavish, lawful marriage. Needless to say, this ending only exists in the minds of hopeless romantics.

Indeed, Fallen Grace might envy Velvet for its incredibly realistic, dark approach on its setting, its plot, and the influence it has on its characters. You can tell that everything has been meticulously researched, for things such as steam laundries, baby farms and other obscure items that the author decided to convert into plot devices appeared, explained their purpose, and left with a round of applause following their footsteps. Yet, despite all of this hard labour, baby labour and other more ominous things, the book never feels weighed down under the dark and dismal atmosphere that the book covers itself with. All of the settings are used to their best advantage – they do more than act as a non-descript object for the characters to stand on. These ones get tipped. The setting maybe gritty at times, but there will likely to be solace in Darkling Villa, which I find amusing purely for the reason that it is called Darkling Villa. It’s not a pessimistic book; it never loads all of its troubles onto you. Fallen Grace might envy that as well, considering it began with its dingy setting collapsing on top of the characters when they were in the depth of despair. And then it lashed out at the people who tried to help. Some books have absolutely no manners these days.

However, the book’s greatest flaw lies in its most polite being, its main character. Velvet, wherever she goes, spreads a strange sense of déjà vu wherever she goes. Velvet is rather detached and independent, innocent and completely impressionable. This makes her appeal to the reader as being somewhat bland. She could slip into the role of any Mary Hooper character, and no one would notice the difference. While it would make her an ideal, undefeated bank robber, it doesn’t make her a terribly interesting protagonist to follow round such a promising setting. She is frustratingly normal, irritatingly unquestioning for most of the book, and when she does discover that dearly neglected thing in her back called a spine, she’s forced into the live that she was attempting to avoid! You do not wish to be a housewife for a man that you have just decided that you like, dearie. Speaking of which, the ‘romance’ that supposedly developed between Velvet and this man who shall not be named, during the few scenes that they had together, seemed to come out of nowhere. Man, I hate romances that don’t at least send a calling card. That’s what the polite ones would do.

The writing mimicked that of novel written in the time period, with polite, aesthetic but somewhat plain narrative, snappy, period-appropriate dialogue that reflects the characters that it’s coming from. Speaking of which, I personally think George, Madame’s unnecessarily italisised butler type person had the most depth, considering his role in the ending. For the majority of the novel, he seems to be pleasant, in a bland sort of way. It’s only when the laquer starts chipping away, when his past starts digging it’s way out from underneath the skeletons in the cupboard (with some assistance from a policeman with a shovel, of course. These things are essential for solving any mysteries. They are like the man with the mustache. They are like Arthur Conan Doyle, who, coincidentally, appeared at one point. It, I feel inclined to inform you that his appearance, Watson, was quite elementary.), that his character really starts to develop beyond ‘that handsome love interests of Velvets’. He actually became more likeable, in my eyes, after he revealed his darker side. And if you think this is because his darker side seemed to particularly harm Violet, then I am thoroughly irked, and you might be thorougly correct. Madame, on the same note, was also an interesting character. It was fairly obvious that she was orchestrating something great to fall in her favour; but there was nothing particularly malicious about her. I liked her, but she’s such an enigma for me. She didn’t really develop other the story, and when one considers the revelation at the end, her kindly personality fails to make sense. It is vague. It is almost as vague as this explanation. As you can imagine, that is quite a feat.

Not all of the characters were tremendously fleshed out. Some hung around and were thoroughly ignored until it was there turn to do something that contributed to the plot. Those who could not provide anything or import would be shunned forever. Luckily enough for them, the plot favoured whatever Charlie and Lizzie had to offer, but didn’t grace the pair with much development, or a terribly large word-count. I suppose this is why Charlie and Velvet’s relationship seemed a bit out of the blue; if you have no time to build something up, then why bother? Seemed to be law that the book used to govern its existence. Lizzie and Charlie suffered the worst damage of this, being little more than solid stereotypes on stilts, occasionally popping in to run and errand or relay messages from the plot, which, I should mention while I’m in the midst of my rant, took long, infrequent periods to relax or go to Malta or do whatever it is that plots do while they aren’t doing their jobs. This might account for the books slightly slow start and time between the revelations that the plot spat out as it rushed back to the office. Not that this is a problem, of course; every second excitement is overrated.

The two final things I have to state in this review are not related if one looks at them in a way that is both prosaic and sensible, but both involve the exchange of polite greetings. Yes, the way spiritualism and romance are portrayed in the book. The spiritualism, compared to the other books that the genre seems to be mass-producing about spiritualists at the moment, were portrayed in a fairly mundane way. What was perhaps more interesting were the methods that the spiritualists in the novel used to make their work totally convincing to the customers who were totally convinced. I’m not sure whether this can be attributed to the lack of education at the time, or perhaps because they were so invested in making their work believable that they went as far as to steal a baby. I do hope you read that with a straight face. The romance, however, didn’t make it as far as babies. Like the majority of things in this book, it was used as a ploy to make the ending seem more impressive. And to make George seem like horrible person, what with his eager lips and molester-y fingers and all. Either way, it succeed.

In conclusion, Velvet was good. Velvet excelled at what it did, and did not attempt to be anything more than it was. What it was, for those numerous skim-readers, was an interesting insight into spiritualism, the social climate of the time, and it featured a cameo by Arthur Conan Doyle. If this is not a reason to read something, a justification to rush out to the shops and buy this immediately, a solution to all of your historically-relevant questions. If one does not consider it to be all of these things, well, then the ghost of Sherlock Holmes looks down on you with distaste. There might be distinct hatred in his eyes. You wouldn’t want that, would you? The only thing worse than that would probably having to live in Darkling Villa, sitting under the shadow of the thing you failed to do (such as buying this book) and several hungry Darklings. If one wishes to avoid such a fate, then one really ought to buy this book. One might enjoy it, for I certainly did. It might not be the best thing that Mary Hooper has popped out in recent years, but it tries its best.

Thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★

Review: Lia's Guide to Winning the Lottery by Keren David

2011-11-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

I promise that I'll stop writing the summaries. I promise.

At the moment, Lia seems to be winning everything. The lottery, the love and affection of the boy whom she has been admiring for the past year and a half (for those of you waiting for the obligatory stalker joke, then I hope you are sad to be informed that I will not make it.). Indeed, life seems to be bowing down at her feet and just saying “Please take whatever you want, I’m yours.” It’s a more than welcome surprise to her previous shabby lifestyle, where scraping together ten pounds was a challenge. It would be something of an understatement to say that Lia is having a rather pleasant time of her newfound success – but underneath her feet lie not the floor, but the metaphorical hatred and anger embedded into her suburban lifestyle, the insecurities that one can find in pretty much any book directed at teenagers at the moment, and another tangle of subplots that I don’t much feel much like explaining.

It’s not very often that someone goes and writes a book about winning the lottery that people actually want to read. Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery is the exception to this rule; for, by the end of this review, people will want to read it. But they may want to beat Lia over the head with a brick and steal both her credit card and fancy shoes, but that’s merely a side effect of overdosing this book, which you will inevitably find yourself doing, because this book is utterly unputdownable; in the ‘oh it appears my eyes are glued to this book and I lack the will and the desire to do anything about it’ kind of way. You might be the type who seeks reasons and motives for these things, but I am fairly sure that I can silence you with the simple, powerful statement; this book was written by Keren David. Of When I was Joe fame, which happens to be one of my favourite books regarding crime, and one of my favourite books regarding characters under the name of Claire. Because of this, I hold her in very high regard – not just because she happened to write about a Claire who I took pleasure in hating. No, it was book her books are genuinely good, and Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery certainly doesn’t stand up on the table and attempt to refute that. No, it calmly retains its seat at the table and studiously devotes itself to making itself the best that it can be.

Lia herself is responsible for the narrative, which is probably why it sounds so natural – you don’t drown in elaborately planned metaphors, or words strung together with words longer than the average term of a carrot below soil (I challenge you to sit and watch these ginger vegetables grow. Sit and watch them, nourish them with rain water and your sanity at least once a day. They do love to take their time.). But it does sounds like something a real teenager would produce; the emotions and thoughts mirror that off a real teenager. By that, I mean to say that’s prone to being gushy and melodramatic, a state to which I am surprised to find as a teenage girl that I am supposed to relate, and then I am equally surprised when people call me gushy and melodramatic. (The romance is also gushy and melodramatic. But it flaunts it in the type of way that will hopefully inspire in the reader as it did in me “oh how nice for you no wait please take it elsewhere now” type of way.) It flows well, it’s gripping, and it’s realistic. The author manages to make Lia sounds like a regular teenage girl from a middle-class, suburban background, albeit with rather remarkable luck. Anyhow, before I go off on a tirade on the foul luck of people who don’t win the lottery, I will now describe this middle-class, suburban setting. It is something that the author excels at writing – honest, unsugarcoated, gritty settings filled with honest, unsugarcoated, gritty people. True to life. Like builders. Before they’ve showered and after their donut break. Expanding on this peculiar builder’s metaphor, that’s not to say that it’s all of heavy and depressing. Some pleasant things shine through the dismal perspiration of family drama and such that has built up on the builders back; such as the lottery, or aesthetic presumably supernatural love interests.

The characters aren’t particularly idealised, either. Well, perhaps with the exception of Raf, but that is thoroughly stripped down during the book. Speaking of this Raf, I found him to be quite a strange specimen. Recently, I’ve begun to adore his character type (the quiet, mysterious young man with a much louder and angsty past. And no, if one of you asks me whether I am referring to Edward Cullen, the answer is absolutely not. It would be awfully courteous of him to spend the rest of his unfortunately immortal life in a hole in the desert where I cannot hear about him, nor his past. He can’t hold a candle to poor not-so-little-anymore-but whatever Subaru’s angsty past.), especially when inserted into unlikely situations. Yet, for some reason beyond me, I wasn’t particularly fond of Raf. He had plenty of development, and legitimate reasons to mope around (which he revelled in), plus a genuine personality and ideals and other such things that make a human being. Like teeth, and tea. Lia, on the other hand, was exactly like her narrative. She changes over the course of the novel, develops into a better person; almost to the extent that it’s rather unrealistic. There were other characters, of many personalities and demographics. However some, despite the intriguing and realistic personalities they coveted, were marked with the stain of being created to make a point. Even so, they do it skilfully. Like a pirate directs someone off a plank. By pulling it out from under their feet it they refuse to jump. This is a phenomenon that needs no explanation.

Now that I think of it, Lia should have bought a boat with all her money. She should’ve then set sail for the seven seas, with her flag proclaiming a giant, over-priced high heel. She would shoot pennies from her incredibly expensive revolver; she would have a butler at her stern, serving her tea as she traversed the oceans. I mean to say, there are many subplots that tangled together in the currently fashionable style of making a point about something or other, and while they are provoke an interested response in readers, did sadly lack the subject matter of sailing ships on the seven seas. I suppose that could be counted as a flaw. This book, however, was enjoyable enough as to have its flaws evade me during and after I was reading it. If you’re looking for a legitimate flaw, I suppose it might be that the book tries a little too hard to make itself gritty and suburban, and that can feel rather overwhelming at times. Like the weather on the ship that Lia decided to forfeit buying, much to my chagrin.

Anyhow, Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery didn’t actually provide instructions to winning the lottery, unless you count buying a lottery ticket as instructions. If you do, then you might as well be reading The Idiot’s Guide to Winning the Lottery (For Idiots). Nonetheless, it still managed to be an enjoyable experience, twisting tropes that would’ve made other books trashy into something remotely classy. The characters, despite being much too serious about everything and anything, were still fun to read about. The concept, despite being the most improbable thing, still caught my attention. The setting, in all of its mundane glory, tried its damned hardest to keep my attention and succeeded. So, reader, while Lia might not be able to assist you in winning the lottery, it definitely will win your eternal love and affection. Or something.

★★★★

Review; Scarlett Fever by Maureen Johnson

2011-11-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

I had the mad idea to write my own summary this time. My goal was to inform you of the book, but make sure you came out of the experience completely uninformed.

Scarlett Fever, like its predecessor, follows the strange daily escapades of Scarlett Martin, daughter of a crumbling hotel somewhere in New York, employer of an unconventional acting agency and possibly the most normal person in this mess. Of course, the hotel didn’t actually give birth to her (her mother was responsible for that), she’s actually in the employ of one Mrs. Amberson (although whether she is actually married or not is a subject of debate), and to say she’s normal seems to be a bit of an overstatement (indeed, she seems constantly spaced out.). That’s not to say that she doesn’t participate in normal activities occasionally; in the previous book, she was left by her irritating southern boyfriend, in this book, he returns, with a vengeance and a flood of iced tea from the South. Oh! And since relationships that savour of triangles have been the acceptable thing since the stone ages, it’s only natural that a second guy was introduced, unfortunately, the forces at work did not anticipate that Scarlett would find their handsome bad boy detestable. Also, Spencer killed someone fictional and now the world hates him. No, sadly, it isn’t Edward Cullen, although he does deserve to be staked sometime soon. I do hope his fangirls didn’t catch that.

Suite Scarlett, like its predecessor, is sweet and charming. It’s funny and peculiar; it’s gripping despite having no real conflict. Maureen Johnson’s writing is witty, and it flows like the soul of a passed on fish through the River Styx, succeeding in avoiding collision with the debris that the other dead things had thrown into the river. Which means that yes, the fish is dead, which is rather depressing, but the book flowed well, which should appease you enough to forget about the dearly departed fish. Also, have I mentioned that this book is funny? Funny in the Maureen Johnson several mad people trapped in a box with one cup of lukewarm tea and a polka dotted sock way. Which means really funny. The setting, while not a particularly unique as settings go (if you fail to pull up at least one example of New York being used a centre of creative energy in books, movies and other such things, then you might as well be dead. The rest of the world certainly considers you to be so.), does very well to support the novel in all of its endeavours. And on a contradictory note, what other madcap YA comedy/romance/type thing takes place in a crumbling twenties hotel? If you cannot pull up one instance, then I like you. The people who can present me with one more example, you are the scum of the earth.

This book’s joy lies in its characters. That’s not to say that this book would be about as fun as being spat out the back end of a whale without them, but yes, it might resemble and experience like that. Scarlett proves to be an interesting character, if only through her dialogue. However, sometimes she feels rather bland – since we are not privy to most of her thoughts, she comes across as being rather … distant. Maybe third person wasn’t exactly the best format for this book. Spencer, on the other hand, is a force that not even the rabid fangirls themselves can subdue. He’s so flamboyant and amusing, yet he’s not so idealised that he doesn’t do the realistic thing. Like get terribly moody and angsty in times of great stress, because he does that, he exceeds at that, and he uses it to his advantage. Mrs. Amberson, on the other hand, is portrayed as being perpetually positive, generally eccentric and mostly fabulous. Well, Scarlett considers her to be something of a sadist, but I consider her to be the funniest person in this book. She’s a person full of mysteries. I do hope she spits out her backstory before the end of the series. Anyhow, she, like Scarlett, and most of the other characters, but mostly Scarlett, Mrs Amberson has definitely developed as a character.

Now, I may have mentioned that all of the characters are likeable and rather strange. However, I was mistaken – there was one character that I dislike. His name is Eric, and I wish that he would drown in the floods of iced tea that he presumably drinks, because he is southern, and this is what the internet tells me they do. (I mean no offence to you southern people. I’m sure you’re all lovely, even if the only liquid available there other than swamp water is iced tea.) Anyhow, what astounds me about Eric is the fact that he refuses to develop, refuses to stop smiling and acting all bashful, and also refuses to throw himself of a bridge. Strangely enough, I do rather like Max, however cynical and antagonistic he proves himself to be. AT LEAT HE DOESN’T BATHE IN ICED-TEA.

Perhaps you may have gathered, perhaps from the quality of this review, perhaps from the points that it brought up, that Scarlett fever isn’t a particularly challenging book, but it is most definitely an enjoyable one. It’s quirky, it’s amusing. It doesn’t concern itself with the heavy issues of the real world, only the issues of its idealised world, for those issues can be twisted into something charming and funny that the population will be willing to read about. Overall, it was a nice little distraction from all of the other heavy and highly political stuff that you can imagine me to be reading, because I’m sure that you all perceive me to be a deep and political sophisticated person. You ought to.

☆☆☆☆

Blog Tour: VIII by H M Castor (review + interview)

2011-10-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

I have been a slave to this review for the last few days. It's been wearing me down to the bone. Oh well, I'm so grateful to be able to get to do these things. I hope this makes sense ...

I am now going to divulge to you a fact that every man, woman (and their dog), every non-human life form, their non-human life form equivalent (and their non-human life form dog type thing) ought to know; I love historical fiction. Another bombshell comes in the form of me proclaiming my affections for supernatural fiction. But the thing that shall surprise the random selection of human and non-human life forms (and their dogs) that has gathered here today, is that VIII combines both genres, among other things. VIII, however, proves itself to be more than one reclusive fangirls literary dream. It proves itself to be a dreamy, twisted, yet engrossing twist of events. Indeed, one could say that it was men-in-sparkly-tights fabulous. Yes, you did read that correctly – this specimen does actually include men in tights!

Hopefully you’ll have more faith in this novel than to believe that all of its goodness lies within its men in tight, presumably luxurious tights. No, while I did get some kind of perverse pleasure from envisioning those characters in tights doing silly dances and other typically Tudor things, it is my duty to inform you that this book is beautifully written. The scenic writing conveyed the glitzy setting perfectly, but what shined most was the narrative; it’s energetic, crackly style remains both gripping and delusional, but also very frank about Henry emotional state (and by emotional state, we all know that I mean his impending descent into madness. That was done very well, and no, before you ask me if I can relate to that in any ways, kindly swallow a fork.). Let us just say that the narrative channelled Hal’s emotions and the action and other stuff that makes a book interesting and exciting. The setting, which will try and make my swallow a fork, if it isn’t brought back for another appearance, was vibrant and magnificent, underneath the decadent decorations, it’s just as rotten and nasty as the characters it hides. However, it didn’t really seem all that notable to me, as it wasn’t used for anything other than a ground for the characters to stand and fight on. Sometimes, I would completely forgot where they were, as Hal neglected to mention anything about his surroundings at all.

Hal himself isn’t unlikeable because he fails to hand out lovingly described passages about the presumably lovely places he lives in. No, that’s not why I resent him; I resent him because he was a pretentious, vindictive, and deluded-but-not-in-a-positive-loony-way. (And before you attempt to repeat that comeback about me being able to relate, kindly redigest that fork.) Since this book spanned the average lifespan of the average overweight male comedian, which seemed to be the lowest life form I could compare Hal to, it’s quite obvious that Hal wasn’t always as Henry VIII-y as he was towards the end of the book. No, I suppose Hal himself wasn’t all that bad; but his quest, that part was rather troubling. He screwed so many lives up in order to fulfil his dream of empires and sons that I found it nearly impossible to find him even halfway sympathetic. Because, if one doesn’t learn anything else from this novel, you do come out of it knowing how driven and bitchy you are required to be if you’re royal. All of the abuse Hal received from Arthur, from his father, all of the neglect shaped him into the delightful person he turned out to be. Despite having not a kind bone in his body, nor any part of him, Hal still felt very real. The author had the motions of his character all worked out; instead of limping along through the novel like the mechanical Turk on a desperate search for oil which it was never going to get, unresponsive, unchanging. Nope, Hal acted like a real person, developing and acting on his search for the proverbial bathroom which I intend to never let him find. Even if I didn’t like the way he developed, it was still done rather skilfully, unlike my efforts to hide the bathroom, which consist of a lot of tinsel and a trip wire. Before you ask, this plan is fool proof.

Of course, you won’t be surprised to find that there are other characters; unless you were under the impression that this book was simply Henry VIII sitting in a room, naming his fingers about his ten, successful sons and the palms of his hands after the empire he intends to build out of the countries he has enslaved. However entertaining that would be, I still feel the need to gleefully destroy any hopes and dreams that you have about the above synopsis. Another thing you won’t find particularly surprising that is that while this book has characters, none of them are all that sympathetic. Except Catherine, who for all her sweetness and determination, had some rather rotten luck towards the end of her life and died alone, possibly without a cat. This was a shame, as she was possibly the most developed of Henry’s mostly hateable harem. His friends were the same way; most of them felt rather disposable. Those that stayed felt like worn furniture, while the others felt like air. (One has to believe that the latter variety of characters were supposedly carried off winter sicknesses, or by giant, floating eagles or Hal’s desire to have a son out of anything and everything. Yes, my dear, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. I do hope your imagining the possibilities of that.) Anyhow, since most of you had to suffer through many years of uninterested people detailing Henry VIII complicated and silly love life, it won’t come as any surprise to you that Hal fell in love with anyone that might bring him a son or an empire. Sadly, France wasn’t all that willing to bear his child. Anyhow, love interests feel fairly disposable; they have to be, in order to fit Hal’s ideals about having a son and another son and some more sons … But what really pissed me off most about the romance was the fact that Hal knew very well what he was doing, and didn’t even lift a finger, didn’t even consider that maybe people would like him better if he stopped screwing up people’s lives.

Naturally, there is more to this book than interesting characters and beautiful writing. Of course there is, don’t look so sceptical. It was fascinating, for one, how the author managed to find a reason for every ridiculous thing that the real Henry did, historically. What was more impressive, that when you take into consideration Hal’s rather messed up manner of thinking, that about half of these reason are almost plausible. Also, elaborating on this ‘history’ thing I mentioned earlier, I ask you to please stop groaning – I had to sit through six years of listening about the Tudors and their noble struggle, too, you know. But what redeems this ancient scrap of an idea from the pile of steaming refuge where it’s been hiding since the last person attempted to write a novel portraying Henry VIII as a tortured soul, it’s how it’s executed; you see it through his eyes. Well, technically, you read it through the words an author has spent months formulating, but THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT. However much I disliked Hal, it was almost endearing seeing how his frantic, endless search for empires and sons caused him to lose sight of everything. It crushed everything and anything, yet it kept him going, causing him to make all of those crazy, stupid decisions. There’s probably a moral deep down in there, elusively chatting with its good friend symbolism, but I’m busy being weighed down under the unbelievably crushing depression that sets in if one thinks too hard about these kind of things. I also feel inclined to mention the plot; it was expectably predictable, since, you know, we all know how it happened. Luckily it’s not the main element in the book; it just supports the characters, like the setting. The setting and the plot, due to being subjected to mild levels of neglect over their lives, grew to become very good friends.

You might be pondering about the ghost story element I’ve been making obscure references to all this time, if you’re the sort who senses these things in all of my cryptic remarks above. The ghost story element, and the prophecy element while interesting, felt a little understated compared to how much the blurb mentions it. Throughout the book, there was no proof that these boys Hal were seeing were dead, or this prophecy was anything but coincidence. Until the very end, that is; wherein it really comes into its own. It’s like watching a child grow, into a successful adult. It’s so beautiful, I say as I wipe a single, glimmering tea away from my eye. (Note: that scene was idealised, like an artist’s rendition of hell. In reality I would be blubbing, loud and messy, and none of the characters would care.) Details became murky, massive twists occurred, and things were revealed, the reader gasps, providing a well-deserved chance for a Just As Planned grin. However, since most of these events occurred literally three pages before the end, the ending itself was rather abrupt. We never learn the identity of the boys, nor the consequences of the prophecy. Because this book doesn’t finish as it just ends. Seriously, IT JUST STOPS. Several large, mind-blowing revelations, and then END. Why, book, why? I DEMAND AN ANSWER.

On that note, it seems that the clock demands a conclusion. Overall, VIII is, if nothing else, unique from the other books staining its genre. But it is something else, because it is genuinely interesting, enjoyable and exciting. Old characters were able to brush some of the old dust of their heads and step into the shiny, new, lights of character development. Well, the spotlight with a post-it note proclaiming that they belong to character development, despite the fact that they belong to the fancy dress shop, but whatever. Even though the humour was a bit lacking, the action made up for it. VIII isn’t perfect, but it’s almost there. So, yes, before you ask, because I know you’re going to ask, because you always do, you really ought to read this book. The cover is also gorgeous, so if one doesn’t like the book, well, it’s your problem if I come to hunt you down for it, you could use the book as a shield, or a dart board, or you could frame … the possibilities are endless, but I’m not condoning all of them, for your information. I suggest you just read the book. Buy the book. Enjoy the book. For VIII is a readable, buy-able, and very much enjoyable experience.

Also there are men in tights. I think.

★★★★

And now, I managed to get the author to answer some questions for me. No, I wasn't hiding in the bushes outside her house! How dare you suggest I would do something like that? Anyhow. Here you go!

-- First of all, what were your inspirations for this book?

I’ve been obsessed with Tudor history since primary school – which makes it more
than 30 years now! I love history generally as a subject (though I didn’t always love the form it took at school), but I find it hard to pinpoint exactly why the Tudors have such a hold over me. A large part of it must be that the stories are so dramatic and so gut-wrenching. The word ‘story’ can be made to seem small and insignificant – e.g. when people say something is ‘just a story’. But I think stories are immensely important to us as human beings. We shape stories out of our own lives and it’s in the form of stories that we understand other people’s lives, too. Our psyches tell us stories about the outside world all the time – that’s how we cope; that’s how we make sense of the jumble of information our senses feed through to our brains. So, in saying that Tudor history provides wonderful stories I am saying something that, to me, could hardly be more significant.

-- Is there any particular reason why you choose Henry VIII as the protagonist, instead of any other significant royal person, or non-royal person?
Somehow it didn’t feel like a choice – Henry came and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck! After so many years of studying the period, both formally (I studied 16th century history for my degree) and just for fun, I had something of an epiphany: I suddenly realised that Henry’s story – which in one sense is very well known – has also always been incomplete. No book, play or film I’ve seen has ever given an account of what it was like to be him that rings true, psychologically, for me. Nothing I’ve ever seen has joined up all the dots of his life – again, psychologically. His mother, for example, was the sister of the Princes in the Tower (who were murdered) – his father spent many years on the run, pursued by assassins. Those experiences must have had a profound effect on this couple, on their personalities and, in turn, on their son Henry’s childhood. In writing VIII, it was astonishing and very exciting to feel that I had something genuinely new to say about such a well-known figure as Henry VIII.

-- Who was your favourite character to write about?

Henry, without a doubt. I don’t think you can write a novel in the first person without feeling that. If your favourite character is someone other than your protagonist, perhaps you should be writing from their point of view instead!

-- Do you sympathise with Henry, or any of his wives for that matter?

Great question! I sympathise with the young Henry, and I empathise with Henry from the beginning right through to the end. I guess what I’m trying to say in making that distinction is that I can always see things from Henry’s point of view, and I can always appreciate why he did what he did, but I can’t say I sympathise with some of the utterly horrific decisions he took in the last twenty years of his life. Indeed, if I took my novelist’s hat off, I would say some very rude things about Henry indeed. But when I was writing the book, I inhabited Henry’s viewpoint so completely that any sense of what things looked like from the outside temporarily fell away.

And I sympathise with every one of Henry’s wives, all six of them!

-- What was the most interesting thing you did in order to research the book?

Since I am so obsessed with the period I found all the research – in its many and varied aspects – fascinating. That is one of the treats of writing a historical novel set in a period you love. One high point was getting my hands on a copy of The Inventory of King Henry VIII (a mighty volume, edited by David Starkey, transcribed by Philip Ward & indexed by Alasdair Hawkyard). It is a minutely detailed inventory of all Henry VIII’s possessions – down to the last chair and hat-pin – made immediately after his death. Using it I could furnish Henry’s rooms, put objects under his fingers, put covers on his beds and clothes on his back. It was endlessly fascinating – I could lose myself for days in that book!

From a different point of view, it was also fascinating to research the English martial arts of the period, since they were something I knew very little about. I read many books, including an excellent one by Terry Brown (English Martial Arts, published by Anglo-Saxon Books), who is an expert in martial arts as we think of them today, and has brought all that skill and experience to his study of traditional English fighting systems. In Henry’s day, these systems were as complex and as well-established as Eastern martial arts are today, and they required just as much dedication and training. Since the acquisition of fighting skills was so central to Henry’s life I had to study them in detail. I also took up a martial art (Taekwondo) myself, in order to find out what it felt like to face an opponent!

-- Why did you decide to include a ghost story element?

Another excellent question. But I’m afraid it’s one about which I don’t want to say too much. I will be intrigued to find out what readers think of this element when they finish VIII. Who or what is the ghost? Do tell me your ideas – and there’s no right or wrong answer to this, as in my view readers’ opinions are every bit as valid as my own!

You can contact me through my website: www.hmcastor.com
Or find me on Twitter: @HMCastor

Thank you so much for having me to visit!

Thanks to everyone who organised this for me, I'm so grateful!

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Leviathan

2011-09-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

It's rather short, I decided to have mercy on you all.

One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, two teens—both named Will Grayson—are about to cross paths. As their worlds collide and intertwine, the Will Graysons find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, building toward romantic turns-of-heart and the epic production of history’s most fabulous high school musical. (From Goodreads.com. What a surprise.)

Earlier, I was contemplating where I should set this review. Although I am ashamed to admit it, my immediate thought was Frenchies. But then I realised what I saw saying and started to shake my head against the idea, hoping that it would ward off any horrors hidden in small black bags. Will Grayson, Will Grayson, however, could not be contained within one of these crude black bags, for it is bigger than them. It is bigger than those bags, it is bigger than the shop wherein the perverts of the neighbourhood obtain those bags, it is bigger than those perverts, and it is bigger than you and me. It is bigger, if possible, than Tiny Cooper. And it is slightly more awesome.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson is all the fun of a John Green novel with all the fun of a David Leviathan novel blended together, condensed into about 300 pages and sprinkled with the shavings of sparkly awesome and Broadway musicals. Yes, I think it is becoming quite evident that I rather like this book. What’s not to like? It was a well-written novel based around an interesting concept, filled with wit and awesomeness. The humour was random, vulgar, stupid, snarky, but it was always funny. And while not all that emotionally involving, the novel definitely brought up some really interesting and genuine issues. Like why Tiny’s musical has not adapted for real life stage. This is a genuine concern of mine, because I MUST SEE THAT MUSICAL, as if my life depended on it. Which it does, so someone with some kind of musical talent better get off up their arses and make my dream/Tiny’s play into a reality!

Since the books plot is powered by the whims of people who want to write musicals, or want to seduce their friends over the internet, or people who randomly wander into shops like Frenchies in order to test out their faulty fake ID, it is not the main focus. No, that would be the narrative, and the characters behind it. Both sides of the narrative, Uppercase Will (authored, a fancy word that I’ve been longing to use, by John Green) and lowercase will (authored, such a nice word, by David Leviathan), were incredibly strong, and unique. I love split narratives, and both flowed into each other fabulously; although, I must admit that lowercase will’s lowercaseness is slightly jarring at first. The emotions rang true, even if I don’t happen to be a teenage boy, nor do I wish to be, but the emotions were so universal that almost anyone could relate to the characters. Both narratives pertained to be outlandish, comedic and screwball-y, but underneath the upbeat tone lied a miserably, sleeping dragon, a very angsty dragon. Despite its seemingly heavy undertones, it never felt heavy, nor depressing. Well, with the exception of lowercase will’s early chapters, wherein he was a massive buzz kill (a job which he seemed to take very seriously; indeed, by the time I finished his chapter, I found that all of the joy in my surroundings was lying in the corner, harvesting mushrooms on its head, or had dropped dead trying to make an escape.). But he got better as time went on, thankfully, because otherwise we’d be living on a dead planet, devoid of happiness and sunshine.

Speaking of the characters, they were a colourful bunch; Uppercase Will was the classic John Green protagonist, snarky, misunderstood, annoyed, but ever so endearing. Well developed, realistic, but awfully familiar; indeed, it astonishes and impresses me how JG can write about the exact same archetype every time, yet make the characters so unique in their own way. It is amazing. It is nerdfightastic. Uppercase Will provided his own form of snark and humour, whereas lowercase will, he brings an equally unique amount of snark, and a rather large of conditions that can only be treated by large amounts of anti-depressants or hugs. Akin to the other Will, his development was incredibly endearing. He was dealing with so many problems, most of which he created in his own mind. He was incredibly layered, so pitiable. He needs a hug. The rest of the male cast should feel obligated to hug him. No, it’s not for my fangirly enjoyment, this time, I promise. It’s for will’s good! His poor heart might shrivel up and crawl out of his chest if he doesn’t get some love soon. Tiny is kind of polarising, for me, at least; I’m having a little trouble deciding on whether he was awesome, because he was so amusing and very, very gay and totally fine with that (for I find reading about people angsting over their sexualities very, very dull, and if someone can accept something with good grace, then they are obviously the better person.), or rather irritating; because sometimes, he could be very selfish and slightly irritation. I suppose his flaws make him a character more true to life. Jane was interesting as characters go, plain but fine personality wise. Not a manic-pixie-dream-girl, like Green’s other girl characters, but it was a nice break. Maura, well, not much needs to be said about Maura. She was a bitch. That is all.

You might be wondering if I have anything negative to say about this book. And for that, you receive a blow to the head and a pre-marked gravestone. How dare you suggest that there is something wrong with this book?! There is nothing wrong with this book; only things wrong with the world. For example, WHY HASN’T TINY’S PLAY BEEN MADE REAL? AND THEN PUT ON BROADWAY? AND WHY HAVEN’T I BEEN SENT TICKETS? On that note, I bid you to buy the book. The cover is excessively shiny, like this review. You might enjoy it. No, you likely will enjoy it. It’s a humorous, surreal, journey across the barren wasteland of Chicago, land of excitement and American-ness. You will enjoy it.

★★★★.5

Review: The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson

2011-09-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

/Exhales. This took me at least two weeks to write. IT BETTER BE GOOD. (It probably won't make sense, though.)

The day Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux arrives in London marks a memorable occasion. For Rory, it's the start of a new life at a London boarding school. But for many, this will be remembered as the day a series of brutal murders broke out across the city, gruesome crimes mimicking the horrific Jack the Ripper events of more than a century ago. Soon “Rippermania” takes hold of modern-day London, and the police are left with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory spotted the man police believe to be the prime suspect. But she is the only one who saw him. Even her roommate, who was walking with her at the time, didn't notice the mysterious man. So why can only Rory see him? And more urgently, why has Rory become his next target? In this edge-of-your-seat thriller, full of suspense, humor, and romance, Rory will learn the truth about the secret ghost police of London and discover her own shocking abilities. (Guess what? I didn't write this. But that's not the surprise. No, the surprise is that Goodreads.com wrote it.)

Although I am considered to be a compulsive liar by all of those who know me, I regard lying as pursuit that is both morally and physically wrong. Therefore, I will do my very best not to lie in the following review. On that note, the following facts in this review are almost guaranteed to include some form of fib. Now, when I first heard of The Name of the Star, I was curled up in a corner that people normally reserve for hobos or the depressed. It was rather quiet in this corner of the world, the only living creature within miles were the black birds that usually follow hobos and the depressed in order to pick of their belongings and or gloomy atmosphere. After hearing of the details of this book, I let out a laugh that diminished both the black birds peace and the gloomy atmosphere within the space of a few seconds. However, that high pitched laugh was not one of mirth, but one of sheer terror. Maureen Johnson writing a series book in itself it hardly frightening, but Maureen Johnson writing a book on Jack the Ripper sends shivers down my spine. Something buried deep in the chaos of my head was yelling an alarm, warning me that it would not in fact be a murdered responsible for the crimes, but a rogue hamster with a horn. Why I thought this has long since left me, but I do remember resolving to buy the book, for the simple reason that Maureen Johnson wrote it, and it is thus automatically awesome.

Before one even questions the awesomeness of this book, the one who even thought of suggesting that this book was not awesome needs to stand up, leave the room and go to a place where they can wash their mouths and minds out with soap and water. The Name of the Star is indeed an awesome book, possibly the most enjoyable book I read in the time where I was confined to my corner of squawking, hiding from the gloomy atmosphere that lurked nearby. I eluded capture from the gloomy atmosphere that loomed outside, however, it seemed all for naught. There was a small piece of gloomy atmosphere, glaring at me all along, its smug eyes staring up at me from where I set the book down. Inside the sanctuary of my corner, was The Name of the Star. The Name of the Star may include gloomy atmosphere, but that’s only a part of the perfectly tailored atmosphere that the book treasured. The atmosphere adapted to whatever it needed to be, whenever it was needed. Amusing, alcohol driven school life hijinks? The Atmosphere has got its deck chair out, and is sampling an acidic yellow beverage with a giant idiotic smile on its face. Oh, no, some poor person has been murdered on the school green and our protagonist saw a suspicious man! What to do, what to do? The Atmosphere is looking over you, intense and sinister. Jack the Ripper wants to dismember and kill the main character in a horrible, painful way? Oh, The Atmosphere isn’t going to help, but it is definitely going to provide the fear, the suspense and tension. (But you have to buy your own popcorn.) Whatever the situation required, the atmosphere was fully equipped to make said situation awesome.

But it was not the atmosphere and its hills of shiny equipment, that made this book awesome. What was it? Because, in addition to having a great atmosphere, The Name of the Star is also fabulously written. Rory, as an excellent, quirky, strong character spins a fittingly strong, excellent, quirky narrative. Tremendously gripping, it felt very natural. More natural than the word ‘tremendously’ will ever feel on someone’s tongue, and just as quite as expressive. Since ‘tremendous’ feels like a firework trying to escape from a dentists appointment (but to no avail, of course), you will now imagine, along with the image of a firework unwillingly undergoing a root cannel, that this book’s narrative is, among other things, emotive enough to make the scene feel lively, but not overly so that it made me feel like I was drowning in a sea of teenage angst. No, because if I drown, then I’m taking the humour with me. Then that would be lost to the world, which would be a shame, as it was spot on, with its oddness and its alligators. It prevented the book from turning into a terrified, paranoid wreck that sat in the corner and made irrelevant comments on the end of the world. Speaking of which, the tension and the paranoia were built up perfectly, and maintained very well for the most part. Like the garden of mushrooms that the terrified, paranoid wreck is cultivating in its corner. I suppose I should also mention that somewhat akin to the garden of mushrooms being positively cultivated above is the pacing (which lost no time in boasting the fact that it will be faster than I will ever be, only stopping to allow me periods of time where I would sob at my own feeble speed or curl up in a ball and make terrified comments about the events of the novel. It often laughed at me while I did this.) and the execution of the novel (which, all mortifying puns I could make aside was also fabulous. More exciting, smartly woven events were skilfully placed onto the table than money at an antiques auction.). The romance also did well to alleviate the tension, but didn't detract from the plot. It was like the acidic yellow spots that lie on the top of the well cultivated mushrooms.

Now, all of the positive energy that’s leaking out of the above paragraphs is beginning to make this dreary little corner practically radiant. Can’t have that, can’t have that now. Anyhow, to deter the cheery atmosphere from growing, I shall now mention some of this book’s flaws. Unfortunately, it has some, but they don’t really matter, because (as you should know by now) this book is awesome. Alright, you know that fantastic atmosphere I mentioned? Yes, well, sometimes, it just disappeared. This was to be expected; the excellent job it did blanketing the story and enhancing its already great features must have been taxing, and it was entitled to a few breaks, I suppose. But nonetheless, it’s rather jarring when the previous scene was tense and sinister, but the current scene (the introduction of the ghosts scene/part/THING is a particular offender) is so carefree it could be inserted into a Malory Towers book and nobody would notice the difference. However, it’s not particularly noticeable in the long run, and it does help to balance out the book; it would be truly tragic if the book went from fairly innocent school story to paranormal, sinister murder mystery. But thankfully, it doesn’t.

On the more personal side of today’s nitpick, the whole ghost story aspect of the novel didn’t really sit with me well, not at first at least. Although seeing ghosts after a near death-experience is an interesting concept, and it was certainly was done well, but just the ghost’s presence felt rather … lazy to me. Previously, there had been this amazing, intriguing crime story, and instead of resolving that it was actually so and so (and by so and so I mean the main character’s best friend, because that would amuse me.), it is revealed that it is a ghost doing this. To me, at least, this revelation didn’t quite fit in with the tone. Like some genius had just injected giant squid monsters into a Sarah Dessen book. However, after having read it a … couple of times, I can’t really hate it. It was a unique take of ghost stories, and ghost busters and other related things.

Why, all of my efforts to resurrect the gloomy atmosphere seem to have been for naught (and have left me rather exhausted to boot.), for I still have a few positive things to say. Why, you ask? Well, the answer lies in your heart, or your short time memory. No, no, no, it is not that I am mad and am currently sitting in a mental institution, chained to the wall with machines pumping enough sedatives into me to send an elephant into hibernation. No, no, no. The answer is that this book is awesome. And while the answer to that question still eludes me, I do believe that the characters may have had something to do with it. Indeed, Rory was a brilliant lead, humorous and fun, yet strong and noble, she came straight from the USA with her brain and spine in check and she definitely wasn’t afraid to use them. However, she wasn’t entirely inaccessible, as she too was frightened by the horrible events that were conspiring around her. Jazza and Jerome were fairly interesting fodder as well; the self-depreciating every-girl who has the brains to choose the right alcohol but not the capacity to contain it, and the delightfully strange, unnervingly well-informed, curly haired love interest are at the same time common stereotypes and something completely different. However, they were not the main event. Neither were Boo, Callum, or Stephen, who were just as men-in-sparkly-tights fabulous. (Today’s meaning of MISTF denotes that the characters were all tremendously well-developed and terribly interesting have around.) Boo was amusing, a stereo-type that seems to have nested itself in the people around me, and while I find this terrifying, she was still an intriguing character even if she could be buried in the amount of times she said ‘yeah’ after a sentence. Callum was loud and boisterous, snarky and brave, but I am sorry to inform you that his ego couldn’t be contained within his head and splattered over the pages of the book. Stephen, whom I adored for mostly unexplained reason, was a young policeman with a tragic backstory and a penchant for being the most huggable character in the series due to attitude/poor luck/other stuff. Come here, Stephen, let me give you a hug, I promise I’m not a criminal. Speaking of criminals, the antagonist of this novel is one of the most despicable sort; one that aspires to sympathetic. WELL, MR.NEWMAN, YOU ARE ANYTHING BUT. I haven’t hated a character so much for such a long time; he was a really effective and interesting as villains go.

Well, it appears that we have approached the end, and no it is my solemn duty to reveal why this book is awesome, for those of you who care. Those people have a headcount of 0.5, and have all been recently released from Hell, but they at least have some idea about why this book is awesome. It is not because of one mere detail, no; it is because of all the mere details that were meticulously woven into this book. This book is awesome because it is full of awesome things. And if one wants a list of those awesome things, then they haven’t been paying attention. Paying attention or no, I recommend that you go and buy a copy of this book. The only reason, my dear, is one that you know well. No, no, no, it is not because I am mad and need my medication, it is because THIS BOOK IS AWESOME.

Thanks to HarperCollins for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★★

... I really ought to find a synonym for awesome.

Review: Haunting Violet by Alyxandra Harvey

2011-08-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

I bet this won't make sense in the morning.

Violet Willoughby doesn't believe in ghosts. But they believe in her. After spending years participating in her mother's elaborate ruse as a fraudulent medium, Violet is about as skeptical as they come in all matters supernatural. Now that she is being visited by a very persistent ghost, one who suffered a violent death, Violet can no longer ignore her unique ability. She must figure out what this ghost is trying to communicate, and quickly because the killer is still on the loose. Afraid of ruining her chance to escape her mother's scheming through an advantageous marriage, Violet must keep her ability secret. The only person who can help her is Colin, a friend she's known since childhood, and whom she has grown to love. He understands the true Violet, but helping her on this path means they might never be together. Can Violet find a way to help this ghost without ruining her own chance at a future free of lies? (From Goodreads.com. Obviously.)

There is a long standing agreement between summer and I; it bleats on out outside and makes merry with the cows and the flowers while I keep my distance inside and read books about dead people. Why is this, you ask without much curiosity? Well, I reply glumly, I’ve witnessed summer making merry before, and the nightmares will likely never go away. So, I read books about dead people. Haunting Violet was one of the more promising specimens that I took under my metaphorical wing for the summer, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. I’d like to think it was a little more grateful about being saved from having a front row seat for the summertime merry-making, but alas, it simply picked my pocket and put laudanum in my tea.

Drugged up and minus a wallet, the first thing you need to know about Haunting Violet is that the interactions between the characters are absolutely fantastic. Snarky, smart-ass comments reigned supreme among the lively, bouncy banter between the lively, bouncy-characters. Every conversation, every squabble, every time the characters interacted, whether they were fighting or kissing, haunting or just talking, it always felt fresh and realistic, romantic, funny … anything that it needed to be, it was. I’ve noticed that fabulous dialogue (and by fabulous I mean the ‘men in sparkly tights making self-depreciating jokes about their sparkly tights’ variety. Simply because that is the best type of fabulous there is, not that there are any men in glittering tights in this novel. Unfortunately.) seems to be a recurring feature in Alyxandra Harvey’s novels - seriously, even if she were to write a book about the mating habits of the aubergine, I would inevitably fall in love with it because the interaction between the characters because despite the subject matters, they would still manage to have a witty conversation commenting on some important issue.

The witty character interactions, however, did not encompass the romance, and in turn the romance kept to itself. The romance was nice, but the romance was always there. Wherever you happened to be, the romance would be lurking in the shadows nearby. The romance is the one that put the laudanum in my tea. One day I will grab the romance by the scruff of its neck and force a hammer down its throat, because that’s what every sound louder than a whisper felt like after I drank that cup of tea. Despite its nasty habits, the romance was very cute and satisfying. But one can’t help but feel that the romance, while ever present, did appear to come out of nowhere. It lacked any kind of build up; one minute Violet hates Colin and Xavier seems to have a chance, and then suddenly Colin and Violet happen to be making out, and suddenly, true love! Pre-spontaneous smooching, Xavier is a lovely guy, post-spontaneous smooching, Xavier is really dull, but at least he’s got money. Even the hopeless romantic in me, the one whom I keep locked up for eleven months a year, doesn’t understand this.

Of course, for characters to have witty, intriguing conversations, they do have to be witty and intriguing themselves. Although wit and intrigue is not necessarily needed to have a witty conversations, as one can be possessed or influenced by strong liquor brewed by fairies, both of which are apparently readily available to the characters. However, they succeed at being witty or intriguing without the aid of the supernatural and their surprisingly strong alcohol. They were the bones of the story, which without them would just be another ghost story mystery typed things with men in tight trousers that are disappointingly lacking in sparkles. Violet was a fantastic heroine, resourceful and smart, sarcastic and independent. Plenty of backbone in her judgements, and while she wasn’t entirely relatable (as much as I would want to be stalked by ghosts and have several handsome men vying for my hand, reality and my therapist tell me that those aren’t likely to happen anytime soon.), she was still a fun person to follow around. Her selection of friends was great too; Elizabeth was a riot. Silly, witty and likeable, she was possibly the manliest character in this series, in terms of courage and such. Plenty of personality, a bit too much to fit into her corset. Violet’s choice in men, however, was rather questionable in comparison. Colin was much less fleshed out; often he felt flat and inconsistent, sometimes he felt like an idealised stereotype conjured for the sole purpose of making out with Violet. Although he was tolerable for the most part, he was frustratingly flat.

There were other characters who were important, such as Violet’s parents (whom I wish dead, so they shall not be mentioned.) and Tabitha, Rowena and Caroline (yes, lovely. Tragic.) and a bunch of stock males/patrons of the nearest of liquor store who aren’t particularly important and Frederic/Peter did not occur like I wished it to, so I refuse to acknowledge them, and there are other important things that need to be brought to light. Such as the mystery, whom didn’t seem to be able to make up its mind whether it wanted to wear a corset and sip tea and make polite conversation with Violet, or if wanted to throw empty plant pots at her because she was so inept at solving mysteries. As for the mystery itself, there were some great twists (oh, so Mr Travis didn’t accidently murder Rowena? So it really was _______?), as well as a few rather mediocre ones (Mr Travis is the lover, now, who saw that one coming?). Haunting Violet provided an interesting mystery, incorporating ghost in a unique fashion and … other important stuff that makes thing good. The ghosts, while not particularly unique or ambitious in their presentation, they did make for brilliant characters. Rowena, the melancholy ghost who preferred her water torture methods to small talk, the lecherous ghost who wandered the graveyard on the scrounge for a kiss, or that irritating little dog whom Violet adored.

Now, before I go and round up the negative things I have to say and trap them in a gloomy atmosphere, I have to run the last lap around the isle of positive things about this book. One of the best things about this book was Violet’s narrative. I’ve noticed lately that some first person narratives don’t always connect with the character that’s supposed to be narrating it, and those results in having two entirely different characters; the one speaking and the one thinking. Sometimes it is done well, others it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Violet’s narrative, however, was one of the occasion in which this was done well, since she was essentially living two lives; the one that spoke was the spiritualist’s daughter, the polite one, and the thinking side did not have a beard, contrary to popular belief. The one that thought was the one who wanted to escape, the witty and the smart one. Anyhow, this all manifested in a very captivating, well written narrative that was all at the same time funny, dramatic, blah, blah, Violet sounded natural, blah, blah, good narrative, blah, blah.

Alright, now that all of that cheerful stuff is over and done with, I can finally get on with my very favourite pastime; bitching and moaning about the book with a smile that could gobble up the Philippines. Note: while I enjoy whining, that doesn’t mean that any of these things actually matter. I mean, me swallowing the Philippines might be a bit of a dilemma, but whatever. To get the primary things out of the way; Haunting Violet plot isn’t overly complicated, and you can see some of the plot twists coming three miles away, because they might as well be wearing giant yellow signs proclaiming “I AM A PLOT TWIST RELEVANT TO EVERY MYSTERY EVER.” Examples include: “Oh! How on earth could Rowena’s suspicious death possibly be a murder? What’s the likelihood of that, mmm, mmmm?” and “the stick up Caroline’s is not in fact that she may have murdered someone, no, it is forbidden love!” Please, gag me with a spoon.

Other than that, character introductions ranged from a ‘bit off’ to ‘wait, where did he come from?!’. Honestly, book, if you think that you can get away with “Oh, this person who has been talking for the last five minutes is Peter, he’s terribly grumpy for some reason and he drinks all of the time.” Or “this chap who has been overly polite towards me for the last two chapters is Xavier, and he fantastically handsome, also fantastically rich, but he’s also fantastically boring!” If you think you can get away with those kind of introductions, then you’ve never been subjected to the marmite punishment. (Note: Character introductions are, strangely enough, not from the actual book.)

Now that we’ve covered every inch of this book, every inch except those that are important, Haunting Violet proved to be a fun, interesting read, abundant with excellent banter and likeable characters. It shed an interesting view on spiritualism (or ‘let’s pretend we see dead people because very rich people are willing to give away their money to those that do because they are also very stupid’), and what people would do for money. I enjoyed it, and I recommend it. In fact, I recommend it to you. So, I say, go and buy Haunting Violet. You probably won’t regret it.

Thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me a copy to review.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ .5

Review: Forgive my Fins by Tera Lynn Childs

2011-08-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Mooooo. I went on holiday and observed cows. I seem to have picked up some of their habits.

Lily Sanderson has a secret, and it’s not that she has a huge crush on gorgeous swimming god Brody Bennett, who makes her heart beat flipper-fast. Unrequited love is hard enough when you’re a normal teenage girl, but when you’re half human, half mermaid like Lily, there’s no such thing as a simple crush. Lily’s mermaid identity is a secret that can’t get out, since she’s not just any mermaid – she’s a Thalassinian princess. When Lily found out three years ago that her mother was actually a human, she finally realized why she didn’t feel quite at home in Thalassinia, and she’s been living on land and going to Seaview high school ever since, hoping to find where she truly belongs. Sure, land has its problems – like her obnoxious, biker boy neighbour Quince Fletcher – but it has that one major perk – Brody. The problem is, mermaids aren’t really the casual dating type – when they “bond,” it’s for life. When Lily’s attempt to win Brody’s love leads to a tsunami-sized case of mistaken identity, she is in for a tidal wave of relationship drama, and she finds out, quick as a tailfin flick, that happily-ever-after never sails quite as smoothly as you planned. (From Goodreads, add witty comment about theft here.)

One not-so-closely guarded secret about me is that I really enjoy books about mermaids. It doesn’t sound particularly scandalous when one phrases it like that. Some people enjoy books about vampires; I enjoy books about mermaids. And demons, but that’s hardly relevant. It’s just when I start revealing the small details that people start to edge away from me at a pace generally dubbed ‘away from the mad person before you catch something’. You see, over time, I’ve compiled a stock of mermaid books large enough to build a towering house out of. That house and I, we would be the best of friends. Every time I hear of a new book regarding mermaids, I will rush out to the book shop and demand the truth about the publications. It’s quite amazing that I haven’t been arrested yet. Anyhow, when I heard of this book, I was rather excited, to put it lightly. I was even more excited when it dropped through my mail box. But did it live up to my expectations?

Yes, actually. Oh, why are you giving your monitor that look – and contain that ‘oh why are you so predictable’ sigh, while you’re at it. I might be easy to please, but on a critical level, if one is able to get past all of the painful fishy puns, it’s a good book. I certainly enjoyed it. But I will never be able to ignore how terrible some of that fish-terminology is. (Seriously, if I hear another one of those sea-food related insults I will start to bleed. There is a reason why I cannot stomach sea-food, and those awful sea-creature insults that Lily throws around like fish food is why.)

The first thing that stands out about this book is the narration. Lily’s narrative is quirky and unique as much as it is gripping. Had it not for the paper in my hands, I would have been fully convinced that it was a real teenager speaking to me. I could feel the emotion in the narrative as if it was buzzing in my hand, although I really wish it wouldn’t buzz because I’m terrified that it will grow wings and try and eat me. Of course, the narrative wouldn’t be any good if the characters behind it were so dull, flat and unpleasant it was almost as if they were made of those odd little paper perfume testers glued together with mustard. But thankfully, they weren’t.

Indeed, the cast was a likeable bunch. Most had distinct personalities (and by ‘most’, I obviously mean those relevant to the plot. If you’re wandering about the other ones, then no. They were actually made of perfume testers and mustard) and enough development to back a small truck into a large corner. Clichés ran riot among them, but they were good clichés done well. Lily was a relatable and fun heroine, a step away from the regular rock for brains and jelly for spine specimen one expects to find in these things. Although she wasn’t what one would call the brightest crayon in the box, she wasn’t dumb enough for me to want to smash her head in, which, considering the fact that I will readily smash many irritating characters heads in is quite an honour. She wasn’t without her struggles or her flaws; she could be rather bratty and idiotic in her judgements. She developed well throughout the story. I rather liked her, if one hasn’t yet gathered. And now comes to the part where I start to sigh and smile off into the distance while twirling my hair. This strange, seemingly spontaneous reaction is caused by the fact that I now feel inclined to talk about the leading male in this novel. His name was Quince, and he was awesome. As the irritating boy-next-door antagonist/person/THING, he was mischievous and cocky, yet still sweet and devoted towards Lily. While he remained pretty well-developed throughout the story, I did feel that his characterisation could be a little bit uneven at times. Brody, the boy whom Lily idolised as being her true love, was more of a symbol than a character. He represents Lily’s growth as a character, to some extent anyway. And how she was in love with a fantasy. That’s all there really is to say about him. In fact, other than that, he was about as interesting as wallpaper. One really has to question Lily’s taste in men.
The characters and the narration may have been some of this books joy, its true joy lies in its romance. At its core, Forgive My Fin’s is a sweet, silly teenage romance. Cute, but not too soppy or over dramatic; it draws you in and won’t let you out until you fully support Lily and Quince getting together as if the world depended on it. Now that I think about it, it sounds reminiscent of competitive sport. Goldfish racing, perhaps. Anyhow. I have trouble finding words to describe the romance, but I can honestly say that it will have you squealing like a girl. I mean, I certainly did. I suppose that means something, as my heart is as cold as the top of Mount Everest on a bad day. It’s just that sweet.

And now we commence upon the part of the review where I feel inclined to nitpick. Well, that’s what the mighty notes say I should do. However, there is a problem, and that problem is the fact that I have no major bones to pick with this book. I suppose it was a predictable plot-wise, and a few convenient plot-shortcuts were taken to keep the story from coming to a stuttering halt, but they’re kind of shy about revealing themselves to the reader and therefore not much to worry about. The mermaid lore wasn’t elaborated upon, leaving quite a few of the details rather confusing. Can all mermaids grow a pair of legs and go and start a farm upon land? Is there a law confining them to the sea? Do they just not like those meddlesome landlubbers? It confused me a little. But really, I have very few bones to pick with this book.

Well. I guess this brings us to our conclusion. It feels rather melancholy, ending this intervention like this, don’t you think? Oh. Just me. Right, yes, just me. Overall, Forgive my Fins is a book I can highly recommend for one to pick up after a stressful day; it will sooth you. It’s sweet, and romantic, and you can read it with your brain turned off! That’s always a bonus, not having to work out any complicated mystery scenario or visualise any vivid fight-scene. Simply put, Forgive my Fins is not underwhelming, nor is it overwhelming. it’s not perfect, but it certainly is charming. On a vaguely related note, the UK cover is really shiny; and that’s always a good thing. If you don’t actually like the book, strange person, you can still use it as some kind of mirror. It’s very pretty.

Thanks to Templar Publishing for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★

Review: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time by Yasutaka Tsutsui

2011-07-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

By the way, I do reccomend watching the anime movie of this. It's cute, although it was rather unique in it's adaption.

One of Tsutsui's best-known and most popular works in his native Japan, The Girl Who Leapt through Time is the story of fifteen-year-old schoolgirl Kazuko, who accidentally discovers that she can leap back and forth in time. In her quest to uncover the identity of the mysterious figure that she believes to be responsible for her paranormal abilities, she'll constantly have to push the boundaries of space and time, and challenge the notions of dream and reality. (Pinched from amazon.co.uk. Please don't hurt me.)

The first thing I have to address in this review, before this zoo, is that The Girl That Leapt Through Time is very short, clocking in at just over one-hundred pages, with a bonus story filling the space left. Yet still, this book felt just the right length. Long enough to leave an impression, short enough to be a fast, enjoyable read without become tiring or dull. It felt very straight-to-the point; a bit like my impression of the whole book, really. It tells the story, avoids meandering off in a direction that involves pointless descriptions of Mexican cuisine. And the result is very satisfactory. Actually, it doesn't take time off it's tight schedule to describe any food actually. The poor book needs a meal. Maybe we should get Indian takeout together? Ah, yes. Whisperings in the crowd. I see that this was not the appropriate response. Yes, right, no Indian food.

Oh right, yes. The jury, a rowdy group composed of irritable safari animals, doesn't take well to distractions. Sorry, court. For a bit of a change of pace, I'm going to discuss some of the things that The Girl Who Leapt Through Time does wrong. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is very humble, plot-wise. While there are a few genuinely surprising twists scattered around, especially toward the end, the plot ploughed on in it's determined, unique but not particularly surprising journey. I'm not use whether I can blame this on the translation, which we come to later, but the writing was rather bland, but had a certain charm about it. There's also the small matter of The Girl Who Leapt Through Time being somewhat malnourished development wise. Side-characters often made one appearance to prove a point, and were never heard of again, the time-travelling aspect was slightly under-developed. One has to expect this with a book of this length, and it's not particularly overwhelming.

Although more of a personal nit-pick, I really didn't like who the author resolved the romantic subplot. The much-too-short romantic sub-plot that ended in a way that angers me, myself, and the heavens, judging from the amount of rain that we're receiving lately. Kazuo, dear, have you not a romantic bone in your body? "I love you, but I've got to go and work now! In the future, in secret! So see ya in never!" (Note: a slightly condensed version of the events towards the end of the book.) This rubs me the wrong way because of how anti-climatically it was resolved. It wasn't because it lacked emotion, or was stupid, pointless, or anything like that. Emotionally-charged and carefully planned out it may have been, but I honestly can't believe that Kazuko let Kazuo erase her memories, and then just walk away. This angers and frustrates my inner hopeless romantic to the point in which only low, guttural noises can describe how negatively I feel about it. Noises like that one lion in the audience is prone to making after meals.

Yet somehow, despite it's seemingly fatal flaws, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time just works. Oh. It appears that I will need to elaborate a bit more. I mentioned before that this book feels very straight to the point. And in many ways, it is. But that's hardly a bad thing. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time strives to tell a story, and it achieves that goal with flying colours. Seriously, those rainbows you see are not caused by light and precipitation's random meet-ups, or whatever, or God's colourful output after a few too many glasses of wine and two large plates of Indian curry, but the sheer awesomeness of this book. The story itself is exciting, sweet, gripping, and the tone of the novel bends to the whims of the novel, making whatever strange thing that just occurred feel right at home with both the book, the characters, and the reader.

I also feel the need to commend the author on the pacing, and the handling of the time-travel in The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. To state my views on the latter quite frankly, I am very glad that there were no spaceships involved. The way that Kazuko jumped around from time to time differed from your average science-fiction fare in how Kazuko wasn't using a machine, and had absolutely no idea what she was doing most of the time. It was very refreshing, and for the most part, didn't require my brain to get up and do stuff. Now, the pacing. Oh, Miss Pacing. You and I have quite a conversation in front off us. When you tried, you were excellent - leaving me begging for more, keeping up with your rapid advances. Well ... that sounded rather ... dirty. Anyhow, when one doesn't feel inclined to do good, don't just give up! Don't just waver off and ham-handedly shove the material down someones throat when you want to go home. It leaves the book all lopsided, sometimes very nicely paced and exciting, but other times just rushed or rather slow. Please. Try harder next time, as there are some very hungry animals in the audience who are very eager to taste Dramatic Timing.

Kazuko is your average teenager, sometimes confident and smart, baffled at the events happening around her, but still trying to get on with her life. She had brains, a spine and a like-able demeanour. A nice heroine, but rather ... average. Kazuo, her friend and surprisingly enough, the guy whom I previously defined as not having a romantic bone in his body was the character happened to be my favourite. Eccentric and spacey, smart, and despite all of what I said earlier, ultimately quite sweet. But seriously, Kazuo, seriously. You work may be important, but it's not that important. At least stay long enough to take her somewhere nice for dinner. Oh, right yes. I become hippo food if I get distracted. Can't have that. Now comes the time when I talk about Goro, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time's unsung hero. The somewhat whiny, slightly boisterous, easily forgotten third member of the main trio. Until, you know, he suddenly disappeared towards the end of the book. Boom! Without a trace. I initially thought he was going to be the one who ended with Kazuko, but since fate likes to punch holes in my predictions, it was not so. But I'd do wonder were he went.

Well. I do believe I'm nearly finished. Simply put, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is an enjoyable romp, bittersweet and fast. It's short and sweet, interesting and refreshing. The presentation is shiny, the translation is at least consistent, I can't judge how good it is, because I haven't read the original (in the actual book, I mean. The side story's translation was inconsistent and localised rather oddly.), and the story itself is fantastic. I love this book, and I want to hug it to my chest. I recommend you pick it up, although the hugging to the chest part is optional.

Thanks to Alma Books for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★.5

Trying out something new-ish,

2011-07-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

As the title suggest, this is me, doing some different. No, this totally wasn't inspired by lazyness at all ... You're probably guessing what this new and shiny idea is. Well, you're probably not, but whatever. Also, I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. Which it won't. Yeah, that's not the new thing. The new thing is that you can get penguin flavoured ice-cream, made with real penguins; and by that I mean people in penguin suits! Not really. The real new thing is ...

Mini-Reviews!

(*insert sparkly announcer music here*)

I guess I should try and fix the layout first ...

Oh come on, don't expect me to come up with something completely original. Or, like anything, you know, good. Anyhow, since I'm growing old here, the first of two, maybe three, but most likely zero reviews is a guilty pleasure series of mine, meaning that I've just caused several people to bash their heads in with disappointment. I'm not entirely sure why, but whatever. Perhaps I should go help them? Hmm.

Now, it's also very likely that this reviews will be in no way short, nor good, but hey.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa (and illustrated by Noizi Ito).

In the second installment of this quirky, amusing and insanely popular series, Haruhi revokes Kyon's free will and forces him to become her whipping boy once again. Haruhi then decides that James Cameron has become too comfortable on his throne of fame and fortune, and whips it out from underneath him. Yes, that's right! She's going to become a director! And inadvertently becomes a dictator in the process. She then forces her menagerie of supernatural followers to assist, and suddenly, cats can talk, maids can shoot a selection of damaging things out of their eyes, and stuff happens! All while this happens, Kyon doubles his quota of sarcastic narration, Yuki bites people, Mikuru is abused, Koizumi stands there and looks pretty and all of this comes as no surprise. (I wrote this. Now you know the reason why I never write my own summaries for books. They suck.)

Or something like that.

If one doesn't know about my strange, perverse love for the series, almost as strange and perverse as the series itself, then one is living in a hole. I recommend hibernating in carpets, occasionally, but not holes. But what I recommend at this moment in time, is that you climb up out of your current spot, and go and read this book. The method you attain by does not bother
me, as long as you eventually flick open a copy and give it a chance. Why do I recommend I you walk away from the spot you've been warming since January, you ask. Because this series, is incredibly amusing. The second installment, which I sit here and type about today, was not quite as amusing as the first one, but still retained an air of satirical, snarky spastic spasticness due to Kyon's freshly cynical narrative.

One thing I like about this series, and therefore this book is how it twists a previously overused, unoriginal idea into something entirely new, drops it in context and makes it awesome in one way or another. It does it frequently, as according to Haruhi's whims and it all lies in the execution. Some things are weaved subtly into the story (such as Haruhi and co's abilities ... in fact, common ideas saturate the plot so much that I can't even begin to describe them), whereas somethings aren't handled quite so carefully. Somethings just feel as if they were ploinked there for humour or something. You know, things like Mikuru being sexually harassed every once in a while.

But in the end, I don't think any of this matters. After all, Haruhi always proves a delightful romp. Constantly enjoyable and refreshing, despite it's flaws. Plus, you know, pretty pictures.

★★★★

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

A curious young girl with a name that no one can seem to pronounce is bored. Fortunately, when she is bored, the world is not under the threat, as she has a new house to explore. It's very possibly crumble down around her ears, and the other tenants are as strange as they come but it's redeeming feature is the mysterious door that leads to a shiny, amusing world, where cats can converse (cats with functioning vocal chords seemed to be a staple of today's reviews, no?) and everything is exciting. Well, for a while, as this mystical world starts to distort into something much smaller, scarier and dark than the world where she came from. So basically it's like last year's film resume! (I wrote this. This is why I never write summaries.)

The world, that is. The book itself isn't nearly as dark and dreary. Coraline is a book that doesn't really deserve words. It deserves so much better; flowers, shrines, oceans of incensed worshippers. Now, those unfamiliar with the books details will be wondering what such a slim volume achieved to make me bestow this praise upon it. Well, for one thing, Coraline is creepy. It grabs some average fairy tale conventions, and then it distorts them into something completely different. Fear not, different being a good word here. From what was originally a overused, heart warming template dragging it's feet through numerous pieces of fiction, Coraline was born. Completely original, completely entertaining and completely terrifying. No, honestly, shivers must have been using my spine as some kind of bridge while I was reading this. It's not that the events themselves are particularly creepy, and that is a lie because some of the stuff that goes down is genuinely frightening, but the atmosphere that surrounded the story, the 'be careful what you wish for', 'trust nobody' atmosphere added to it, and invited paranoia in for a cup of tea.

The writing was fairly simple, but flowed smoothly, and felt very dignified all throughout. Coraline was a fantastic heroine, very resourceful and snarky, refreshing and full of life. She developed throughout the story. Same goes for all of the other characters; they were what kept the book walking. Their scheming, backstabbing ways were the books method of transport. Like car, but with less carbon emissions, and more emissions of evil and failure and ... suckidge. However, they weren't particularly developed, and most of the background characters were simply pretty plot devices or quirky statues, like the three ghost children or the inhabitants of the house. Either way, they all served there purpose well and were like-able while doing it. I don't know what they are like when they aren't doing their jobs. Maybe they sit and watch movies about penguins together. BUT ANYWAY.

What I intended to get across with this review is that instead of reading this, you should be reading Coraline. It's a wonderful book, and has something to satisfy everyone. Mild horror? Yup. Interesting and like-able characters? Sure, why not. Nicely crafted plot? Yarrrrp. Calm, pretty narrative? Oui. Should you read it? This, enquirer is a idiotic question. Of course you should. You should tell your friends to read it. Your friends should tell their friends to read. Those friends of friends should tell foreign delinquents to learn how to read, and then read it. I read it, I enjoyed it, and I hope so will you, as well.

★★★★.5

Well, that's it for now. If anyone ever bothers to read this, and bothers to respond, then I might make more. I probably will.

Review: Full Metal Panic! 1 by Shouji Gatou

2011-06-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

... and illustrated by Shikidouji. I don't know who it was translated by, sorry. This probably doesn't make sense, but hey. I'll fix it later.

Jindai High School was a relatively safe place, right up until Sousuke Sagaka transferred there. A total nut, he wreaks havoc on the school's student body and gets into a world of trouble with the teachers! But there's more to Sousuke than meets the eye--not just a hell-raising student, he's actually a member of an elite military unit, on an undercover mission to protect the beautiful schoolgirl Kaname Chidori from the KGB. Discover the mystery as this comedy-action-science-fiction story unfolds! (I believe I pinched this from amazon.com. Given my track record, you probably believe this too.)

Now. Although I'm not particularly talented in the art of telepathy, I know what you're thinking. You're looking at your monitor with a disappointed expression, while you give a few subtle sighs of dismay. You're thinking something along the lines of don't inflict your misguided taste in literature on us! Perhaps you intend to fetch your sharpest gardening implements. Well, I say, from my position underneath the garden implement deflecting carpet, I'm sure that you'll be surprised to know that despite the cover, and the summary, this book isn't all that bad. On the contrary, I enjoyed it quite a lot. Why? Because, believe it or not, this book is good. Oh, don't look so surprised. And pick up your passed-out friend. It also has giant robots in it, and that might have been why it caught my roaming fangirly eye. Which is why I shall be mentioning infrequently the phrase GIANT ROBOTS. On a slightly unrelated note, it should be made apparent that this book has great multi-demographic appeal; giant robots, violence and other slightly manly or what I discern manly things to be, served along with a lighter, slightly more female oriented romantic comedy and other stuff that girls are stereotypes to like. Of course, everyone could just read it for the giant robots.

Now. Which is approximately five minutes after the last now, and my seventh minute under the carpet. I think someone just walked over me. I hope they don't decide to spit on me. Anyhow. This book comes with a selection of positive traits, such as it's skillful build up of the tension in suspenseful scenes, the subtle balance between action and comedy, an interesting concept with a few good ideas thrown in for good measure, some bouncy dialogue, and a narrative that was a bit like those sticky things that people lay down in museums that insects view as death traps and obviously avoid, which leaves said contraptions full of addled elderly women. I'd like to blame this on the government. Anyhow. I think I was talking about something. Oh yes, the book. Now, if one were to total up the amount of things that make reading Full Metal Panic! an enjoyable experience, then you would come up with a result larger than a large country's budget, the amount of lakes said country has, and the people intending to swim in them this summer. Needless to say, you come up with a rather large sum. I've forgotten what that metaphor was about now, so I'll just say that reading Full Metal Panic! was like curling up into a ball and resolving never to resurface ever again; highly satisfying, but not particularly ever-lasting. Somewhat like giant robots.

Now. Now is the time that came after the previous now, and it is the my sad and dreary duty to inform you of this books flaws. And there are some really prominent flaws. I may have mentioned that this book is about giant robots/mecha. Or rather, it isn't. We hardly get any explanation of the mech that is used, and the 'theme' of the book saturates about 14 pages. I suppose this isn't a flaw, as much a personal nitpick, because I wanted to see some violent mech fights. DON'T ASK ME WHY. In addition to that, the plot was overall quite simplistic, and many, if not all of the slightly less important, background characters were thrown into the pit where the side characters of The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove reside, brawling over scraps of personality, as they have none of there own. Full Metal Panic's characters were also like this, having very little development or distinguishing traits, which is why they are currently standing in the middle of the pits with gormless expression on their faces. A bit like zombies or your average tourist.

Now that I mentioned the characters who are currently fighting to their death a la Battle Royale, I will now talk about the other meat. I mean main characters, with layers and such. Sousuke, Sōsuke, or whatever romanisation you choose to utilize which doesn't particularly matter because however you spell it it may sound the same. Some kind of special agent, child soldier, mech pilot, trying to add perfectly ordinary high school student to his resume, Sōsuke was the kind of character that, despite his many short-comings, you can't help but like. I liked partially due to his socially inept awkwardness, which caused me to make noises like awwww and dwww while laughing my head off simultaneously. In retrospect, I must have sounded like a faulty refrigerator. Anyhow, his awkwardness added to his adorability. Sousuke also had the disadvantage of having really bad luck. And by really bad luck, I mean the kind of luck that people who continually get into train crashes, constantly are the victims of credit card fraud, and on top of that, once a week they have to run away from hungry loan sharks. It is this very bad luck that causes every single scenario, plan, action, slight movement of the pinky finger to go horribly wrong, make him look as idiotic as possible and give his slight screw up some larger implication in the long run. It was like fate was abusing him for it's own sadistic enjoyment. Anyhow. Overall, Sousuke made nicely layered character, with plenty of development over the story (goes from stiff, stuffy work-devoted hairbrush to a more passionate, slightly more caring comb).

Kaname was your average school girl, because apparently in Japan it is the norm for average school girls to have blue hair and demeanour's like a plate of three day old donuts soaked in concrete; tough and angry on the outside, by the soft, gooey jam inside remains in good tact. Either way, as a person so important to the series, she didn't get too much development. In fact, I have very little understanding of her actual role in the novel. She was an interesting(ish) character to have around, but she could really use some fleshing out. Now, onto Gauron, a villain who posed an actual threat. In fact, I actually found myself backing into corners and covering myself with a pile of blankets when he entered the scene. It must have been because his actions were so reminiscent of something real terrorists would partake in. Also, apparently he has a mortality rate a bit like a rubber band, because he will not just bloody die. Anyhow. An excellently realistic villain, corrupt and convenient, with some pretty dark ties with our main protagonist.

Now. It has been a while since the previous now. An assortment of unfortunately heavy creatures have just tramped over me. I wish said heard of cows would have more consideration for the people sheltering underneath the places they step when they step on them. Actually, the topics that I need to inform you off are a bit like that. An assorted mix of sweets, not stepped on. We were talking about sweets, right? Anyhow, we have three vaguely unrelated topics to discuss today, and they are very important. The relationships between the characters, my favourite of those characters and this third thing right here is a lie. Since the relationships in the book, or how I interpreted them, purpose was to humanize Sousuke (or, at least make him less soldier like; of which I don't really see the point, I mean, he didn't have a buzz cut), they were all really ... sweet, whether they had more depth than a shower, or actually went anywhere. Some were just used for comedic affect, but damn if they didn't work. Now onto my favourite character; Kurz, the lovable lech, although love-able is pushing it a bit. I liked him the most purely because of his idiocy, his hair, and his relationship with Sousuke. His idiocy was incredibly endearing (at times), his hair is nice and shiny and pretty and his relationship with Sousuke tugged at my heartstrings, as an totally unofficial shipper of the pairing, I read quite a lot into it. In fact, I was most likely hallucinating when I envisioned most of the actions between them. I will not elaborate, but they didn't quite fit in with the nature of the novel ...

Overall, Full Metal Panic! is a lot like candy; incredibly enjoyable at the time, but when analysed may caused your brain to melt into an some variety of industrial gloop, and then it will drip out of your ear and set out to create a name for itself in the continent. Sweets do that, no? What I was trying to imply that this book is a guilty pleasure, but it still managed to be rather good at the same time. It may not be for everyone, but I certainly enjoyed it. If one looks past the unorthodox summary and the brightly coloured cover, and the fact that it costs around fifty, thousands pounds to buy ... then it's quite likely that you might enjoy it. And besides, if one isn't satisfied with the book itself, there are also the pretty, pretty pictures. Now. I can finally crawl out from under this carpet.

☆☆☆☆

Review: The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove by Lauren Kate

2011-06-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

I had to write a report on this book, so now I just kinda look at it with contempt whenever I encounter it. And it stares right back. Again, this will likely not make any sense. That is because it comes from the inner workings of my mind.

A steamy Southern beauty makes one fatal mistake. Natalie Hargrove would kill to be her high school's Palmetto Princess. But her boyfriend Mike King doesn't share her dream and risks losing the honor of Palmetto Prince to Natalie's nemesis, Justin Balmer. So she convinces Mike to help play a prank on Justin. . . one that goes terribly wrong. They tie him to the front of the church after a party—when they arrive the next morning, Justin is dead. From blackmail to buried desire, dark secrets to darker deeds, Natalie unravels. She never should've messed with fate. Fate is the one thing more twisted than Natalie Hargrove.

The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove, before and after the success of Fallen, been kind of disregarded. I consider it to be Fallen's bratty little sister, who, due to be being constantly ignored over the years have pushed her so far of the edge you could build a village in the space between them. However, TBONH may have some qualities that it's older sister may not. Which is why, if it doesn't attempt to snap all of my fingers like twigs, I will attempt to assist you with your psychological problems, TBONH, because for some strange, mysterious until I choose toe reveal it reason, I enjoyed listening to your problems more than I enjoyed Fallen's problems. Now, please refrain from throwing stuff at me, as I've felt an increase in the items deflecting off of my window since I last posted something. Anyhow, review/therapy session.

In the beginning, I was starting to lose faith in humanity. And apparently so had the book - it had reverted to the standard high-school backstabbery plot, before the book had even begun. But this was quickly remedied by the much darker turn the book decided to take, in order to show case that wonderful plot it has. I favour books that decide to murder unsuspecting victims within the first hundred pages; it has a refreshingly careless feel to it (that, however, is not the case with you, book about pet snakes; everything here was executed with a flourish, just as planned). The plot's quite a twisted little beast, with a fair amount of knots in it's stomach. But be careful, as suddenly the book has turned from Fallen's obnoxious sibling into it's aged pet snake, if it slivers away from you, then you will have a hard time catching up. Tossing that extended metaphor into that snake's cage, because I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be giving therapy, not trying to make people's brain melt out of their ears due to confusion. It has a good plot and rattles along at a good pace.

However, the plot and it's tag-along pace is not the best part of this book. Why, pet snake/younger sibling book, you look surprised. No, the best part of this book was Natalie's narrative. Within a few sentences, I had a complete grasp of Natalie's character, could fill a dictionary with the amount of smart remarks that had been pushed about and was gripped enough to not notice if a wild boar was giving birth right beside me. (It wasn't, but it would have been interesting if it was, though.) .) It tied the book together perfectly, and had the narrative been even slightly different, I doubt I would've enjoyed the book considerably less. Oh dear. Now the book is holding me at gun point. Please calm down.

The narrative isn't the only book strong point, no, so please, please, please, remove that gun from my head. You don't need to shoot me, book/pet snake, you have a wonderful setting, which, like quite a few other things contained within its pages, could become clichéd had it not been in this book. Now that I think of it, a high school for the elite (and the wealthy surrounding area - Palmetto) does sound very clichéd, even when the cleaning staff clean the floor with lies and the energy is generated by the ever running rumour mill. I can hear you groaning; I'd ask you to stop, for that lethal weapon edges closer to my head every groan you make. Less clichés, however, was the un-air-conditioned redneck haunt; the trailer park of Cawdor, which the plot decided was full of cock roaches and decided to neglect until the latter half of the book. I'd pity it, if it didn't smell so much. Anyhow, what I enjoyed most about the setting was the contrast between them, the rivalry between the rich and the poor and how the societies were slowly flowing into each other. The two peoples all came from the same place really, deep down, and that place has made them rotten.

And by that, I mean that was not a single kind character in this book, with any kind of positive ideals. It appears that the book has gone off the deep end. Um, excuse me while I relocate to where it can't find me. That said, just because there was nothing particularly like-able about the main characters, doesn't mean that they were cardboard cut outs with functioning legs and working tongues. No, Natalie was exactly the opposite; she had bucket loads of personality, was completely despicable, and sometimes her legs stopped working due to fear! If she were a hiker, then she would be at the top of Mount Everest. But she would be alone, as she's already sacrificed her companions in order to reach the top. She was incredibly mean (my example here is how the book keeps attempting to kill me - and how she attempted to ruin a guys life, which resulted in a serious crime, was openly spiteful ... the list could encompass Long Island.), twice as driven (she was very enthusiastic to cover said serious crime up, and this book really does want to murder me.), and probably wasn't intended to be halfway like-able. If that what was the author's desire, then it certainly made a nice pie. Yet, she was a deeply layered character; her development, or leap off the deep end if you prefer to describe it that way, was very compelling. Now, while I pretty much accused her of being the bitchiest character since the word bitchy was invented by one of my less creative predecessors, she had a very good reason for that. Although, I did have a hard time hating her with all of my heart. The frosty barrier she puts up is prevent the collateral damage garnered from a crappy childhood leaking out and causing irrational and unexpected storms across the world. That's not to say that she isn't just naturally horrible. No, her superiority complex may have been a recent additions, but that attitude has always been there, festering, rearing it's head when a situation struck.

There's really only two more character significant enough to mention, as the others feel fault to the cardboard disease I mentioned and since only the rich and spotlighted can afford the cure of character development, they stayed like that. In fact, character development (or lack thereof) was this books most prominent fault. Oh dear, I can hear the book and it's psychotic weapons again. They must be nearby. Side characters to scramble over the few shallow traits they had between them, before their names and faces blended into each other. Anyhow. I first thought that Mike, Natalie's beloved boyfriend, was one of these characters. He's not the kind of character who really stands out on a page, not anything particularly interesting about him. Weak-willed and cowardly, he allows Natalie to walk all over him while he makes dull, amiable conversations with the side characters, pretending he had nothing to do with Natalie's crime, and ultimately running from the consequences. As the book went on, he got more like-able, while Natalie got less like-able. He started to develop a spine towards the end of the book, but the other characters were too busy walking over him to notice. Now, that other important character. Oh yes, Justin. He was probably the most amusing character, and given the opportunity to flourish, he would've been the most interesting. And then he died. Which was sad, but that is the very reason he is important. Either way, he amused me, and showed promise even when he was unaware of the fact that his days were numbered. That is all.

There were relationships in this book, but all were pretty standard for the genre, and that leaves the complete lack of trust in some characters, and the utter reliance on trust between other characters as my sole subject. But that speaks for itself, and since back stabbing between the characters is pretty much enforced, I'm instead going to rattle on about something that only just occurred to me. This apparently angered our book, as it's currently roaring. I never knew snakes could roar. Anyhow, it was only after I had finished this book that I realised that it was a modern retelling of Macbeth. I did not know this until after I had finished the book, and at least two people had informed me of the fact. There's a few liberties taken with plot, here and there, but otherwise was pretty faithful. I hesitate to call it an adaption, though, as I totally didn't notice anything other than the few similarities that the book throws around, such as the chapter titles and such. The books stands up perfectly on it's own.

Well. It appears that the book itself has found me, judging from the sounds of the chain saw I hear now. Overall, I found this book to be most enjoyable. A good mystery for those in the story, a good psychological session for those on the outside of the pages. Gripping, fast-paced, nicely-narrated, I recommend that you pick this up. The bouncy, springy characters put a new spin on a tired, over-rotated concept. And if that's not enough to convince you, then you are truly cruel. This book may kill me, and your reading of it could save me yet. It's worth it, I promise you, I say as crawl into a drain pipe. I enjoyed it, and I hope you can too.

Thanks to Random House for sending me a copy.

★★★★

Review: Crusade by Linda Press Wulf

2011-05-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Robert: Left on the steps of a church as a baby, Robert was often hungry but never stole food like the other orphans in town. Introverted and extraordinarily intelligent, he knew all the Latin prayers and hymns by heart by the time he was five years old. Georgette: Her own mother died in childbirth, leaving Georgette with a father who, seventeen at the time, had neither experience nor aptitude as a nurturing parent, and a brother known in town as Le Fuer - The Spitfire - for his terrible temper. Perhaps to replace something missing from their own lives, both Robert and Georgette are drawn to the news of a crusader, twelve or thirteen, no older than themselves, travelling down through France with thousands of followers - all, unbelievably, children too. Of those thousands, this is the incredible story of two. A story of hardship, loss and of love. (Grabbed this from amazon.co.uk. What a surprise.)

After immensely enjoying the author's other book, I figured that I should read this book. I knew I had it, some terribly kind publishers had sent it to me, but one first inspection, I seemed to have misplaced it. It was only after several thorough investigations that I unearthed it, near the top of my tumbling review pile, covered in dust. Because I am talking about myself, being the least co-ordinated person born this century, I accidental sent them all flying onto my foot with some totally unnecessary theatrics. I'm not sure how it got there, as I got it almost three days earlier. But was the book worth the hype I built up upon my search, and the pain collision that my foot experienced? Well, partially.

If there is one thing I require people to know about me, it is the fact that I absolutely adore historical fiction, in any form what so ever. Whether they be trashy romances or eye-opening accounts, it's assured that I will enjoy it in some way. If one can do simple mathematics, then one will have figured out that while I did enjoy this book, I was not completely blind to it's somewhat going flaws. No, I was simply a little short sighted! And since I haven't set foot into an opticians in the last free years, I am going to remain a little Short sighted, throughout this review. Hopefully, I will still be able to see the keys. I will now proceed onto some positive things about this book. But first, you will have to follow the path, and you must ignore the temptations that the floors keep spreading on themselves. But first I must crawl through the ceiling and drop down onto a clean spot of the floor, where the following positive paragraph will make it's home and grow it's garden.

So, one of the positive seeds I found was the setting. I do not recall ever having read a book revolving around the Children's Crusade, and the only other time I'd ever heard of the event was the time that someone offhandedly mentioned that the Crusade resulted in the deaths of most of the participants. Anyhow, with that in mind, I started to pour through this book, just like the paragraph is trying to pour seeds into it's garden, and I wondered, when the characters set forth on their journey with their possessions on their shoulders and their small jar of collective misgiving stored in places you'd probably rather not know of. I was curious to know how the author would handle the situation where I had been informed that they all died. When I cam around to reading it, I was surprised as to how well the author sent most of the characters to their deaths. Or at least, that's one of the possibilities that Wikipedia listed. Predictably, the protagonists weren't bundled onto a ship to be sold as slaves. Although I can see why the author didn't pack them away with the other idiots, or crusaders, or slaves, and I understand that she may have done that in order to provide a happier ending. But then again, it could just be slightly lazy writing, but I can't blame the author, however much I'd like to see a heart-wrenching ending as the boat crashes into the rocky coast of an island of Sardinia, and everyone drowns and it'd be totally romantic and no, I did not watch Titanic last night, no, no, not at all. I watched How to Train your Dragon. Dragons. That's what this book is missing.

Somewhat akin to Press Wulf's other book, the plot was a bit like a mountain hiker. It strolled along at it's own pace, as hikers generally do, even if they are being targeted by rain, snow, flying rocks, dragons, pieces of what was previously were there hiking friends and other such pleasant things. Never the less, that hiker is determined to reach the top. And even when they find some kind of troubling obstacle, that diligent hiker will find some way over it, even if it involves eating their own foot. And then, they will get to the top. Only for that hiker to have rocks thrown at them. Poor hiker. Now that I think of it, that's the only way I can describe the plot of Crusade, the characters of Crusade, and Crusade itself. Persevering. Not that you need to persevere, because the pace of the plot keeps up a steady run throughout. It's like the jog you wish you fantasies about, when you've stopped five metres away from the place where you started that jog.

That said, while the plot does seem all nice and good, but what controls everything in Crusade is the characters. More specifically, how they develop. Like how Georgette slowly alternates from the naive, sweet, average historical every girl to a somewhat stronger, slightly more interesting and mature variation of the previous traits. However, she had a certain lack of interesting traits. And flaws, now that I think of it. I like to think that every time the Children stopped their crusade to drain people's resources, Georgette was not eating food, but she was eating maturity. And whenever something catastrophic occurred, such as death of a love one, or attempted sexual harassment, that maturity came out of her ears to form giant robots. Um. I believe I was supposed to be talking about that other character. Robot. I mean Robert. Robotbert was slightly more interesting than Georgette, and I enjoyed his back story a whole lot more as a whole. I liked how he started of as a mole, of sorts, for an oily priest, a social outcast. His development is that he opens up and become loyal to people other than that slippery priest. Now, did I like this as much? This may sound a little strange, but I did not like that. In fact, his development made me feel very sad, and this is partially due to something that it resulted in. I'll explain that later, but right now I'd like to talk about Stephen.

The author must've been feeling rather clever, or perhaps fancied herself something of a tricksters, or perhaps the people at the publishing house like to see readers struggle over how the character relationships wandered away from expectations and took a train to somewhere entirely different. And no, for those of your with minds similar to mine, that doesn't involved Stephen and Robotbert hooking up. Here, have a tissue. I needed one too. Anyhow, Stephen was the supposed prophet, and subsequently something of a pretentious ... sheep. And despite his infuriating treatment towards woman and his general idiocy in general, I found his character to be the most entertaining. I liked his interactions with Robert, and the strange, love/hate relationship I like to imagine they have. I didn't like his interactions with Georgette, and this is where the above rant resumes. The blurb, and very early parts of the book imply that Georgette is going to end up with Stephen. Except from, she doesn't. And no, Robert doesn't either. Three guesses to who they do end up with. No, not a tree. Georgette and Robert end up together. And I suppose, that is a happy ending - they genuinely love each other, or so the book tells me.

That said, I must admit to not really enjoying the romantic scenes very much. I felt that they were a slightly rushed and the whole relationship was left slightly undeveloped. I hated how Georgette became even meeker, and how Robotbert became more open and to an extent, rather selfish. They plummeted along faster than the winning horse at the Grand National, and as a result of that, there was a certain lack of development. There were plenty of opportunities for them to um, 'deepen their relationship', but their early conversations, pre-relationships conversations, they were just conversations. They felt so empty. If you were to swap a supposedly meaningful chat with a chat regarding the psychopathic nature of fried eggs, then everything would be exactly the same.

But anyway. Overall, Crusade is an interesting book with a fast pace and realistic characters, a lacklustre romance taking place in a fascinating and unusual setting. I enjoyed it, but it didn't quite live up to my expectations. I'd recommend it, if you enjoy this kind of things, because the people throwing rotten vegetables at my window tell me that it's something of an acquired taste. Or perhaps they're just throwing them because they know about the quality of this review. Perceptive, those murderous rioters.

Thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me a copy to review.

☆☆☆.5

Review: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa

2011-05-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

... And with illustrations from Noizi Ito. They're very cute. I don't know why, but there is something ever so fulfilling about reading a book with both prose and pictures.

Or, if you prefer, The Reviewing of Haruhi Suzumiya. Hahaha, please don't hit me.

When Haruhi Suzumiya introduces herself to Kyon by asking if he's an alien, time traveler, or psychic, he knows his chances for a normal high school experience are ruined. Bold Haruhi takes a shine to him, and uses the force of her irrepressible personality to draft him into her club to find paranormal beings. Kyon soon discovers what she's looking for: Haruhi herself has the power to destroy and create entire universes at her whim. But if she knew about her ability, it could spell disaster for everyone. (While somewhat edited, this summary comes from amazon.co.uk. I guess that didn't surprise you. But I do know what will! Pasta!)

My first encounter with this book took place on a rainy afternoon in New York, in a quickly diminishing book shop. There was nothing particulalrly strange about the event, I was simply strolling through the deserted shelves when I caught sight of this book. I then proceeded to issue a squee loud enough to wake the snoozing shop assistants. While they did wake up, they did not give me that strange, irritated look I intended to steal from them. No, I was only indulged that look when I showed up at the counter with approximately half of their manga section piled beneath this book, with my entire life savings account in toe. I waited until I had left the shop until I cracked the book open. I turned out, it kept my attention in an iron grip. Wherever I was, whether I'd be reading it on the train, on the plane, in the hotel room, in various locations of cultural immersion, I was always amused.

If you are to believe me, then I suppose I should give you the reasons as to why this book was amusing, and why my hands were seemingly ductaped to the pages. Although, if a book regarding a girl with some strange ideas and equally strange powers and her intrigued, abducted, beleaguered followers conducting odd shenanigans doesn't quite appeal to you, then you are probably mad. Was it perhaps the plot? Although it breezed along in record time, the plot had quite a standard structure. Or how about the concept, asks the person pressing me for answers. While quirky and very well executed, a book can't rely on the concept to carry itself through. That's a bit like asking an ant to carry an elephant. That would be amusing, I imagine. The ant might have to apply for spinal surgery. Anyway, speaking of questions, why are you asking me them? If one is slightly curious to know, what made me so enamoured of this book was Kyon's narrative. Sometimes, I hear people pining over smart, snarky narratives. If one is ever in need of one of those, then I suggest you pick this book up. A snappy remark is almost guaranteed for every ludicrous yet amusing and quite often illegal situation Haruhi comes up with. And, I trust you believe me, it is glorious.

However, the narrative isn't this only books merits. No, it actually has a few other pieces of artillery neatly tucked away in it's wings. Of which I shall sit here and think of, with an expression of contempt on my face, because I feel like it. Ahh! An idea just had the audacity to drop onto my head. Although I mentioned the plot is structured quite like a ladder, that's not to say that it is entirely simple. No, sometimes ladders break, or sometimes, they grow extra steps because they would just hate to see the victorious grin on your face when you finally reach that light bulb. Haruhi's plot was a little like the devious ladder. It works the setting - an average Japanese high school - to it's advantage. While everything appear normal at first glances, second glace proves it to be anything but, and third glances should tell you to get the hell out of there before something strange happens. This is the perfect setting to spring something unexpected on you, at a purely unexpected moment. And spring stuff on you at unsuspected moments it certainly does. By the end of the book, you've had metric tons of unsuspected twists chucked onto your head, and given the witty way it's executed, you'll probably enjoy it.

This might sound a little perculier, but the characters are both this books greatest pleasure and it's largest downfall. While the characters were a joy to read about, some of them were left completely undeveloped. While they all had distinct personalities, people who weren't Haruhi or Kyon and to some extent, Nagato, didn't really have much attention centered towards them, and therefore very little development. But I digress. Abundance of development, or lack thereof, the characters were fun to read about, and all very diverse. Haruhi, who strangely enough, is not the protagonist, was something like an army commander in her methods, and a walking acid trip in her imagination, all topped off with an extremely irritated (and to some, irritating) attitude. I'm a little scared to admit, but I didn't immediately take to Haruhi, and by the end of the book, my opinion had been ricocheting between sub-par and that level just above sub-par. Why? Because she was selfish, pompus and somewhat bratty. I am willing to admit that it made her more of a well-rounded character, though. Oh, and I am leaving out her relevant ... abilities. Kyon was, as I had previously mentioned, a snarky, straight man with a no nonsense personality but unfortunately has to accept nonsense, otherwise the world will blow up. Why? Because Haruhi would become unamused. Anyhow, he was most definitely like able. Between Haruhi and himself, there was enough depth to contain the entire Indian Ocean.

Now, I may have mentioned that there were some lesser developed but nonetheless important characters. There's Yuki Nagato, the silent (ironically, she doesn't open her mouth very often, but when she does she keeps it open longer than all of the characters lifespans put together and multiplied by the amount of times this review will go off topic) bookworm from outerspace, or a lab, or some place run by a Data Overmind, which may be in a lab outerspace. I did like Yuki, yes, and am not just saying that because if I express the slightest amount of distaste for her I risk being stabbed by an army of forks, but apart from being the (probably, anyway) most badass character in the book, I don't really have much to say here. Which is why I intend to adjust the spot light onto Itsuki Koizumi, the eternally cheerful guy fulfilling 'mysterious exchange student' archetype that Haruhi was fixated on. Up his sleeves he keeps the ability to use ESP (and no, I will not be discussing what I suspect the nature of this ability is today, moving on.) and an extremely camp demeanour. By this point, I feel like I should mention that, despite having the least development out of the main characters, Koizumi is my favourite. And no, this has absolutely nothing to do with his voice actors in the anime, no, no, not at all. There's also Mikuru Asahina, the weak willed girl who Haruhi abducted on the pretense of her being moe and particularly fun to dress up in demeaning costumes. She's also very well endowed. Oh, and she's also a time-traveller. Now, Mikuru is probably one of the most irritating characters, due to her being very weak-willed, but I do admit it was amusing to see her being harassed by Haruhi. Between my sadistic giggles, I almost felt sorry for her. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT.

Now, if there is one thing that Haruhi thrives on, it's the relationships between the characters. Hell, without the characters interacting, then the book would just kind of be ... Kyon staring at his desk, making non-descript comments about it. Given his narrative, I'm sure he'd definitely make his observations interesting, but whatever. Haruhi and Kyon had some kind of a love-hate relationship, and were an awesome comedic duo when the situation called for it. They also had solid chemistry between them, while the other characters shared shaky connections and interactions with each other if any at all. That said, everyone's relationship with Kyon was very interesting - Nagato seemed very enthusiastic to protect him in her trademark emotionless way, while Kyon was slightly unnerved by her, at the beginning, but when paired together, they make quite the adorable couple. Koizumi made it quite clear that he um, rather likes Kyon, while not being entirely mutual, was interesting to read about and Mikuru probably receives more affection than Haruhi on many, but not all, levels. What was quite remarkable is that people weren't fighting over Haruhi, as people may eventually do in some western YA novels. No, everyone was fascinated by her strange antics, but it was really Haruhi lusting over both Kyon and Mikuru, with Kyon lusting over Haruhi and Mikuru, Mikuru lusting over Kyon and the shrinking chance of freedom. Quite different from your two debatably sexy guys brawling over a girl as interesting as a lamp post.

That out of my mouth, out of the monitor and out of the window, Haruhi does bear a lot of similarities to other western supernatural novels. While it definitely smells like a not so average slice of life comedy anime with some other things thrown in, it also combined many YA supernatural tropes, and to some extent, parodies them. I guarantee you, that if you were to take any book of the Supernatural shelf in the YA section of your nearest bookshop, flip the gender roles, send the plot to a mental asylum and sprinkle in some pretty interspersed illustrations, then you might get something similar to this novel. AND THIS IS A VERY GOOD THING INDEED.

Well, I deem it a suitable time to end the twaddle this review has become. I did evidently enjoy this book, for all of it's flaws and all of it's merits. Boiled down to the simplest way I can put it, it's a wacky, fantastical adventure plummeting along with the pace of a rocket and a cast of characters just as interesting. Unless you don't like books about outer space. Or time travel. Or if one dislikes what ESP actually turns out to be. Anyhow, it's almost insured that there will be at least one thing that you'll enjoy, or at least betray a begrudging chuckle at. It may not be for everyone, but I absolutely love it. And unless you all want to be turned into fish food, I suggest you pick it up.

☆☆☆☆.5

I'm now toying with the idea of linking you to the Hare Hare Yukai.

Breathe in, breathe out

2011-05-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

I find that I can breathe very easily, now that I've got the pressue of writing quality material of of my back.

Oh, who am I kidding. I never wrote quality stuff. ^_^

Just a couple of things, for the moment.

Like the layout, for example. I feel like I should change it. What do you guys think? Oh wait, there's no one listening. Well, I think I might change the top banner, anyway. The quality of the image is realllly annoying me. U-_-

Contrary to popular belief, I actually did go to New York. It was biiiiiiig. And shiiiiiny. It was fun. And I bought a lot! I went to the Strand, and the Forbidden Planet, and the Borders, and Barnes and Nobles and other less important places like Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty, a bunch of museams, the Rockerfeller Centre, the Empire State Building, Dunkin' Donuts ... Oh, and it snowed! My hair froze it was so cold! I spilt burger on my hat, and tried to remedy the smell with cheap perfume. It didn't smell too good afterwards.

Anyhow, photographic evidence. Some lizards I saw in Chinatown and the Statue of Liberty. She, like everyone else, was much taller than me.

Yeah, we didn't buy any of 'em. But it would've been cool if we did.

Otherwise, I'll try and keep the reviews coming. Although they may come very veryyyy slowly. Also Templar is being very nice to me and sending me loads of pretty pretty books.

Au revoir.

Blog Tour: A Small Free Kiss in the Dark by Glenda Millard (review and interview)

2011-05-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

Yup, still alive. Blog touring. Accidentally pressing the post button instead of the save button~ Just ignore that.

Two young boys, an old tramp, a beautiful lost dancer and her baby - rag-tag survivors of a sudden war - form a fragile family holding together in the remnants of a fun fair. This is a vivid, poetic story about life in the margins and the power of empathy and imagination to triumph over adversity. Skip's an outsider, a quiet observer. He draws pictures to make sense of the world. He's never fitted in. So he takes to the streets. Life there may be hard, but it's better than the one he's left, especially when he teams up with old Billy. Then come the bombs which leave little Max in his care, and also Tia, the sad dancer, with her sweet baby, Sixpence. Scavenging for food, living on love and imagination...how long can Skip's fragile new family hold out as war grips the city? (For a change of pace, I stole this from allenandunwin.com. Of course, that didn't surprise you at all.)

A Small Free Kiss in the Dark, along with having very long title to type out at any time of the day, was a very pleasant surprise for me. Since it seems my memory is entirely compromised of sugar, and it happens to rain a lot where I live, the synopsis of the book seemed to have melted out of the ears by the time I actually read this book, leaving me with nothing but my own interpretation of the title and enough sugar to fill several tea pots. (My own interpretation was, lamentably, a dull cliched romance revolving around a woman of questionable virtue, if any of you care to know. I'm sure you don't. Except from, you do.) Which is why the actual story was a pleasant surprise, but I'm slightly at a loss as to what I should do with the sugar. Although the books subject matter is anything but pleasant, hardly any dystopian survival stories are, the execution of the story is what makes this book such a pleasant experience. If, you know, a pleasant experience leaves you feeling like you've just been punched in multiple places. Why yes, I am able to utilize other words than pleasant.

As I was understandably mislead, the title implies a romance, or a book regarding women of a questionable nature, what you actually get is a story neatly divided into three parts dystopian survival story, a fraction of a part romance, and the three other parts are made up off diabetes-inducing sweetness that wants to punch me again for dubbing it that. Unlike the wounds the book would like to inflict upon my stomach, the combination of the aforementioned concepts was not a disaster. They blended together smoothly, even if that meant the reader was doomed to feeling happy one minute and like they wanted to sob in a corner the next. Anyhow, I had a box of tissues handy, so I am now willing to talk a little more about the book. Provided that it keeps it's hands to itself.

The plot was fueled not by the character's need for food, unlike many other books set in the lovely holiday destination of after some horrible disaster, but by Skip's desire to keep his friends with him. Not that this was an easy task, between the fact that they are all homeless and inclined to wander off randomly, attempt to dump each other in supposedly safe places randomly, and do other things decidedly less randomly, and the other fact being that this is a dystopian survival story and things going wrong are as inevitable as the sun rising or me running out of things to say and stumbling into non-sequitor as a solution. Yet, unlike my non-sequitur, this is all very self-contained, and doesn't do anything to burden the survival story or the rest of the plot. It just adds something positive when things were beginning to become increasingly bleak.

Of course, the book would probably attempt to make holes in my stomach again if I were to go without mentioning it's unique setting. Because I don't want me stomach to resemble Swiss cheese, I shall talk about the setting. Like many other things in this book, it was odd, but odd in a completely awesome way. An abandoned resort in the middle of no-mans-land. It was also conveniently situated near a beach, and a town. I found it very unlikely, and rather refreshing compared to the dusty wastelands or forests you see in other dystopian novels. When you think of the proximity to the soldiers, then it becomes a whole lot less shiny and quite a bit more creepy. I do commend the characters' for putting up with it, though. I do admit that it took a while for common sense to come and hit me on the head; I was three pages from the end when I realised that they might be in Australia.

In addition too nearly everything else in this novel, the characters were something of an unorthodox bunch. But there all lovable in their own way. Well, some of them. Arguably. Skip was lovable. Excuse the imminent fangirl rave, I shall try and give you some important details while I'm still able. Out of the rag-tag bunch of strange survivors I keep mentioning, Skip made up the 'homeless kid with a tragic past but still somehow manages to be determined and positive I'm not sure how the hell he does that' part. He has a very distinguishable personality and a delightful narrative. Everything flowed along so naturally, tension built up like the homework I'm not doing at the moment, and even the odd bit of humour decided to show it's face. For those of you who have misplaced their brains, then yes, I evidently liked Skip, and for those of you whose brains are still inside their heads, then I recommend you lose them. Anyhow. Skip had a lot of good development throughout the story, which made him all the more like-able, and ultimately quite odd. While his back story itself would be nothing special, the way it was told made it fascinating. Speaking of back story, Skip's experienced an awful lot for a ... twelve year old? In the whole scary scenario, it's very easy to forgot that he's that young.

Of course, there were other characters. I believe I may have mentioned that I liked a few of them too. Max is a prime example. A small, bespectacled boy who manages to become progressively more perceptive as the book went on. Quite adorable, yet still served a purpose and had positive development bestowed on him like a ... giraffe. Billy was cast as the beleaguered mentor who has given up on life, because he has run out of fish and chips. Or something like that. Strangely enough, he remained likable all while given negative development. I suppose that's because his reason was, more or less, justifiable. Ahhh, I see that I'm now left with a subject that I don't real want to talk about. Tia. Despite being mentioned quite frequently in promotional material, like the back of the book, she doesn't really show up very frequently. I suppose that's because she's a significant character in Skip's life. Significant plot device or not, I didn't really like her. I'm not sure if this is just a matter of opinion, but I found that she was irresponsible (yes, leave your child with people you hardly know. That sounds like a brilliant idea! Oh.), a little lacking in the common sense department (yes, let's go dance for these soldiers who you've been warned about! What could go wrong? Oh.), and her back story was kind of ... ambiguous (where exactly did this child come from?). Which, when misspell kind of looks like a Spanish word.

Anyhow. What made the characters all the more interesting was the way they acted towards each other. Max and Skip, Billy and Skip, Tia and Skip to an extent. The relationships between the characters were all very interesting. The ending kind of relies on the relationships to make itself work. Speaking of the ending, it was pretty shocking. Or at least, the certain twist that occurred a little before was, the end of the book was left open for speculation. I have to say, that was a pretty smart move on the part of the author. I'm lost for suggestions as to how it could have ended otherwise, so I'm not going to. I am instead going to forfeit a joke about muffins. Except from, I'm not.

Overall, A Small Free Kiss in the Dark was an excellent read, and to quote my bruises, and quite a few other reviewers, it packs quite the punch. I recommend you all have a look, as the cover is pretty, the characters are awesome, and the plot will never cease to surprise you. These like muffin jokes and giraffes, and unlike my bruises or this books violence against my stomach, are very good things. Or at least, I think they are. I enjoyed this book to ludicrous amounts, and I am certainly not afraid to mention it. In fact, you might too. And besides, even if there aren't radioactive plants, or the mafia involved, it's still a good book.

Thanks to Templar for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★★

And now, the author was kind enough to answer some extremely pressing questions that I felt needed to be answered. Yay~

First of all, can you describe A Small Free Kiss in the Dark in three words?

Tender, blue, hopeful.

ASFKITD has a very unique cast of characters, are they in any way based on/inspired by real people?

I think most humans are innately curious about one another. Why else would we spend so much time and money studying the rich and famous, watching them, reading about them? But the sort of people I’m most curious about are usually the opposite to celebrities. And although none of the characters in ASFKITD are based on real people, Skip, Billy and Tia are inspired by the people in our society who are disadvantaged, discriminated against, neglected or in other ways alienated.

What was your inspiration for A Small Free Kiss in the Dark? (Ugh, sorry, so predictable.)

Please don’t worry about the predictability issue!.. I’m sure the question elicits a broad range of responses every time it’s asked.

Three main things inspired ASFKITD:

A day spent with a man in a factory where he restored old carousels to their former glory. This piqued my interest in using one as a setting for a story. ( Just as a matter of interest - as a direct result of that day and well before I started ASFKITD, I wrote a picture book about a carousel horse. It’s called Lightning Jack and will be published early next year.)

A newspaper headline, ‘Urban Tribes’ made me consider what life would be like for a young, homeless person living alone in a city. I wondered if he/she might join a gang or tribe and how or if this might be helpful and in what ways. I wondered if loneliness or fear might be the catalyst for this relationship or if it might be something else. Something beyond that person’s control.

Later on I read an article about people known as freegans and discovered that, due either to necessity or for ethical reasons, freegans live on what other people waste. Things like food, clothing, furnishings and even accommodation such as derelict buildings. The two topics, urban tribes and freeganism seemed to go hand in hand. I began to write with the idea of a backdrop of unexpected war and the carousel and desolate fun park as a symbols of what war takes away; childhood, pleasure and freedom. In the writing of the book, the fun park became shelter and tribe became family, the thing that held the gang of five together until the very end.

Who's your favourite character to write about? (I totally adored Skip, and Max.)

I do love Max because he’s little and funny and innocent, but my favourite character to write about was Skip, simply because by telling the story in his voice, I felt as though I was able to get a real sense of what went on in his head and his heart and I liked what I found there.

Skip's a really refreshing detour from the typical dark and angsty main character that seems to be taking over the world at the moment - did you write him like that for a reason?

Perhaps Skip’s character comes from a desire to explore difference. I’m curious about people who aren’t typical or don’t see themselves as typical. I was raised in a way that made me feel I was very different to other children my age. Now I’m an adult I realise that at some stage most people have feelings of being different and that difference isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Another reason why Skip isn’t dark and angsty is because I don’t like fads and trends!

Given current-ish events, do you think the world Skip lives in could become reality any time soon?

I think it’s astonishing that there are children who’ve never lived a day of their lives in a country that’s at peace. For those of us who live in relatively safe countries (especially countries that have never experienced war, such as Australia where I live) the thought of invasion by an enemy is usually far from our thoughts. However the possibility is ever present. In ASFKITD I wanted readers to ponder on that possibility of one day living in safety in familiar surroundings and the next of having it all taken away in a matter of hours.

Finally, will there be a sequel? (Please let there be a sequel.)

When I finished writing ASFKITD I had no intention of writing a sequel. That said, I’ve just finished the sixth of a series of books for younger readers and that was only ever going to be one book! It might be slightly weird, but for a long time after I’ve finished a book I still feel somewhat connected to characters I’ve created. (That’s how the series came to be) I ask myself silent questions about what they’re doing, how it will all turn out for them, and (since writing ASFKITD) - is Max’s Mum still alive somewhere out there? In answer to your question...I don’t know if there’ll be a sequel to ASFKITD...not yet anyway, but I’m very, very tempted.

Thanks a lot!

Review: The Amulet of Samarkand (Graphic Novel) by Jonathan Stroud, Andrew Donkin, Lee Sullivan and Nicolas Chapuis

2011-04-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Nathaniel, a young magician’s apprentice, has revenge on his mind. Desperate to defy his master and take on more challenging spells, he secretly summons the 5000-year-old djinni, Bartimaeus. But Bartimaeus’s task is not an easy one – he must steal the powerful Amulet of Samarkand from Simon Lovelace, a master magician of unrivalled ruthlessness and ambition. Before long, Bartimaeus and Nathaniel are caught up in a terrifying flood of intrigue, rebellion and murder. (Snatched this from amazon.co.uk, I'm sure you'll be surprised.)

Well. It seems that this review won't write itself, so I feel compelled do it for it. Although, I must say that I'm struggling to find the words to express my feelings towards this book. Think of it as a penguins confessing it's love to a polar bear. Since polar bears will devour you if you wake them from their naps, and if you even try and contact them from a very long distance they will devour you, it will be a very daunting task for the poor, addled penguin. This is how I feel about writing this review. For, I adored this comic. Of course, you probably had already estimated that outcome, given some of it's criteria. Demons, comic books, male protagonists who care for each other very deeply ... Well, the last one is somewhat debatable in this particular work, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Now, I will very shaming-ly admit that I have not read the original book. I'm sorry, please keep your tomatoes in your kitchen and your pitchforks in your garden sheds. It was my purse that decided that this series and I would not be compatible with this series, for multiple reason; they were expensive, you dislike fantasy, the covers aren't pretty. When, in fact, my purse was lying to me. (I adore fantasy!) I don't know if you were already aware of this, but I did adore this. And I plan on reading the original book when my purse has a successful harvest, which, okay, may take a while. Anyhow, unless I'm terribly wrong, I do believe that I will be unable to convey the differences between the original work and this. But considering it was adapted by the original author, I can't imagine that their would be that many loyalties taken between the works. Now I will be using normal words.

The art, while not entirely to my taste (but that's not too say that it was blood-from-the-eyes inducing, or should ever be compared to Winston Churchill. Upon later inspection, I found it quite pretty, but shhhhh. Don't tell the colouring.), did do well to tell the story. Although, I did find that it relied a substantial amount on the narrative to carry it through. Speaking of the narrative, I did really enjoy that. Bartimeaus parts, in particular. They were just the right mix of clever remarks and humorous ... humour for him to be entertaining, and gripping. Although I didn't find his parts as enjoyable, Nathaniel's segments were admittedly fairly decent - he was very driven, but he did have his moments of melodrama. And everyone knows that melodrama is about as interesting as the average late-night soap-opera. And no, those aren't interesting, please don't throw irrelevant things at me.

The plot, as first, seems fairly simple. A boy summons a demon in order to demonstrate to his enemy what revenge feels like. But fear not, as the plot fairy pays frequent visits, gifting back-story and sub-plot for your good money! Sounds like a good deal, don't you think? Well, it certainly develops into a good deal; the plot rattles on like a train on oiled tracks. Or something like that. And if you board that train, then beware of the rail tracer. Anyhow, since the plot is not a pressing matter that needs to be fixed, we shall dismiss it with a tick and jump down our list of things that are supposedly important. Since no such list actually exists, I feel inclined to talk about the ending. I really did rather like the ending. Although, I doubt that it will stick. Yes, I am being vague on purpose. I doubt that those count as fancy words.

You know, I think I've run out of things to say about this book. Perhaps my thoughts lie underground, approximately a mile from where I am currently digging. I don't mean to say that I didn't think much of this graphic novel, or that you should push me down that hole, because on the contrary, I had a very high opinion of this certain comic. The art was nice, the writing flowed, pages weren't encompassed by plot holes and the characters were refreshing. Although the concept does seem to be rather common, but compared to the other series I have read regarding this subject, it has a very low levels of angst. That is something that I value overall. And that is why you should read this book. Because it's fun.

Thanks to Random House for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★

Review: The Night of Burning by Linda Press Wulf

2011-04-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry if there are a stupid amount of spelling mistakes, the spell-checked stopped working. :'(
Also, why is the image so small?

The story begins in Poland in 1921, set in a little known period of history - the periods between the World Wars. It's the story of Devorah and her sister, who escape the Night of the Burning in their village during the Jewish pogroms, and their incredible journey to safety, led by philanthropist Isaac Ochberg. Based on a true story, it's a powerful and utterly compelling first-person account of the trauma experienced by a child, and her subsequent journey from despair through to hope. (You don't need to see the future to know that I stole this from amazon.co.uk.)

The first thing I feel compelled to do in this review, is to inform that this book was rather adorable. I mean, it's compromised of other merits, but the ending was so sweet it brought a few tears to my eyes (read as: a body of water larger than The Caspian Sea came flooding out from under my eye lids, and contrary to popular belief, it was not a broken pipe that caused a flood in my house, but my tears.). I'm not sure whether eating churros before bed is a good idea, but I felt that it was so genuinely cute and well-developed that it needed to be mentioned. It felt like the characterisation had finally been developed to it's highest point. Looking back at that previous statement, that sounded really awkward. A bit like turtles trying make small talk with creatures of other species. Which in no way is related to the book. Record time in getting distracted!

It was on one of my perusals of the book store that I came across this book. I had been mining my way under shelves in the YA section when I decided I wanted to see the sunlight again, so I um, shoved the spade through the floor. I surfaced in the 'Recommended by Buyers' shelf. I usually avoid this section of the book shop, because I trust other, anonymous people's opinions in the same way tuna fish trust Polar bears. Anyway, I thought that since I was there I might as well take the opportunity to immerse myself in their battle plans. I mean, opinions. On the corner of the shelf, at the very bottom, I saw this. The recommendation was very hard to distinguish, and I have concluded that it must have been the scribbles of a genius, for I adored this book.

Now, after two pretty much pointless paragraphs of me rambling on about endangered species and what I had for lunch yesterday, I now intend to actually talk about the book. Yes, it surprises me as well. Anyhow. I love historical novels, I have boxes stack full of trashy yet brilliant novels about Henry VIII's forty-fifth wife and several completely ludicrous romances regarding the Italian Unification. It's my dirty little secret. However, I would like a criminal if I classed this book among those other pretty bad but nonetheless enjoyable novels. For this novel was the exact opposite of bad - which is good, to anyone who knows when the lunar calender was created. It had the perfect blend of versatile, fully-formed characters, history and heart-wrenching moments to make me want to applaud the author. I'd offer to frantically bow and drivel at their feet, but I've somehow managed to retain a few shreds of my dignity.

Although I can distinguish one variety of corset from another, I have not gained as much information to say that I know and can prove that this book was historically accurate. And to be quite honest, I enjoyed it too much to care. So now that we've rolled down that hill, I am now going to talk about the book. I know, shock!horror. However much I've been saying this lately, this book mainly relied on the characters growth as they jumped from place to place. The plot, which I cannot say was built like a rabbits warren, or the tube, or any other underground complex that contains so many twists and turns that make navigating it quite complex, did have a rather realistic feel to it. I feel inclined to compare it a bit too one evil person that you know. The one that lives to close to you for your comfort, the one that orchestrated all of those terrible things the befell you, simply because it fulfilled their sadistic whims. But they can also be rather kind whenever they declare it a necessity. That's my impression of the plot.

The writing was marginally simplistic, but it did feel as if it was coming from a girl of that time-period. In addition to that, it flowed like traffic on an empty road. Presumably, there would be a few cars on that road, and it would me constructed of flat, smooth concrete and whatever else roads happen to be made of, because otherwise, my metaphor would be lost. What I am trying to say is that the writing was not one of this books flaws. (In fact, I refuse to admit that those flaws exist. I am biased and proud of the fact.) It felt effortless and had something of a ring to it. The writing and the narrative, that is. Devorah's narrative was full of authentic emotions and actions, making her as a character the whole lot more believable. It's like the cake, except it's no longer a lie. Which I suppose makes it the truth ... Anyhow, the quality of the writing in this book, while not mint, is not far from it. But, I think what really got me was the honesty of it. It was so heart-wrenchingly honest. And yes, I do know that I am being emotional, and no, I have not been abducted by aliens.

Devorah proved to be an interesting character. By the end of the book, I had become rather attached to her. While she was completely devoid of interesting quirks, the way she acted and developed throughout the story made up for that. She felt like a real person, growing up, in a strange, novel-ish manner. Her relationship with her sister, and the other characters mirrored that of an authentic one - after losing nearly everything, it was understandable that she sometimes set foot across the border onto yandere territory. Her reactions and small rebellions, moments of bratiness all added to her charm. I'd likely be a brat if someone tried to take away my sister. Speaking of that sister, I can't really say that I took to her. She was one of those people who took their time growing up, and when they finally did, the result fell somewhere between the Beautiful People and their Snotty Attitude Towards Everyone Else and Previously the Lowest of the Low But We Don't Like to Mention That. To be quite honest, I preferred Nechama in the beginning to the end result.

There were certainly other characters worth mentions, such as Devorah's foster parents, Isaac Ochberg, the Children of the Orphanage, but I would like to give Madame Engel a special mention. I adored her relationship (a word for which I really need to find a synonym) with Devorah. Like almost everything else in this book (well, if you ignore the Night of Burning. Which, surprisingly enough, did not play such a large role in the actual novel. But the part that it did play was predictably harrowing, fascinating, and didn't skimp on the gory details.), it was practically diabetes inducing in it's sweetness. Especially their parting. Anyhow, that's all you're going to get from me about characters and relationships, so I feel inclined to tell you to read the book.

Which is what this paragraph is intended for. I really dislike words that begin with p-a-r, they're very awkward to type. Anyhow, what I meant to say was that although this book is a tad ambitious for a debut (not that there is anything wrong with that. Indeed, I intend to make my debut as ludicrous and ambitious as inhumanely possible. I predict you should tremble in fear at the finished product.), but if this book's purpose was to make me cry, and subsequently worship it as some kind of strange god, then it's certainly fulfilled it. Overall, The Night of Burning is a harrowing, yet heartwarming book, complete with a cast of characters quite unlike any others doing the rounds of YA fiction at the moment, an array of unlikely and well-structured settings and topped of with a lovingly written narrative. This review doesn't nearly do this book justice. Oh yes, if you pick up this book, then you are on to a winner.

★★★★★

Review: The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff

2011-04-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, the html really does hate me. Sorry if this doesn't really make sense, I'm not feeling very coherent tonight.

Mackie Doyle is not one of us. Though he lives in the small town of Gentry, he comes from a world of tunnels and black murky water, a world of living dead girls ruled by a little tattooed princess. He is a Replacement, left in the crib of a human baby sixteen years ago. Now, because of fatal allergies to iron, blood, and consecrated ground, Mackie is fighting to survive in the human world. Mackie would give anything to live among us, to practice on his bass or spend time with his crush, Tate. But when Tate's baby sister goes missing, Mackie is drawn irrevocably into the underworld of Gentry, known as Mayhem. He must face the dark creatures of the Slag Heaps and find his rightful place, in our world, or theirs. (I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that I did not write this summary. For a change of pace, I snatched it from Goodreads.com.)

The first thing that I caught my eye about The Replacement was the stunning US cover. If I were to marry a book cover, then the dust-jacket of The Replacement would be in Norway for our Honeymoon right now. (However, since the UK's cover lived to see lesser standards, I went to New York instead. Where, coincidentally, I saw a copy of the book and took the opportunity to stage a nervous breakdown in the middle of Borders. I began on the topic of the books wonderful cover, and somehow jumped to the ominous subject of how stealing is against the law, and walked out of the shop thinking about muffins.) It's atmospheric enough to have a place in some kind of horror movie (I cannot specify which type, for I do not watch horror movies.), creepy enough to send even the most jaded, hardened soldier crying to their mother, and pretty enough to make all of the popular book covers jealous. Although, I wasn't completely sold by the cover (okay, fine, I did initially intend to buy the book so I could frame it, but these words are among those things called irrelevant details.), but that was quickly remedied when I read the synopsis.

Now, The Replacement, due to it's prettyful cover and intriguing summary, was oft fangirled over. However, since us fangirls can be a little ... overzealous about everything (a fact which I am proud to acknowledged), we are in the habit of building our expectations as high as the Great Wall of China. In the case of the Replacement's, were the expectations met, with open arms and cookies? Well, not entirely, but I do remember eating a cookie while I was reading this book, once. Okay, back to that not entirely part of the last sentence. I think you'll be very surprised that I haven't wandered off topic during this review, yet. I'm quite proud of myself, like how I was proud about myself being able to escape that horde of electric sheep-sharks in time. Oh, oops. Anyway, I am now going to explain the 'not entirely' parts. While this book did have an interesting concept, a fairly good plot, a varied, intriguing cast of characters, and a writing style with a texture like glue that somehow managed to keep me entertained, I did feel like it lacked a certain something.

I don't know exactly what this book was missing, and am therefore not going to devote more than three sentences to it. Because overall, I enjoyed this book. It was good fare to keep my mind of the many horrible fates that could come and poke me in the eye while I was journeying above over the Pacific, Atlantic, or whatever that ocean between England and America is called. Of course, there were other things that I liked about the book. I'm just deciding whether I should inform you of these details. Or I was, but then I realised that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Anyway, the plot was not the centre of this books being. It was the being watching from above, sending down sadistic events to amuse itself. And what really upheld the book was the characters reactions and developments to the plots whims. And, you know, the creepy setting. Now, for some inexplicable reason, I want ice cream. Specifically, chocolate with a flake.

However, that is not all the book was going for it. I forgot to mention the quality of the writing in my fruitless search for ice-cream. The writing. There were several thins that it wasn't, but it's other attributes made up for that entirely. For example, it wasn't particularly well-written, but it felt authentic and flowed like a stream devoid of any rocks and yes, I do know that my similies do suck. The setting. To be exact, there are three main settings. Okay, there are more, but those are the most significant. And I do not feel obliged to count. Now, the faster I stride through this subject, the faster I can have that ice-cream. Specifically, chocolate with a flake. What I adored most about the setting was that they were all strange, well-developed, and intriguing in each of their own rights. But sadly, none of them involved the ice-cream I crave. Or, at least, I do not recall them featuring chocolate ice-cream with a flake in a rainbow comb with lots of chocolate sauce as an imperative plot point. In hindsight, I realise that the lack of ice-cream was the books main flaw. As you should know by now, your life will be enhanced by the addition of ice-cream to your dessert. Or your head.

I suppose I should move onto the characters, now. In my recent observations of the gender, I have seen a substantial increase in the amount of dark, angsty, 'I have issueesss' guys appearing within the YA genre. Now, when done well enough, they beat the emotional aloof, 'but I still have issuesss' stereotype, which are also revered among the fanbase. Mackie could fall into the net somewhere in between if he weren't a deconstruction of the stereotypes, but he is. So tough. He no longer lacks an excuse for randomly emoing out. Not that I recall him doing that, anyway. Now, moving on. Mackie was not akin to those other characters who are piled above him on each side, in how he is not worshipped, he reacts realistically to the situation, and could be pretty damn badass when the situation demanded it. I liked him. Most of the time. When I didn't want to punch him. On a vaguely related note, it was very amusing to see how Mackie, when he was angry or motivated, he transformed from a serene guy to a badass who boasted a vocabulary of swear words larger than peoples hair in the eighties. I think you'll find that this is quite a feat. A bit like playing rugby with a transformer. There are other characters that I should probably analyse but analysing is now fun, and I would like to take a moment to point out that the twins needed a bigger word count. They had the potential to be even more awesome than they were.

As for the other characters, I can't say that many of them made a lasting impression. However, that is not to say I loathed all of them. No, I actually rather liked the Morrigan and her kingdom of dead girls, Roswell, and Emma. They all had their fair share of development, and where obviously like able. Unfortunately, I cannot say as much for Tate. Sure, she had some decent development and a fairly logical excuse, but the 'waaaah, my life sucks and therefore I am going to be angry at everyone with two, three, and maybe four legs' stereotype is beginning to get a little tiring. Although I felt that her treatment of Mackie was somewhat bipolar in it's nature of liking and telling him to leave her alonnneee early in the book, her spine and outburst at people who really deserved it did atone for some of her less favourable qualities.

The romance in this novel set out it's course at the beginning of the novel, and resolved to stick to the planned destination, but not without taking a few, unplanned detours due to certain road blocks and pot holes. By this I mean that Mackie's true romantic interest is pretty clear from the start, but the author did not hesitate to give the entire cast a couple of moments each with Mackie. Indeed, Mackie is shippable with everyone. If one (such as myself) does not particularly like the designated love interest, fear not, as you can take your pick from the Morrigan, her harem of dead girls, the Cutter, Roswell, Emma, Alice ... - the ships are as abundant English rain showers. Although, what I particularly valued about this book was the strong male friendships that the characters had. In my humble opinion, I thought that they were a whole lot sweater than any of the canonical romance - which, in my once again humble opinion, felt a little rushed and forced at points. Which is why I am proud to announce that I support Roswell/Mackie. Throw your tomatoes and point your pitchforks all you like, my yoai fangirlism shall not be deterred.

Oh. Well, not it's the end. I suppose I should be a little disappointed about that. Reflecting upon that, I was quite pleased with the ending of The Replacement. It didn't feel incomplete, or rushed, or have an irritating cliffhanger. It felt like the end of a well thought out, enjoyable book. Which it was. And I think that says it all. I would suggest you take a look at this book, but if you do insist on buying it - go for the pretty US cover. If I were to directly address my opinions on the UK cover, then I would probably have to barricade myself into my home and wash twice as many tomatoes out of my hair. Hair-washing aside, I do recommend this book. On what pretext, though, I cannot classify, as I have more important things to do. Like getting me some ice-cream, for example.

★★★★

Review: Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

2011-03-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

Bahhh, I'm so sorry if the HTML explodes and sticks this all together or does other vindictive things of the sort. :'( It hates me.

When your world is paranormal, be glad that you’re human… Exciting new author brings a fresh sassy take on paranormal romance, loved by Becca Fitzpatrick, author of HUSH, HUSH. Sixteen-year-old Evie has always taken comfort in the fact that she is normal, even though her best friend is a mermaid and her ex-boyfriend is a lunatic – and a faery.In a world where paranormals are monitored and controlled, Evie works for the International Paranormal Containment Agency because of her unique ability to see through glamours. But someone – or something – starts killing vampires, werewolves and other paranormals, and Evie must figure out what’s happening before they all disappear. Then a shapeshifter named Lend breaks into the agency, and Evie is irresistibly drawn to him, even though he makes her aware that the IPCA is not as noble as she once thought. With everything Evie believes suddenly called into question, the IPCA is attacked and she must choose who she can really trust. And when Evie discovers she’s part of a faerie prophecy of death and destruction… so much for normal. (I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you when you find that it was not me who wrote this, but those people who like to sell us things that we don't necessarily need, Amazon.co.uk.)

A while ago, a time that I cannot diverge to for fear that a cat that I do not own will come and maul me. A while ago was when everyone was talking about this book. Everyone was abuzz with excitement for this book, and I was one of them. So, I'm sure you can imagine my excitement when this dropped onto my doorstep, along with some other goodies that I cannot thank the publisher enough for. However, were the contents underneath the pretty cover as satisfactory as they promised to be? ... Oh, you want me to answer. But that butterfly over there is far more important. (I fear it is coming to eat me. Oh well, better tell you my thoughts on the book before it comes to finish me off.) I mean, yes, for the most part, this book was satisfactory. But more importantly, where did the girl on the cover get her dress? I must have it.

Paranormalcy revolves around a very unique, fun idea. (Well, whether it is fun for the protagonists is up for debate, but their suffering is very entertaining for the reader.) In fact, there are many, many fun idea's within this book. (Since I'm not versed in ... mythology of any kind, I do not know whether these fun ideas actually have some ground behind them, but whatever.) Between an agency that controls a supernatural underworld, another organisation which, technically, is less organised, that has roots that dig into the other whatever, and fairies, banshees, shape shifters, vampires, a genre-savvy yet charming heroine and a perky villain who is debatable more fun to read about than the main characters, but maybe that's just me. Now, all of these are good concepts, but were they carried out well enough? Oh, miss narrator, your asking my opinion again. Yes, they were. Gloriously - with witty, unusual, awesome portrayals of things have been undeniably done before. Now, can I please go back under the kitchen sink?

The plot, if I bothered to explain it correctly, but as I am under the kitchen sink right now, don't really feel obliged to, would probably have you be rushing out the door to buy the book. But since I don't really feel like actually giving you reasons to race out and purchase this book, you will just have to suffice with a fairly vague description of the plot. And maybe a bowl of rice. Now, the plot seemed to have a lot of thought put into it; it had it's fair share of twists, and managed to be complex, but still easy to follow for anyone with half a brain. While I was not overly impressed, I wasn't unimpressed. However, I think the main things that this book has going for it is it's characters development throughout and it's pretty cover (must have that dress. I will acquire that dress even if it requires brute force). But we shall come to that later. Once I am sure the cat and butterfly have stopped plotting my death, and once I can come out from underneath the kitchen sink.

Paranormalcy had a narrative that flowed, and retained a fun, and bouncy feel all the way though the book, but not without being witty and very aware of whatever was happening around them (apparently, some people are versed in more than what spiders spin their webs in such corners of the underneath of the kitchen sink. Apparently, I am not one of those people.). However, there was nothing unique about it. Evie's voice was realistic and gripping, but I felt like I had heard it somewhere before. Which was because I had - several times over, in plenty of other paranormal romance books. But otherwise, this is the books only flaw. And besides, when you take into consideration the amount of books sitting around on people's shelves, on the floor, in the bathroom, under the kitchen sink ... these kind of things are bound too happen. Why yes, I did just make a rational comment. Perhaps it is just the fumes that are housed under the sink making me do strange things. Perhaps I should get out of here. Other than that, This book was incredibly enjoyable.

And now, I will let you into a little secret. I hated none of the characters. Oh, dear. It appears some of you have fainted. It wasn't that they were so ridiculously well developed, no, it was because they were fun. Evie was the kind of manic girl that I would probably hang around with - she was kind, realistic in her emotions, and somewhat eccentric. But in the best way possible. One of the most enjoyable things about her character was seeing it develop over the course of the book. Also, her lack of understanding of rather mundane things such as lockers (they cost money, they store things, they break if you try and store too many things into them. Sometimes they explode.) and her want for normality was rather endearing. Now, Lend. I thought that I was going to like him a lot more than I actually did. Perhaps this would be different if he kept up that smart mouthed demeanour he had when the book began. But he didn't, and subsequently ~~devolved~~ developed into the nice guy that he is at the end of the book. In hindsight, he was the perfect match for Evie. They're both absolutely adorable, if a little lacking in depth. By a little, I mean a little. Like, how little the chance of being eaten by sharks is when you on land, under the sink. Oh my god, what if I'm eaten by sharks? Electric Sharks! I need to go and hide somewhere else!

However, I will stay here for the moment, as there are more characters I want to talk about. Like Vivian, and Reth. In my opinion, they were the most entertaining characters in the book. Between Vivian's somewhat psychotic genkiness was very enjoyable. While she didn't have that much time on the page, and her character was something of a stereotype, she had enough depth for me to understand her actions, and be rather sad at that thing that I cannot explicitly mention, because if I do, then you will all murder me with your spoiler weapons. So, in that case, onto Reth. Sure, everything that came out of his mouth made him sound like someone on the wrong side of the law, and his image constantly fluctuated in my mind, due to a comment that Evie dropped (so now, whenever he makes an appearance, he is surrounded by Ouran Roses.). But he was amusing to have around, nonetheless, and his complete lack of any kind of moral compass made him more so. Plus that he was something of a slippery bastard, and that made me enjoy his character even more.

Which, I suppose in a completely unrelated way, makes me move onto the romance in this book. Lend and Evie were perfectly well-matched. It was sweet, I suppose. People who read this blog (and I assume that the non-existent readers are probably staring at the monitor right now, thinking what people? Thank you. Thank you very much.) should know that I don't really like romance. It bores me slightly. Unless the characters have a dynamic that I really love, or are a yoai pairing. That's it! Reth and Lend totally have this whole belligerent sexual tension thing going on them between them! Also, Evie and Reth - not so much. But I don't really see how it could be called a romance. More like, a ... one night stand, except that it lasted longer (I think ...) and failed to upkeep any of the implications that the phrase I used keeps. Which means that my mind wondered off and I ended up using the wrong phrase. Think of it as a phrase you prefer. I just wasn't too fond of the romance between them.

Now, I fear I have reached my conclusion. Overall, Paranormalcy was a fun and enjoyable book, with a delightful, flowing narrative and interesting, unique characters, and you can tell that being under this sink for so long has given me a strange affinity for using commas, quite a lot. I recommend you read this book, along with stuffing Pocky Sticks into your mouth in the same fashions as the way Hamsters eat, and while you listen to some kind of upbeat dance music. For it is one of those books that are just enjoyable to read, and I can foresee myself re-reading when I'm in one of those moods - the kind of moods that cause nuclear wars. Just to cheers myself up and therefore prevent this. And I recommend that you do, too!

Thanks to Harper Collins for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★★

Guess what? I'm still alive.

2011-02-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

I know, I'm shocked too. By the way, this post is more important than you'd think.

Okay, so first, an apology. ~~Not for HTML fail, this time. But if it does happened, well ... sorry. I'll fix it later.~~ I'm sorry I don't post much at the moment. I can understand why some of you guys probably hop over to the over Book Bug sites more often then when you peek over here. That's fine; those sites are probably consistently better. But the attention whore in me makes is very sad at the moment. I love your comments. I'm so incredibly thankful for all of the followers that I have. You're all amaziiiinnggg. As are the giant bags of Reese's peanut cup cake thingies you can buy in America. And the bookshops. Oh god, the bookshops. *Falls into incomprehension*

Speaking of a country on the otherside of the ocean that I do not know the name of because my geography is quite frankly on the level of a retarded five year old (though I do happen to be able to locate quite a few micronations and principalities too small for the average human eye to see on the map.), I went to America last week. Jet-lagged as I am, I will willingly admit that I had a great time. I dragged my companions into as many bookshops that I saw, abandoned them outside Forbidden Planet to camp out in the manga section and stayed in a very big hotel. ANd read a lot of books. All of which I am going to review, at my own pace. Which means incredibly slowly. :D

Oh, and I seriously reccomend the Haruhi Suzumiya novels. They have pictures in them! And with their help, I've struggled out of my reading slump! I've also become rather broke again, but that is another story entirely! But now I'm faced with the trouble of too many books, too fast a reader, too slow a review writer and and and ... Yup.

Whatever. Now, my friends. I want your opinion on this blog. Your real opinion. What you really think - whether you love it (then you can give me cookies ^^), and if you hate it ... well, I'm always open for constructive critism. But please don't take this as an opputunity to bitch and whine at me. ^^

Be a hater, and fear his wrath.

I've been watching/reading a lot of anime/manga recently. I feel really inclinded to reccomend Hetalia, Black Butler (or Kuroshitsuji, if you prefer), and Pandora Hearts. Well, not for the easily offended. But they're are all really fun series, which you will probably being hearing more about in the near future because I am obsessed. ^^

Now, bye. This post is less important than I thought. So sorry about it's absolutely lacking in effort, or half decent content.

~~God don't ask me why that is the post image.~~

Review: Seeing Redd by Frank Beddor

2011-02-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

Alyss of Wonderland’s rule has only just begun and already those who prefer chaos to peace are threatening to destroy everything worth imagining. Trailed by newly appointed Royal Bodyguard Homburg Molly, Alyss does her best to keep pace with the spiraling, non-stop demands of being Queen while attempting to evade Molly for a few private moments with Dodge. Alyss’s life is already a challenging mix of duty, love and imagining when a series of phantom sightings set fire to an urban myth of her Imperial Viciousness’s return and have everyone…Seeing Redd. Has Redd somehow freed herself and her chief assassin, the Cat, from the confines of the Heart Crystal to challenge her niece once again? If not, then who has resurrected Redd’s brutal footsoldiers, the Glass Eyes, and set them loose to attack Wonderland on all sides? Battles rage, looking glasses explode and the Alyssians are once again uniting to defend White Imagination in this fast-paced second book in The Looking Glass Wars trilogy. (Guess what? I didn't write this summary. The people at Amazon.com did.)

Hello, my name is Chloe and I like cute things, yoai, and good books. The author of this novel is named Frank Beddor, and from what I can grasp, he really likes sound effects. If one were to count the number of onomatopoeia in this novel, I'm sure the total would come to over nine thousand. Anyways, to be quite truthful, I had a hard time remembering what happened in the previous novel. The one small detail that I remember did not help me to recall any more; it was simply that I enjoyed it. And because of my strange amnesia, I had a hard time enjoying this one. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it ... I just felt that something was missing. A little something. I think it was the main characters fault, but I will go into that a bit later.

One of the positive things I have to say about this book was that the writing was lovely. Beddor has a very extravagant style (although, sometimes it was a little too extravagant - whether this is because I have an attention span - and lungs, now that I think of it - I don't know, or some other unknown reason, but I sometimes became lost between the lines of pretty text.). The only way that I can really convey the emotion I felt towards it is to compare it to a massive, delicious cake that I really feel like eating right now. After a certain amount of (gratuitously large) slices, it's no longer appealing. Oh, who am I kidding. Writing/Cakes like this are the reason people are smart/obese. The thing I'm actually trying to convey, is not, in fact, how hungry I am, but that the writing was pretty, but it did have it's faults. Though I really am hungry. Though before I go off to scavenge any giant slices of cake, I must talk about the plot.

You know, I think a book is commendable if the plot manages to branch it in every single chapter, adding new twists and such, to the point of making my poor little brain explode with either confusion (most likely), or because I was so impressed at the plot changing more than the time of day (not likely, but wouldn't it be nice if I could say that my brain could process anything other than cute things, yoai, and what I ate for dinner last night. Wait, what did I eat for dinner last night? Was it chicken salad? The fact that I don't know shall be looming upon me until my brain indulges me and let's my access my memory. Not that this is likely to happen, so I'll be over here. Trying to remember the necessities of life, and not writing this review.). Anyhow, as the book went on the plot accumulated more and more twists, and assembled them in such a manner so that it left a few hanging, some resolved (with battles! And fighting! And other exciting stuff like that!) and me enough satisfied. If you do not understand a word or what I just said, great, because I didn't either! What I meant to say is that I am hungry and the plot impressed me.

Now, I think my problem with this book lies with the pace and the characters. I'm not sure whether it was due to the fact that I read it over a very long stretch of time, which caused me to forgot, or lose interest, or experience some other phenomenon that I blame on having no attention span at all. There were times when I just wanted to get it over an done with - but unfortunately, the plot does not care about my wants or needs, and kept plodding away at it's own pace. Ahhh! My watch just reminded me that ~~it is always six 'o' clock~~ I now must explain my beef with the characters. I didn't have a beef with them as much as ... didn't find them particularly interesting. I much preferred the antagonists to the protagonists - they had this much more appealing random, dramatic, hilarious, and sometimes scary atmosphere around them. I felt that they had a little more substance, and while the a half decent reason for their villainy was noticeably absent, they were certainly very good at it. And in any, and every incarnation, I adore the Cheshire Cat. Not to mention the fact that their tenure into the Victorian Era was very amusing.

I suppose right now is the ideal time to state my reasons for disliking Alice. To put it quite frankly, she was rather dull. I'm sure that she's a good ruler and all, but I found her segments to be something akin to reading wall paper. Floral print wallpaper, of which I cannot stand. The characters around her were perfectly abidable. Dodge was rather entertaining, if somewhat flat at points, and Bibwit seemed like a lovely person. At first, I wasn't too concerned with Hatter Madigan. I wrote him off as just another incarnation of the Hatter that I wasn't to concerned with. By the end of it, in which some stuff which includes character development ensued, I did care a little more about him. Sort of. In the way you 'don't really care' about your math marks. Right now, I cannot think of more constructive things to say on people, since my mood has turned from not completely there, to not completely there and bitter.

Now comes the time in which I compare this book to other Alice in Wonderland related things. The Looking Glass Wars definitely aren't the best Alice ... thing I have ever read, but they have there moments. I admire it for it's individuality - it strikes no resemblance to any other Alice ... thing I have ever read. Though, I must admit that I do prefer some of said other series interpretations of the character (for example, Pandora Hearts and Alice in the Land of Hearts's Cheshire Cat. And I'm sure that quite a few of you have no clue about what I'm talking about, so whatever.) slightly more than I liked this novels. Though I do commend the author for making them, for the most part anyway, unique in their own ways. Although, Pandora Hearts will always be my favourite Alice thingie, excluding the actual book, of course. (Which I read, actually. For the first time! It was very fun.)

The part of me that wants to obey my plans instructions and discuss the romance with whoever is listening is located in my smallest toe, which was broken recently and is therefore not feeling very dominant (all it wants at the moment is to reclusively curl up in the corner of my fluffiest sock), so as you can imagine, this paragraph is going to contain a roaring debate on the romance. No, that made no sense to me, either. It is going to be an incredibly short paragraph, because there really wasn't that much of it. And not even very much opportunity for slash pairings, either. The yoai fangirl in me is having a heart attack right now, by the way. Okay, since that's over and done with, who wants pancakes?

Well, tough. You're getting a conclusion instead. Seeing Redd was a good, if a little slow book, and the characters were interesting and well fleshed-out, if a little irritation, but finding something that doesn't irritate me is a job that ... someone who is very good at stuff would have a hard time with. Shakespeare would be envious of the writing style, despite the fact that the only prose in his plays were the stage directions and I, like normal, have no idea about what I am rambling on about. So yes, I would recommend this book. And you will be pleased to know that since the beginning of this review, I have figured out what this book was missing. Something that would have brought it's magical writing to life. Pictures. I'll just let you decipher this one on your own.

★★★.5

Review: Only the Good Spy Young by Ally Carter

2011-02-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

Woot, I'm going to be in New York for the next week! Also, if there is some html fail, then alert me. Also, I was watching the Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler Anime dub. It kind of reminded me of listening to the Archers. God knows why. The Japanese is better.

When Cammie Morgan enrolled at the Gallagher Academy, she knew she was preparing for the dangerous life of a spy. What she didn’t know was that the serious, real-life danger would start during her junior year of high school. But that’s exactly what happened two months ago when Cammie faced off against an ancient terrorist organization dead set on kidnapping her.Now the danger follows her everywhere, and even Cammie “The Chameleon” can’t hide. When a terrifying encounter in London reveals that one of her most-trusted allies is actually a rogue double-agent, Cammie no longer knows if she can trust her classmates, her teachers—or even her own heart.

If there was anything I expected you to know after reading this blog for more than two days (though, given the quality of the content, or lack thereof, I can't imagine why you would want to glance at it for more than two seconds), then it would be my hatred of the protogonist of the Morganville Vampires Series, and my love of the Gallagher Girls Series. Also, the fact that I like cute things and strive to become a spy and dominate the world with my yoai fangirlness. But that's irrelvent to todays source material. And on that bombshell, I intend to review/ sing the praises of the latest book in one of the aforementioned series; Only the Good Spy Young. The Gallagher Girls series is something of a guilty pleasure for me, and every time I throw away ludicrous amounts of money to have the latest book shipped over from the states the day they are released, I regreat absolutely nothing (Well, okay, I do regret the fact that I actually have to spend money, but whatever. Stealing is illegal, and if I do it I will land in prison and they will be the ones stuck with bailing me out, which my friends like to remind me of at least five times a day.). They are just that enjoyable.

The following details may come as shock horror to you. Because for the most part, the books that I buy of my own accord lack plot or something, you will be somewhat shocked to find that this book actually had a plot. And a pretty good one at that. But I shall discuss that later, as if I do that now, then I'll most likely run out of things to say, and have to resort to whatecer pops into my head. Plus the narrative sounds (or so I assume, I must admit that I've never actually been in that many of the situations that occur in this book. Well, only in mid-math-lesson delusions.) like a teenager in the situation that Cammie somehow managed to get herself in. Indeed, I rather like her voice. It's pretty bubbly and determind, not to mention that she got a few laughs out of me throughout the book. She's awfully optimistic, and that prevents her from falling into fits of emoness that other teenage 'heroines' tend to have, painfully often. Well, for the most part anyway. But since this is supposed to be a positive review (and hell, it's killing me. I don't know if you know this, but I'm hardly what one would call a positive person.) and Claire/any character who annoyed me enough for me to attempt to murder the book (read as: slightly irritating), which, you will be pleased to know, Cammie didn't, rants don't really classify as positive. Unless you're the one writing them.

Now, I was going to say something about the plot. Uh yeah, about that. I only said that to up my word count. So I hope you'll just settle with it was a good plot, though not to complex. I wouldn't have minded a few extra twists, but since my brain could only comprehend very small and mediocre things when I was reading this, due to over-consumption of christmas chocolate (mediocre thigns would be classed as a favourite character dying, which they didn't, a ship sinking, which it also didn't, or my supply of christmas chocolate running out, which it did, and there were many tears on my part.). It was a nice read, a break from anything serious. Even while the events of the book got subsequently darker as it went on, Only The Good SPy Young retained that bouncy, action-packed, exciting and entertaining feeling that I adored about the series in the first place. Which, considering the amount of substandard sequels, awful additions, and pretty poor prequels I've read lately, the fact that these books remain good throughout the entire series is rather amazing. I would now like you to take a moment to reflect on how wonderful my alliteration was in the previous sentence. Because alliteration requires a brain, of which I don't have (attributed to the fact that I've been watching too much anime recently.), and now my head hurts.

Now for something completely different. I would now like to take a moment to discuss the setting and the concept with you. I'm very shallow, tastewise; if a book happens to involve any combination of boarding school, paranormal activity, spys, romance that isn't completely crappy and any kind of amusing shenanigans then it's likely that I've already bought it. And while the concept of a spy boarding school isn't completely alien thing, to both me, and the rest of the literary ... world, it is certainly refreshing to see it combined with all of the winning elements hidden between this books pretty pink cover. (Upon opening this book, I was pleasantly suprised to find that obscured under the dust cover was a rosy pink binding. Because I'm a girl, this thrilled me.) Some may find some kind of material within to hate on; such as the silly (or alternatively, adorable) sub plots, the 'trifling' ( and or amusing) matters that the girls obsessed over, and I've run out of faults. It's quite obvious that you're not going to hear a negative things from me about these books, and if you dare to emit something negative about these books, then I will most likely tear you apart. And I will laugh.

Random musing aside, I am now going to follow the structure that I always follow and give irreverent moans about the characters. Like I said, I like Cammie. I'm pretty sure that if she were real, she would fit in perfectly with everyone else. She's just that realistic, well, if yopu ignore that whole spy thing. Um, yeah, as I was saying, Cammie has a spine, and retains it, even when her love interest is within fifteen feet (an achievement, I must say - most of the protagonists in most of the other books I read have unfortunately not managed to attain their bcak bone when their love interest even come to mind.). Speaking of said love interest, I think my love of the character should be well known by now. While not a completely unique character (to be quite honest, I could think of at least two similiar characters, though I must admit that I do not like those characters as much.), he pulls of the stereotype very well. He may suffer slightly from character derailment via romance, but only slightly, and for the most part retains his likeable traits. And his flaws. So that's that.

Romance does worm it's way into the plot, and while this would really, really annoy me in any other circumstance, I didn't mind it in this book. It was the kind of the enjoyable brain rot that I enjoy to read once in a while, though I'd never admit it, and if you ever use it against me then please don't expect to come out of it alive. Now, uh, yes, I was saying something about the romance. It's sweet and has some kind of development behind it. Most importantly, the ship is teased very much which makes the shippers (otherwise known as me) happy enough to squeel, in theory, anyway.

Only the Good Spy Young was a good novel overall. It had it's small faults, all of which I am not willing to discuss because I am biased. The characters were interesting, the plot upheld itself, and the cover isn't too bad as they go.(Though, I must admit to liking the UK Cover deisgns a little more. But then again: biased.) I'm hoping that there shall be another installment. Because I will read another installment. No matter how bad the plot gets, how derailed the characters become from their original personalities, I will continue to buy these books. No matter what. And I thiink that you should do the same, espiecially if you are feeling down, depressed, or in a reading slump. Maybe it's a matter of opinion, but I love this series.

★★★★.5

Merry Christmas! Or I had too much fun with a photo editor.

2010-12-25T01:25:00.000-08:00

~!MERRY CHRISTMAS!~

But, luckly, you will never get to see those photo's that I edited, due to immature and unfunny content.

Weeeeelllll, its that time of year again. ~~Which means that I have to write a Christmas fanfic in just one day oh god.~~ Well, now I'm here to deliver you some really, really random pointless crap. About Christmas, which obviously makes it more exciting. I'm hungry. That was random.

I got a lot of books for christmas, as per usual. Though, only god knows when I'm going to have time to read, due to the ever increasing pile of review books I have to read. And write reviews for. (Well, by write I mean that I will type a few sentences, and then get subsequently distracted on the internet. That's why I take so long to 'write' them.) Oh, what am I going to do? >_<>

Oh yeah, books. Here.

I, for some reason, feel inclined to list these Paperback books (I also have no idea why 'paperback' is italicised') with my opinions of them pre-read.

Hetalia series 1 dvd (okay, fine, book and dvd) - what can I say, it's a guilty pleasre. Actually, most of the books on this pile are guilty pleasures in some way ...

*Pandora Hearts vol. 2 - ... I've been cursed by the manga fairy. I'm hopelessly addicted. -_-

*Fruits Basket vol ... 15 - Wow, I'm like half way through this series! And I've only been reading since November! /Impressed at herself, but she really shouldn't be.

*The Very Bloody History of Britain by John Farman - because I'm a sucker for biased, funny histories like this. I don't learn much, but I do laugh.

*Bright Youngs Things by Anna Godbersen - OMG I just spelt that right. Oh, and if you didn't expect me to have this, then you are a fool. It also proves that someone is reading this, so thanks!

*A Brief History of Mongomery by Michelle Cooper. I was expected to go and get thirty punds worth of stuff that I wanted. I saw this in a bookshop. It looked interesting and it had a book blogger quote in the front. It's really rather simple.

*Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson - I have the second one, from Bloomsbury and I would prefer not to read this series out of order, like I do with every other series that I start.

*Oh.My.Gods by Terra Lyn Childs - this looks like pure fun.

*New Mutants classic. I ... just wanted to read this. I don't have any of the original issues because a) I wasn't born b) I didn't steal this from a library, despite the plastic cover">

Woot, now hardbacks (I also have no idea why that was bolded

Truth be told, I hate hardbacks. They're such a pain to carry round, and they're heavy. Plus, I always damage them because I'm so clumsy.

*Chocolate Orange. I was hungry and it was yummy. It was full of popping candy! Nom nom nom.
*Only the Good Spy Young by Ally Carter. I love this series. I love this series so much. I ordered Heist Society, but due to snow and my disorganisation (though I would very much like to blame the postal service) it hasn't arrived yet. Damn you, postal service! Damn you!
*Anastasia's Secret by Suzanne Dunlap. I love historical fiction. Espiecially stuff about Anastasia, because Russian history is so interesting and it's such a sad story. I've also been wanting this book for a very long time. Plus, the cover is very pretty, if non-descript.

*Ascendant by Diana Peterfruend. OH YEAH, I GOT THIS. AND PROBABLY SO DO YOU, BUT I DON'T CARE I'M JUST SO GODDAMN EXCITED TO SEE SOME UNICORNS DIE AND STUFF. THAT MAKES ME A BAD PERSON, DOESN'T IT? OH WELL. I HATE THE COVER.

*The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan. OKay, whenever a new book that is in some way related to Rick RIordan, Percy Jackson or who ever is released, I have something resembling a ceisure, because I love them. SO MUCH. I have a signed copy of one of them, somewhere. It's probably just going to be sitting around while I worship it for six months, because it is so bloody thick, though. Seriosiouly, it's like a door stop. I would use it for one if I didn't consider that abuse. Plus, the cover is all shiny.

*X-Men: Second Coming. Ehh, I've already read most of this. I'm just missing a few issues and it was cheap on amazon when I was ordering what I wanted for Christmas, so I thought I might as well have it. It's all pretty and shiny and nice. And besides, I'm a nerd.

I also got some other stuff, like a prettyful bracelet, a pair of headphones that won't break if I even touch them, enough chocolate to feed a small african country, and soem plushies of anime characters I like. Yeah, I'm so cool. /Sarcasm.

Well, that's it for now, my friends. I hope you have a lovely christmas, and I hope that it's snowing where you are, because the snow has started to melt where I am. You've all been great this year. I reached 111 followers and have managed to keep this blog going for at least two years. I'm so pleased. You guys are awesome. I know I'm not as active as I once was, and I'm honestly going to try and change that. I just ... have nothing to post about. So, I'm asking you for suggestions. PLEASE HELP ME I'M BEGGING YOU.

~~THE BLOODY HTML HATES ME. I HATE IT BACK.~~

Bidding you farewell, mes amis! I'm off to spend some obligatory time with the family, and hopefully eat something over than chocolate. You may/may not get a review tommorow, depending on how much time that bloody Christmas fanfic takes me. Please excuse my langauge, but it's [Censored for your well-being] draining the life out of me.

Review: The Double Life of Cassiel Roadnight by Jenny Valentine

2010-12-24T01:29:00.000-08:00

Uh, yeah, I'm still alive. It's been ... what, two months since I last posted? I don't know. It took me way too long to write this. Anyhow, enjoy! *So much shame you can't even imagine* I'll try and be faster in the future. :D

Two boys. One identity. He can change his life if he says yes… An explosive new mystery from the award-winning author Jenny Valentine, The Double Life of Cassiel Roadnight is the story of a boy who assumes the identity of a missing teenager and in-so-doing unearths a series of shattering family secrets – and the truth about who he really is. With all the classic hallmarks of a Jenny novel – a fantastically strong, sensitive and memorable first person narration; themes of loss and betrayal, family secrets and personal identity; truly quality writing that is 'literary' but never inaccessible or pretentious, this is the thrilling new novel from the author of Finding Violet Park.

Now that I think of it, I started this book a really long time ago. And that is probably be the reason why this review is going to crappier than any others I produce in the meantime. Or, if you think it is rubbish for any other reason, then I shall blame it on the elves. But this book, however, was in no way 'crappy'. I am in awe of everything Jenny Valentine writes. She has such extraordinary ideas, and such a unique way of putting them. This book (which has a title longer than I am willing to type on a regular basis, so it will probably be constantly referred to as 'this book'.) And even if it did take me a long time to read it, that wasn't because it was bad, it was because I have nothing even resembling an attention span. (Indeed, the book would have kept my attention if I was in possession of such a thing.) Okay, now that we've just established the two things that will be the staples for this review, and therefore be repeated when I find that I have inevitably run out of things to say, I can move on.

Starting with the plot. For the first half of the book, nothing much happened. I'm not saying this a bad thing, though - world, and character building are incredibly important, in my opinion. (Plus, I like the chance to get to know the characters and decide on which ones I'm going to hate in my review. Yes, I am just that shallow.) And while I adore a book with non-stop action, a book with non-stop action is no fun without well-developed and vaguely interesting characters. And while The Double Life of Cassiel Roadnight (otherwise known as the book with a ridiculously long name to type out at this time of night) is not one of those books with non-stop action, the plotting, if a little slow sometimes, is rather impressive when you put it into perspective. The narrative was unique and very gripping. And yes, I say that about every other book, but I really mean it this time. Actually, I find every book that I read by Jenny Valentine as how I've described this book; unique, enticing, and overall rather ~~confusing~~ impressive.

Normally, I would just bumble on about anything but the plot, or anything unrelated to the book, actually, for another paragraph. But today, I want to talk about the writing. Or have I already done that...? I would now like you to imagine that I am not procrastinating, because I have already run out of things to say. So, back to the staples of the plot. No, wait, this paragraph is themed. I was going to say something on the narrative, wasn't I? I really ought to have this memory problem fixed. Anyway. While Cassiel was certainly a paranoid, interesting but sure as hell flawed character (and I adored him for it, though we shall come to that later.), it doesn't necessarily mean that the writing was very aesthetic (no, I totally wasn't just looking for an excuse to use that word, regardless of meaning and all that. What gave you that idea?). No, it had a more edgy, suspenseful feel to it. Notice how optimistic I'm being. That's because I genuinely liked this book. It's a rarity that I like a book as much as I did this one.

Now, onto the characters. Did I mention that I liked Cassiel (why, why, why do I want to keep writing Ciel, instead of Cassiel.). His attitude, back story and reactions to everything made me like him. He was amusing. It was amusing to see his character map out as his life became even more screwed up. The last part in particular was very amusing. And while I'm not the best judge, as I'm not a teenage boy (nor do I wish to be.), I'm sure the voice was pretty accurate for someone in his position. Overall, he was an engaging, well-developed, amusing character. Now, there were really only about two prominent female characters in the book. And correct me if I'm wrong, there were about four overall. While this isn't a problem, as the female characters were pretty well handled and characterized, not acting as a chew toy, or shallow love interests, I wouldn't have minded a love interest for Cassiel. ~~Even just for the sake of having one that I could hate.~~ Um, yes, now, onto the antagonist. Frank. Well, for the first half of the book, I thought that he was suspicious. And for the second part of the book, I knew he was suspicious. But I digress; it was all the more amusing to watch Cassiel be ... well, less than apt on reading the situation. Overall, he was a pretty good villain, as they come. Very realistic, everything considered. I know this because my sister forces me to watch crime shows with her, as some method of torture, because I am scared. Of everything.

Now, onto the subject of romance. For about half of the book, before the cliched, yet unforeseen plot twist occurred, I honestly thought that Edie was the love interest. When this cliched, yet unforeseen plot twist occurred, any theories I had were burnt. But since most of the events in this novel circulated around character development and solving the mystery of Cassiel Roadnight, there was really no romance. So that leaves me an entire paragraph to analyse (yes, that is another word that I wanted to use just for the sake of making me sound intelligent) said unforeseen yet rather plot twist. Since I can't really divulge the nature of this plot twist to you, because I do, then I will spoil the whole book and then you will probably attempt to murder me, I am going to try and give an opinion of it while keeping the details ambiguous. This particular plot twist can be done two ways; badly, or well. In this case, it was done pretty well. The details matched up, and even if a few of my theories did crash and burn, I was pretty pleased with the outcome. It wasn't particularly cheesy, and successfully managed to build the tension. Okay, discussion over, I've run out of things to say.

In conclusion, The Double Life of Cassiel Roadnight had not only a very long name, but a fantastic pitch, just as great plot and a unique style of writing. It was also very gripping. If these factors aren't enough to convince you, then I will have to find alternate reasons that may/may not involve various methods of torture. Because in my very humble opinion, if you consider Jenny Valentine's books to be bad, then you must have some kind of deep physiological (I am certain that is the wrong word, and in the wrong context, but I am honestly too tired at the moment to go and check) problem. She's an excellent writer, her books should be set aside from the rest of YA books. Because they are truly something different. And I mean that in an entirely good way. I think that my for once truthful and humble opinion should be enough of a positive note to end on, and enough of a whatever to make you buy the book.

Thanks to Harper Collins for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★.5

Review: Feeling Sorry for Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty

2010-12-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Arrrrgh, screw you Autosave! You never, ever work! Now I have to write this again. After I go and sulk in a corner. :'(

EDIT: Oh, and on an added note, I updated some of the blog policies just slightly. Now all I've got to do is catalogue those reviews. Gee, fuuun. OK, enjoy the review and please comment. :D

Oh, and the possible spoiler warning comes without saying.

When Elizabeth Clarry’s best friend Celia runs away to join the circus, Elizabeth has to hurry to the rescue, which isn't easy when she’s generally incompetent at being a teenager. Then gorgeous Saxon Walker decides to lend a hand and things get even more complicated. It’s a good thing Elizabeth has a new pen pal to talk to – because feeling sorry for Celia is turning out to be a full-time job. (Hey, guess what? I don't own this! I stole it from Amazon.com!)

A while ago, I was in a reading slump. It was on the recommendation of a friend that I read this book - if I had had my own way, then I would still be sulking in a corner, eyes glued to the internet, looking at sites selling things that I have no money to buy. But no, I eventually took said friends advice and read a Jaclyn Moriarty book. And surprisingly enough, I liked it a lot. (Why, yes - I did actually like a book. Shock!Horror, indeed. You really don't need to faint, though; it's a regular-occurrence.) Then again, there aren't many things to dislike - it had an interesting plot, characters that were so exasperating that they drove me to the point of attempted suicide, oh, and the following statement may shock you, so please have something to relieve yourself with (I suggest a fan, some alcohol, or a good book) - A ROMANCE THAT I DIDN'T HATE. That is so vitally crucial that I feel obliged to capitalize it. Anyway, I deliver to you today what is probably going to be the last positive review of the year (or the last review of the year, because I am so goddamn slow when it comes to writing.).

Since the Autosave feature hates me with a passion, whereas I only resent it with a passion, I am forced to rewrite this review. Anyway, while Feeling Sorry for Celia didn't fill me with the same kind of addled affection that Finding Cassie Crazy did - by 'addled affection' I mean that I loved it to the point of hugging it to my chest and spinning around my living room, with the curtains open (I assume this must have looked rather terrifying, considering the kids who were playing outside subsequently fled to their own lawn.) - but that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy it. Hell no; I really liked it. That wasn't irrelevant for once, but now I am going to discuss the books unconventional method of storytelling. Feeling Sorry for Celia is told through a series of letters, notes, letters and notes and any other variation of the two that I cannot be bothered to type. It's an unorthodox way to convey a story and I love it. People's personalities reveal themselves a whole lot faster through letters/narrative of that sort, rather than through normal stories. Plus, they are easier to read. And no, I am not insinuating that Feeling Sorry for Celia is a book for dumbasses. No, I am saying that it is a really enjoyable book for when I come home from school, stressed from maths class, as division, like the Autosave feature, has some kind of mildly returned grudge against me.

Why, now I do believe that I should actually talk about the notes. My notes tell me that I should be talking about the book, so I feel compelled to do so. When reading this book, I was subjected to many plot twists that I didn't foresee - I thought that I was becoming genre savvy as well. However, this illusion quickly withered away as I was pulled deeper into the story. Oh well, I suppose it is a sign of a good book. The characters were interesting and well developed not to mention unique, but I will come to that in a minute. Please, don't get me started on the romance, for I might actually have something positive to say about it. Later. Overall, Feeling Sorry for Celia was an unpredictable novel, filled to the brim with the goodness that they advertise on food adverts. Like that, but less tasty. (Well, for your mouth. Your mind is another matter. But mine is ... too peculiar to taste said brain food, so I cannot tell you about it. Obviously, I am confused, as I too have no idea what I'm going on about.) Oops, I just used the text I was planning to use in the conclusion.

Right now, I'm debating whether I should go straight ahead to talk about characters, or waffle on about the plot. My notes, which I must keep reminding you, rule over the small box in which I write this text, and therefore they get priority. So, characters. The title character of this novel, Celia, is what some people would refer to as a 'free spirit', but I would probably refer to her as a 'pain in the arse' if she came up in a conversation. While she was an interesting character, to say in the least, I found myself hating her. A lot. However, this isn't unusual. (Nor is the fact that I threw the book against the wall because of her.) Now, moving onto the main character, who is named Elizabeth. (No, I totally didn't have to check the summary for that.) And I have some positive things to say about her - she was an innovative character, with a unique and innovative personality. I could also relate with her in more than one way (that must be a first, I can hear you say to the computer screen, if anyone happens to be reading this.). Elizabeths pen friend, Christina had just as much personality and spine. (Plus, they had more than one thing in common; they both had a sense of humour.) If I were the goddess reigning over said universe that they live in then I would ~~introduce proper birth control options, and tell them to use them properly~~ conveniently kill of Celia and make Christina Elizabeth's closest friend.

I am going to take the opportunity to combined two things I do best in this one, probably over sized paragraph; complain about characters and complain about certain parts of the romance. Ha! You actually thought that I enjoyed all of it. Well, reader, you are wrong. I hated the relationship between Saxon (whom, turned out to have about as much spine - or balls, for that matter - as a jelly fish.) and Celia (please don't let me start on that rant again. You may receive a fully-fledged Claire rant if I do.) - since I found both of them detestable, and Saxons significant change of attitude detestable as well, and what it did to Elizabeth just plain hurtful. (I don't know why my vocabulary has been reduced to that of the girls in a Malory Towers book, but it must be a sign of how much I hated it.) I am definitely not a shipper on deck. I would very much rather that they did commit suicide. Now, onto the second aspect of romance in this novel. There was an unanticipated turn of a events that I was rather ... confused, but nonetheless impressed at. (I am a bit leery of Elizabeth's current love interest - I happen to think him a bit of a coward for writing all of those anonymous notes. Sure, I've done that, but those notes have only ever included spiteful things, and they were quite obviously from me, because I'm ... me.)

Though I read Feeling Sorry for Celia a rather long time ago, and even if I did have to google some of the characters names, the story and how much I enjoyed said story stayed within my conscience (along with that little thing constantly poking me and telling me to write the freakin' review.) all through the weeks when I should have been writing this review. Now, here are the reasons why you should read it, as I'm near sure that my review hasn't convinced you. Reason number eins would be that it's awesome, numero dos would be that the cover is non-descript, but very pretty, and number trois would be that it is an awesome book. No, I don't care if I repeated myself, or butchered a foreign language (but if one of you cares to remind me without buying the book, then the darklings will butcher you.) - my point is that you should buy the book, and you should enjoy it. As for now, I am going to sleep. Merry Christmas and all that.

★★★★.5

Review: Entice by Carrie Jones

2010-12-08T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hey, there! I'm still alive! And it snowed! Like, a ton! But now I have a cold! Okay, onto the review! Oh, and there maybe spoilers.

Zara and Nick are soul mates, meant to be together forever. But that's not quite how things have worked out. For starters, well, Nick is dead. Supposedly, he's been taken to a mythic place for warriors known as Valhalla, so Zara and her friends might be able to get him back. But it's taking time, and meanwhile a group of evil pixies is devastating Bedford, with more teens going missing every day. An all-out war seems imminent, and the good guys need all the warriors they can find. But how to get to Valhalla? And even if Zara and her friends discover the way, there's that other small problem: Zara's been pixie kissed. When she finds Nick, will he even want to go with her? Especially since she hasn't just turned. She's Astley's queen. (Summary belongs to Amazon.co.uk. I don't own anything, so please don't hit me Internet Police.)

It's quite amazing how many times I've tried to write this review. But alas, every time I scrap the old post, and start a new one, the words refuse to come. (And if you have been wondering, that is why this review reaches you after such a long period of time. No, it's not because I'm lazy, if you are inclined to think that I'm making excuses.) Oh well, maybe I can just reuse some of my humour like I normally do and make this one the lucky one. While Entice is hardly the best book in the series - no, you can just tell that from the cover - that does not mean that it is a bad book. Just because I was not a fan of some of the developments in the previous book does not mean that I didn't enjoy the majority of it. (It would mean, however, that I wouldn't buy it. But since Publishers like to give me presents, I never need to buy them. So, ha, people who have to buy the majority of their own books.) Now that I have rambled on about nothing, I can continue to the nest paragraph, where I will actually discuss the book. (Maybe.)

When I started Entice, I thought that I had a clear memory of everything in the previous books. I prided myself in this, as it may have been one of the only times up to date that I could openly recall what had happened in the other books. However, it seemed that I was deluding myself. Those supposed pristine and clear memory turned out to be disjointed and cloudy - I only remembered the things that I hated and wanted to die. (Zara's inevitable crossover to the Sparkle Side, for example.) Since neither google, nor my previous reviews wanted to help me, I had to ask a friend. After I asked that friend, everything (and every character that I had forgotten) came back to me with what I imagine could equal the weight of Russia's entire stock of nuclear bombs. Okay, useless segment of crap is now over, I will now actually talk about the book. (Shock!Horror!) While Entice was not particularly well written, it had a narrative that flowed and was in most ways, very realistic. The concept and plot were interesting, with as many twists and unintentional references to my favourite things in life as possible.

Now, since I suck at summarising and am about as willing to do so as cut off my own foot, I'm just going to continue to ramble on about the book. The plot, which accommodated elements of mythology, romance (that, unsurprisingly enough, did want to make me murder someone, but whatever.) and as many twists as something twisty, as I cannot be bothered to come up with a metaphor or simile at this time of night. What I do admire about the concept of the entire series is the fact that pixies aren't romanticised, nor turned into something supposedly 'attractive', because that would butcher both my childhood and my sanity (or, whats left of it, anyway.). No, entirely the opposite. The 'ahaha, you'd never guess that our pixies are actually evil' approach is refreshing and bound to sell! Plus, violence is imminent, and for some reason unknown to both you and me, I enjoy seeing characters that I don't like being maimed and things. (And before you say, 'seek professional help', I would like to remind you that I already have. And they said I was fine. Ish.)

Now onto the characters. I used to like Zara. But being the versatile fangirl that I am, I have since stopped liking her and started to throw fictional tomatoes at her. If you don't know why I hate Zara, then you obviously haven't been reading this review. Oh well, allow me to explain. It will probably mark me as a hypocrite, but here is why I hate Zara at the moment: She is a pixie. I like the pixies in this book. Or, I used to. And I admire the author for adding in that specific plot twist, because it made the second book a whole lot more interesting. But Zara becoming a pixie is just ... no. I don't really have a reason for hating her (and now I am not allowed to have a Claire rant. Excuse, I'm going to cry in a corner.). Heh. I can do those things. (I mean, it's not like anyone cares about my opinion anyway.) Okay, ignoring my irrational hatred of the protagonist, Zara is a nice characters with an interesting (ish - if it had stayed beyond the middle of book two) personality and enough back bone to build a fence, if one wanted to do that. Now, Astley. I have grown to like Astley a whole lot more. (It probably has something to do with the fact that I started to envision him a bit like this, which meant that every scene was downright hilarious. I then came to my senses and switched my mental image of him to this. I am awfully sorry about that.) He is in possession of many things, things that I'm sure many other characters are envious of. Such as a back bone, a small sense of humour and a headcannon of mine that he looks like white-haired people I like in anime.

Now, moving on. Moving onto more characters, of course! (Duh. It's me. You should have been anticipating this. You shall have also been anticipating that I spelt that wrong.) I like Zara's friends. We-hee-elll, I would have liked them, had I remembered that they exist. Since Nick didn't get very much screen time, I have an equal amount to say about him. (Though, it would have caused a very humorous scene if he were to hook up with one of the Valkyries in Vanhalla, regardless of all of Zara's rescue efforts. I'm sorry. I really ought to stop discussing any ideas I have for terrible fanfictions with the internet.) One scenario that I do know will happen for sure (I can predict it with my none existent precognitive skills) is a showdown between Astley and Nick, which is unrelated, but bound to be entertaining. Anyway, since this review is made up of 90% of nonsense, I must now add to that statistic by speaking about the romance. Which, of course, will be nonsensical, and will probably be mistaken for a How To Use Your Fridge guide.

Now, did I claim biased neutrality last time I wrote a review for this series? No, though I did certainly say some peculiar things that somehow managed to get me quoted on the press release (yay!). Anyway, as of now, I declare complete neutrality, apart from the fact that now I think that Zara should either de-pixify herself, or choose Astley since she's a pixie now. Otherwise, I had to buy a new pot of brain bleach (because I saw the cover to the New Morganville Vampires book. Blech. I'd much rather live in blissful ignorance, thanks.) to sit through the romance. Also, I found it rather strange that while Zara claimed to be in love with Nick and all of that when she was doing some compromising things with Astley. Maybe it's just because I'm rather cynical when it comes down to it, or the fact that I may have to shrug that vow of neutrality because the yoai fangirl in me wants Astley to ... um, affiliate with Nick, I don't know.

And finally, I can write the conclusion. In conclusion, overall,and finally, I think that Entice is a good addition to the series. It cleaned a few hanging plot threads, and left some hanging. To be honest, I shall be waiting for the fourth book (yes! There is going to be one!) to fall onto my doorstep, provided that it stops snowing. Back onto the main subject, Entice was overall an enjoyable read, with somewhat likeable characters that I didn't completely hate (and I just realised that that didn't make a shred of sense, but whatever.), a flowing, gripping narrative and enough plot twists for said twists to create a large mountaineering team and for them to climb a Swiss Mountain. Now that I have run out of things to say, I am going to promote this book by threatening you with my (imaginary, yet strangely blood thirsty) pets! They will eat you, I say, with a smile, unless you buy this book!

Thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me this book for review.

★★★★

You should know that I'm not very well read ...

2010-12-03T01:15:00.001-08:00

But I love memes, so whatever. I found this over at my friend The Bookette's blog, which if you aren't doing so already, then you should follow, as her reviews beat my reviews, plus she's super nice.

In other words, this is BLISSFUL PROCRASTINATION. So here you go.

Instructions:

•Copy this list.
•Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety.
•Italicise the ones you started but didn’t finish or read only an excerpt.
•Tag other book nerds.
•Highlight the ones that you have but haven't read.

I don''t like rules, so I'm going to italicise the ones I have read, and bold the ones that I own and the ones that I haven't finished are going to be CAPSLOCK.

Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte - I have indeed read this, and Jane and Mr Rochester are very annoying.

Harry Potter series – JK Rowling - duh.

To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

The King James Bible

Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte - the narrator kind of sounds like a girl.

Nineteen Eighty Four (1984) – George Orwell

His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman - my favourite books, ever.

Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

Little Women – Louisa M Alcott - duh.

Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy

Catch 22 – Joseph Heller

Complete Works of Shakespeare - well, I read Macbeth ...

Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier

The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien (At least I read The Lord of the Rings)

Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk - I was looking at this in the bookshop the other day ...

Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger

The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger - My mum read it, and cried for a week, if that counts.

Middlemarch – George Eliot

Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh - I'll get rouund to it one day ...

Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck

Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll - I'm very much of a fail in a bag.

The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame

Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

David Copperfield – Charles Dickens

Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis - um, duh.

Emma -Jane Austen

Persuasion – Jane Austen

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe – CS Lewis - Of course.

The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres

Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden

Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
Animal Farm – George Orwell

The DaVinci Code – Dan Brown

One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving

The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins

Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery

Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy

The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

Lord of the Flies – William Golding

Atonement – Ian McEwan

Life of Pi – Yann Martel

Dune – Frank Herbert

Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons

Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen

A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth

The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon

A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon

Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

The Secret History – Donna Tartt

The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold - I saw the movie, and my sister's read it ... But she's obsessed, so I am refraining from reading it, as I like what's left of my sanity.

Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

On The Road – Jack Kerouac

Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy

Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding

Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie

Moby Dick – Herman Melville

Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens

Dracula – Bram Stoker

The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett

Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson

Ulysses – James Joyce

The Inferno – Dante

SWALLOWS AND AMAZONS BY SOMEONE WHO'S NAME I JUST DELETED, OOPS.

Germinal – Emile Zola

Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray

Possession – AS Byatt

Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens - Why, I read this every year, mon ami.

Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell

The Color Purple – Alice Walker

The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro

Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert

A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry

Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White

The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom

Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton

Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks

Watership Down – Richard Adams

A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute

The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

Hamlet – William Shakespeare

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl

Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Quite obviously, I am not very well read. My countinf skills are on the level of that of a five year old, but I think I've actually read 10 of those books. Siiiiigh. And there I thought I was actually a smart human being. *Goes to sulk in the corner of woe, and then goes to buy all of those books she hasn't read as a christmas present to herself from Amazon.*

Because I haven't got anything useful to say ...

2010-12-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

...You get this post. Well, actually you get this post because I have an ongoing feud with the autosave feature, and my reviews ( ~~that were oh so clever and wonderful~~) keep getting deleted. Okay, perhaps this is down to me forgetting to save my posts (and I accidently deleted half of my fanfiction. So I must vent. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.), but whatever. Now, onto the pointless post.

1. First of all, thanks so much for all of your lovely comments on my updates post. Sorry about how long it took me to thank you - I have this massive inconvenience in my life called school. Anyway, they made me feel all warm and special inside. But, you probably shouldn't give me too much of that 'sympathy' or 'attention' stuff, as it will inflate my ego even more than it already is, and I will be walking around with a head the size of Canada. (Previously, it was only the size of Lithuania.) Alternatively, I could end up looking like this. (No, not like a chibi. Smug, mein freund.)

2. It's snowing. And it's cold. Snow here is useless because there is never enough of it to build a snow man, or get you off of school. Basically, you just get frostbite sitting in a classroom with no heating, because the heater broke, when one of your oh-so-incredibly-clever classmates decides that it will be fun to practice their dance routine on it. However, there is enough for a snowball fight. :D

3. This post is pointless, and for that, I'm incredbily sorry. You don't have to comment, but ... I really like comments. Oh! I'm seeing the Harry Potter movie on Friday. I'm so excited. Okay, now I'm going to watch documentaries for I have no social life, nor anything else to occupy my time. Like those reviews I should be writing, for example ... Oh, damn it. I should really be doing that. :P

Ciao! I'm now going to procrastinate on writing some more reviews! And do some of that homework! Hope I've successfully wasted your time!^_^

This Post Consists of Random, Updates and More Random.

2010-11-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

Hello, there. I'm taking the opportunity to procrastinate on all of those reviews I should be writing. So I have myself a clean desk (yes, it was so messy I hardly knew I had one.), am about to find myself something to eat ("Because food is the easiest path to blissful procrastination!" To quote my favourite Hetalia character.), and almost steady internet connection, and I am going to deliver a post that unlike my other recent posts, are not completely made up out of fail.

This post doesn't really have anything to do with ... anything at all, really. I just feel the need to check that you people still care about my opinion. (If you ever did, that is. It's totally fine if you didn't, I'll just go and sulk in a corner, because I am an attention whore.) I am also a deep believer in Shameless Self Promotion, so I think you should press that button that says 'follow' in the cluttered sidebar (I'm going to clean it up ... some day.). Hahahahaha, I'm so sorry.

Now onto more things you probably do not care about!

1. A very long time ago, when I was off school, sick and idle, I got myself a LiveJournal account. Now, before you start your calls of 'traitor!' and start to throw your tomatoes, that is not the reason why I haven't been updating as much. No, that is because I have school and I am generally lazy and have no attention span. Now, if you are in interested in internet stalking, I mean, checking out said LJ account, then you can visit one of my many humble abodes of the internet, then all you have to do is click the oh, so clever link I made here. No, here. Oh, dammit, you might as well just click here.

2. I'm in what can officially be called a reading slump. I can never get attached to one book, and I seem to be reading really dreary material at the moment. I also have, like, no time at all to read. And it is depressing me. Oh well, it's the weekend and I can hopefully, have some time to improve upon the matter. But first, I need you to suggest to me some of your favourite feel good reads! Preferably, nothing to depressing! (Which defeats the point of 'feel good', but whatever!) And characters that will not put me into the epic corner of woe!

3. Oh, this blog is going to have some updates. Like the sidebar, for example. From some time on, it is going to become organised! Because I watched a show on organisation! (Well, actually, I watched a show about Polish - Lithuanian Commonwealth with an advert organising some kind for magical organisation, but whatever.) Because it is a mess. And then I am going to do the massive amount of work that is involved in organising the reviews page. If there happens to be a simpler way of linking all of my reviews into the page manually, then can you please tell me in the comments. BECAUSE I AM LAZY.

4. I haven't talked about comics in a while. I think I might as well do that right now. If that puts you off in any manner at all, then feel free to skip this paragraph. I am incredibly sorry about that. (For some reason, I feel incredibly obliged to apologise for everything I do today. And yet, I have no idea why.) One of my favourite characters (the one who still has hands.) has recently received her own series. And that series is bloody brilliant. Though, if there is one thing I object to, it's the art. It's all orange and every character looks like they were made out of playdoe. In fact, I shall provide an example. (Because I enjoy giving you nightmares. Not that it would, but Hell!Wolverine is kind of uglier than normal.)

5. And now I conclude. I have really nothing else to say, and I don't expect that many comments on this post, as it has been, as the title indicates, incredibly random. (Though, any help on wasting my time trying to organise this blog that doesn't include Manual Labour would be much appreciated.) Expect more lacklustre reviews, and a hopefully brand new side bar! Ciao! (Heh. Look at my terribly Italian and be jealous. Next year, I am going to New York so I will learn how to speak American.)

Review: 13 to Life by Shannon Delany (BLOG TOUR)

2010-10-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Something strange is stalking the small town of Junction…When junior Jess Gillmansen gets called out of class by Guidance, she can only presume it’s for one of two reasons. Either they’ve finally figured out who wrote the scathing anti-jock editorial in the school newspaper or they’re hosting yet another intervention for her about her mom. Although far from expecting it, she’s relieved to discover Guidance just wants her to show a new student around—but he comes with issues of his own including a police escort. The newest member of Junction High, Pietr Rusakova has secrets to hide--secrets that will bring big trouble to the small town of Junction—secrets including dramatic changes he’s undergoing that will surely end his life early.

Many know that I'm a true believer in reading books that are good for the soul. By 'good for the soul', I mean books that do not have to be good, books you know that you will enjoy and books that you will enjoy to hate on later in life and on the internet. (You cannot deny that this particular action isn't fun.) I count books regarding the supernatural, boarding schools and historical fiction among these numbers. So you can imagine that 13 to Life held rather a lot of appeal to me. Also, please ignore that oath I made about swearing off all reading of supernatural romances because they are slowly rotting away my brain. (And I need that brain, as I have a history test next week.) But for this one book, I made an exception. (And that will be my excuse for any time in the future when I read a book that I have no reason to read, other than pure indulgence.)

Though I refuse to take a team, I foresee that this book will be a giant hit with those unvictorious souls who decided to take one of the less disgusting options, otherwise known as Team Jacob. (Actually, I take back that silly little comment on being neutral, I am on Team Tylers Van. And about any of the options being disgusting, as I do not want to be mauled by rabid fangirls.) This book tastefully involves romance, werewolves, romance, werewolves, vampire books, and as an added bonus, the Russian Mafia and some probably unintentional references to my favourite things in life. (Though this could be me being a super obsessive fangirl.) But now, I need to tell you what really makes this book good, not just the appeal it held for me. I mean, what does not appeal to you about this book? It has all of the aspects I mentioned above, aspects that I would presume would appeal to you readers, keeping up with the current times.

My notes, which are the textual equivalent to god when I am writing these reviews, now tell me that I must either make entertaining and witty banter for an entire paragraph, or actually inform the readers about the book. Because talking about both of the aforementioned subjects would be challenging at this time of night, I am just going to combine the two as I do in normal circumstance. Though, I have no idea why I am telling you my plans for this review ... Anyway, the plot was well structured and the narrative didn't make me want to smash up the book with a various gardening instruments (Thank god for that, as I think I have to send it to the next person on the tour.). This is my cryptic way of telling you that the main character does not inspire me to write a 5,000 word essay on how much I hated her. (And I have done this before, and I will not hesitate to do so again. I will even post it on the internet!) Which brings me to the subject of characters.

You should know by now that the characters in books are important to me. If I do not like the characters, then it is most likely that I will not like the book and then you will not get a review, but a illegible rant on how much I hate everyone, and everything. However, Jess was somewhat different from the other 'heroines' that have spammed the YA genre of late. She is actually in possession of the near extinct spine - sure, she is lacking some part of it, but still. She has also been hoarding a somewhat decrepit sense of humour. But an old model is better than no model at all, a proverbial used car salesmen told my parents a very long time ago. (We never did buy a car, as he was to busy giving out stupid proverbs rather than selling us a car. Also, we didn't buy a car as I just made that up.) This may shock you, so please try not to pass out, but I did not hate Pietr. Your head may explode now - mine nearly did, for this must have been first time where I have actually not wanted to murder the love interest. Why may this be? Because for the first time in a very long time, the love interest in a supernatural romance was not Generic Supernatural Male 'Hottie', but someone with a personality.

However much I would like to continue my novel on the characters of 13 to Life, I must now write a book on the romance. Did I feel the need to use half the bottle of Brain Bleach after there was a moment? No, but this may because I downed it all when I read the last Blue Bloods book. Still, it's a good sign. As is the fact that I didn't feel the need to go and write copious amounts of slash fan fictions after every moment. Jess and Pietr had something that other fictional couples have - whether this was the fact that they were being stalked by the Russian Mafia I do not know. However, since it was not another case of 'I love you' after perhaps two days in the relationship, this book earns more and more Brownie Points. (Does that makes? Probably not, as it is the middle of the night and I am not feeling particulary well.) But what I am trying to convey to you is that for the first time in the distant past and foreseeable future, he romance got a thumbs up from me.

It now appears that I have come to the conclusion of my review. This review probably contains enough evidence to land me in the loony bin for good, enough persuasive evidence to get you to read 13 to Life, and history in the making. Regardless of any random spam I have to say, my point is that unlike the majority of the books in it's genre, 13 to Life is actually a good, fun and enjoyable read. What more can you ask for in a book? Other than a nice cover, that is. (I happen to dislike this book's cover myself. It's so nondescript and dull. Also, the giant watermarked eye creeps me out.) And characters that you do not want to murder. Anyway, the Darklings and I believe that you are going to enjoy this book. Yes, that's right. The Book Bug Wants You To Read This Book! (Please ignore the overall corniness of this statement.)

★★★★

Review: Girls to Total Goddesses by Sue Limb

2010-10-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

Zoe and Chloe have a mission: to transform themselves into goddesses in seven days (or thereabouts anyway - eight if they need the extra time). But who for? Zoe has a horrible dilemma. Having hated the horrible Beast for making Chloe's life a misery, Zoe has now realised that all was not as it seemed. When Beast came to both their rescue, Zoe's heart was completely overturned. But Zoe has told him she never wants to see him again. And how can she get him back without upsetting Chloe? And - more importantly - how can she compete with the gorgeous new girl on the scene, Charlie, with her trim hips, speckly eyes, fabulous mascara and tawny skin? The Goddess Project just got even more complicated ...

Everyone knows, or should know, that I have many obsessions. You should know this. The first and foremost of all of those obsessions, is books (Obviously. I mean, what is this blog dedicated to, again? And if you say Swiss Cheese or arcane torture, then I strongly suggest you make an appointment at your local doctor.) The second happens to be anything related to X - Men. (No, really?) The third, and probably the most unknown, is Axis Powers Hetalia. (Most people will have no idea what the hell I am talking about, but whatever.) And the fourth, is Sue Limb books. They are on a completely different scale to normal books. They are too awesome to be fitted into the category of 'modern teenage romance'. They're more than that. Honestly. And though the Zoe and Chloe is no way near as good as Girl, 15, there are still many legitimate reasons why you should read it, not just because 'some crazy girl on the internet told me too'. (Said crazy girl is me.)

And today, I am going to explore the legitimate reasons as to why you should read this book. If you are a fan of those adorable little things called YA romance novels, then you will adore this book. However, if you are a person with tastes leaning more towards the humour category, then you also love this book. And if you're a purist, then you will value the ever twisty plots, the amusing narrative and the well developed characters. As I count myself in all categories, this book was a win win read. And so should you. If you read this book, and give it a positive review, then you can have one cookie. And a half, if I'm feeling generous. Anyway, now that I have tousled with my microwave (Hey, did you know that you were supposed to bake cookies in an oven?) I am going to praise the book even more.

I'm pretty sure that you will be well and truly tired of me by the time this review ends (people have told me that one of my reviews is the text equivalent of someone poking you will with a continual flow of the word 'bother'. Needless to say, I ... said some things to that person I am not entirely proud off. Don't worry - we're friends again now.), so I am now going to give you the important facts about this book. It is crucial that you read it. Especially if you have just had a horrible day - seeing other people suffer in comical ways is guaranteed to cheer you up. (Whether this is my sadistic disposition somehow elbowing it's way into my everyday life or a proven fact that this actually brightens peoples days, I don't know.) See, I have just handed you another sackful of reasons as to why you should read this book! So what are you going to do? Read this book!

Ahhh, yes! I do believe that now is the time where I discuss, or rather, have a one sided conversation with my computer, but whatever, characters. From this point on, I take back any horrible things I have said in the past or future (I mean, please ignore any untoward comments about them in the future.) about Beast and Chloe. Because they were perfectly fine in this book. Perfectly tolerable, well rounded characters with their own personalities and some very interesting choices of clothing. (I never knew that you could get turtle printed dresses.) Zoe has never been annoying, so yeah. Basically everything I am going to say has been said before, so I am just going to pass my (metaphoric) stamp of approval and move onto the stuff that people are apparently really interested in. Which means the romance apparently. (Wow. This may be the first time ever that I have not launched myself head first into a rant about characters. I'm so proud of myself!)

Many know of my ... dislike (please read that as hatehatehateit and I want it to die) of romance in novels. Comics and manga, however, are a completely different story. (I admit to being something of a ... yaoi fangirl when push comes to shove. But please, if one if you have managed to locate my slash fic account, then please don't use it against me.) Anyway, the romance in any of Sue Limbs books are some of the most entertaining teenage romances I have ever read. Because they are none too soppy, and the characters retain their personalities even after they have entered into a relationship. Oh, and there is a lot of teasing, which is kind of painful for the reader to sit through and not scream 'just make out already' at the book. (I have done this in a room filled with near strangers. Let us just say that making friends was quickly eliminated.) But if you enjoy that sort of thing, then this book is for you.

I'm pretty sure that this review could be summed up in one short - ish sentence, as follows: haha I love Sue Limbs books she is a good haha you should read them haha or I will murder you with a broom! Whatever, that was what I was meaning to say. And I'm not completely serious about the broom murdering threats, by the way. (I shall repeat myself, I do not need therapy.) But this series is great, and I think you should read it. In order, which I did unknowingly. Anyway, they are seriously great. The characters, the plots and the shenanigans, of course! I bet you (nothing!) that you will enjoy them. If nothing else, than they will cheer you up and make you happy. (Wait a second ...) So go and buy these books, and read them. It will be an investment.

★★★★★

Review: Almost True by Keren David

2010-10-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Ruthless killers are hunting Ty so the police move him and his mum to a quiet seaside town. But a horrific attack and a bullet meant for Ty prove that he’s not safe. On the road again, Ty’s in hiding with complete strangers . . . who seem to know a lot about him. Meanwhile he’s desperate to see his girlfriend Claire, and terrified that she may betray him. Ty can’t trust his own judgement and he’s making dangerous decisions that could deliver him straight to the gangsters. A thrilling sequel to When I Was Joe, shot through with drama and suspense.

To be honest, I have absolutely no idea as to how I am going to start this review. I did write a review for the last book in the series a long time ago - which as far as I can remember, contained some of the best proof that I am indeed a lunatic fangirl (and it contains some of the best proof that I am unable to use a spell checker) - and if any of you even make a comment on this, then I shall assert this lunacy into a place where it is going to really hurt you. (While I was re-reading this after I have read this, I just realized that this could be mistaken for a really dirty joke. Apologies, my friends.) For some reason or another, I felt the need to tell you that rather irrelevant piece of information. Now, I am going to actually discuss the book. So please expect a very biased, mildy funny and somewhat insane review of Almost True by Keren David.

I loved the previous book in the series. Because of my somewhat ... irritated disposition, I am not known to like books as much as I did with the previous one in the series. And this book was no exception - it took me forever to finish, but is hardly because it is a bad book. No, it is because I was trying to procure a life on eBay. (This was on a friends recommendation. It turned out that she was trying to scam me for money.) And do other, variously dull, school related things. And before I become distracted once again, I must convey an urgent message to you. And that message is that this book is awesome and you must all read it. Your life depends on it. (I tell you no lies, it contains crucial information about your survival of the imminent alien invasion.)

And now my plans tell me that I am supposed to talk about the things that you people actually care about - but as I am what my friends would often dub unconventional (Actually, they call me inconvenient, but whatever.) I shall be explaining why this book is made of win. This book is made of win, by the way. If you have not realized this by now, then kindly get out. And come back next time, for I may be less offending to you in the future. Anyway, there are several components that make up the win that makes up this book. Firstly, it is the complexity of the plot. Each chapter had at least one twist in it. The narrative is as realistic as I can imagine, for I am not a teenage boy, nor do I wish to be, so I cannot tell you how realistic it is. Anyway, it was realistic enough to the point of being tasteful. The characters were what you can call unique, yet they could also be people that you could encounter in your (not so) every day lives. For all of these small and large and blah blah blah sized details, I applaud the author. She carried every single thing out well. She gets a smiley face from me about it. (Don't worry; this one is natural. I did not buy it off of eBay.)

Now comes the important time when I am supposed to have a one sided argument with my computer regarding the characters - or so my notes tell me, anyway. But I do not trust these so called notes, for they have already told me several lies that have created dilemmas in my virtual life. The main character of this book is called Ty. Joe, or any other name (whichever you prefer) that the police have assigned to him throughout the book, if you had not gathered. Ty, Joe, or whatever else you may want to call him is a very well rounded character. He has all of the characteristics of a teenage boy - but these characteristics were tinged with various other traits, traits that I am happy to say cannot be found in the average teenage boy. (Like a belt, for example.) There were a few times when I wanted certain characters to die in a hole. However, when I explained the situation to my friend, they (forcefully) made me see the light by playing the 'but look at what they have been through' card. Anyway, thumbs up for the characterisation. If the author is reading this, then you have my undying approval. (Not that this is worth very much; you could probably buy half a cashew nut with it. Maybe even less. Perhaps I should look into this?)

You know, I was just going to complain about the romance when I realized that I was doing it on autopilot. I suddenly remembered that there are more characters that I need to hate upon, or worship in my own obscure way. Claire annoyed me rather a lot, in the previous book. She was not in much of this book, but for the parts she was in, she seemed much less weak and surprisingly less dull. For this, I can thanks the book gods. (Because there is definitely a higher power reining over the authors imagination, other than the authors imagination.) However, this is a twist. Claire revealed herself as a Twilight fan. I almost liked you, Claire. Even if you did hate Breaking Dawn, you shall not be forgiven for your sins. You will have to suffer the torture of bad shojo manga to repent from your sins, in a fanfiction that I will put together sometime soon.

And now, I do believe that the miniature Claire rant that I know I am going to regret later hiding above, I think it is time to spread my views about the romance in this novel. Because this book is mainly action and plot centred, the romance is slightly sparse. But what was in there was incredibly tastefully done, did not make me feel as if I needed to go and buy several packets of brain bleach. (Fortunately for me, it is often on special at Tesco's.) Anyway, the romance was good. It did not feel fake, and I am sure that Joe's feelings on the matter (however trivial and entertaining to poke fun at) would be authentic if one was in his position. And as for everything else in this book, the romance in Almost True gets a thumbs up. It may be the first romance this year that did not want to make me flush my head down the loo. (Why I would want to do that is both a mystery to me and you.)

There is almost nothing that is not overly positive I can say about this book. Almost True is amazing, and it climbing it's way to the top of the List of My Favourite Books, as we speak. Well, I write and you read, but whatever. Keren David is an extraordinary writer, and if you don;t go and read her books and praise her almost immediately, then I promise that I will virtually murder you with a broom. (In the best way possible, mind you. Oh, and yes, I do know that I am insane, thank you very much. There is nothing that you or I can do about it.) The plot and the characterization are perfect, the cover isn't quite perfect but whatever. Small details do not concern me, for this book is compelling. So much so, and please disregard that comment on how long it took me to read this. Just that part, though. Not the part about it being good. It is very good, which is why the Darklings and me believe that you should read it. We are not misguided for once.

★★★★★

Review: Girls, Muddy, Moody yet Magnificent by Sue Limb

2010-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

Zoe and Chloe have already survived one threat to their friendship in the form of the devilish Beast, who toyed cruelly with Chloe's affections. Now the girls are back on track and hatching a plan to go down to Newquay, rent a caravan and have a great time. But first they have to earn some cash, which they do via much back-breaking work growing veg for a farmer's market stall. Finally they get to Newquay ...bliss! Freedom! So why does the terrible Beast have to turn up? Zoe is furious. But does Beast have a - up till now very much hidden - soft centre? It's time to have a rethink on the nature of the Beast ...

Before I start to rave nonsensically about this book, I must make one thing clear to you. And that one thing is that Sue Limb is a goddess among us mere mortals. Everything she writes should be revered throughout the land. (Huh. It appears that not even the first sentence of this review shall be remotely lucid.) Whether it be slash fan fiction or one of her books, I am demanding that you make a shrine and dedicate it to her writing. Right after you have read this review, though. For I foresee that this may either be the worst work of my writing career or some of the best I have ever typed. So gather round, loyal followers - for I am going to tell a tale about an intriguing tale of comical teenagerdom.

This so called tale of teenagerdom occurs in the modern era, and therefore some very modern comedy pursues our troubled and more than a little hilarious heroines. Firstly, there are cows. Real authentic farm animals, if I recall correctly. And then there is (somewhat) glamorous beach towns involved, towards the end. But I shall not spoil the story for anymore, no I am going to talk about the quality of this novel. If one asked me to define this statement, then I would have to write some fangirly nonsense that I am sure would make no sense, not even to me. And besides, I already did this when I was talking to my friends earlier. But the message that I am trying to convey is that Sue Limb can write. Anything she writes, I will enjoy. Her books will have so much awesome in them, that your head may be in danger of exploding. Mine nearly did, twice. And I still have a headache to this day because of the awesome.

Sure, the writing may not be the best and sometimes the plots are recycled. But the narrative is realistic and recycling will save the planet. (True facts, mon ami. Also, please note that this will be the only time that I will ever forgive a book for having a bad trait. Most likely ever.) But there is one positive act you can relay on when reading a Sue Limb book, it is that they will be a consistently good read. I tell you the true, reader. The truth, all of the truth and nothing but the truth. They are constantly side splitting funny, to boot. In truth, there are countless reasons that I employ to make you read this book. And because of those countless reasons, which shall remain unmentioned, you should read this book.

I mentioned in my last review of this series that I find it increasingly amusing as to how I cannot relate to people who have the same name as me in fiction. And strangely enough, a fair share of them are red heads. I am not a red head, nor do I wish to be. (All I wish that my hair would not attempt to cosplay as Hermione all the time.) Also, the people who share a name with me tend to annoy me. I also have a habit of thinking that I am better than them - because I am the original. (I am truly sorry about this. I have a rather small superiority complex.) Zoe was fine, she had a pretty good character overall. But I could not stand Chloe. She had no spine to speak off and is always being a selfish brat - I have no idea why anyone puts up with her.

As of now, I am officially a Beast/Zoe shipper. For a good definition of this term often used in pop culture, please google it as I cannot be bothered to explain the term to you. Anyway, I am so familiar with Sue Limbs writing style that I could see this coming from a mile and a half away. But this can also be explained by my somewhat ill defined precognitive abilities that I really do have, so please ignore anything contrary I have said until I tell you to do otherwise. The one thing that I love about Sue Limb romances is the fact that however much I try to, I just cannot hate them. Even if I do dislike the love interest, the protagonist will eventually see the errors of her ways. So, you can count this as one of the very few times that the romance did not irk me as much as it usually would in any other books.

I think that it would probably be a sign of Armageddon if I did not ever not enjoy a Sue Limb book. They are constantly witty, the characters are well developed and the plot never ceases to amuse. This book is no exception. And I think that it would bring upon the Armageddon if you didn't read one. Specifically this book. If one is having withdrawals from shojo manga, like me, then I suggest you pick one up. Because there is nothing better than reading a text equivalent of teenage girl comics. Overall, an excellent addition to the series. You should read all of them. (And Fruit Baskets, considering we are on the subject of shojo manga.) I bid thee farewell, for I am going to kindly blackmail people into reading this while I walk my Darkling Army.

★★★★

Review: Cathy's Key by Jordon Weissman, Sean Stewart and Cathy Briggs

2010-09-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

When the laboratory technicians working for Ancestor Lu discover the key to the immortality genetic structure, Victor names it the 'Cathy Key' in honour of his quest to make Cathy immortal. Ancestor Lu humours him. But when events go fatally wrong and a Fortune Teller's grim prophecy comes true, soon a homicide investigation is underway and Cathy, once again, is a little too close for comfort Cathy's Key is a brilliantly involved thriller, a love story and an entirely interactive experience with further developments to the website, phone numbers and online activity which make this package so unique and special.

It appears that I shall be reading this series backwards. Though not an unusual phenomenon for me, just figured that I should give you note unless one of you makes the mistake of following in my footsteps. But backwards or not, this series never fails to be entertaining. Whether it will remain a trilogy is a mystery, but it would be such a shame to leave such an an entertaining series of books in the lurch. But whatever, for today I am here to talk about this book. Not the rest of the series, or anything else I feel like talking about, but Cathy's Key. Because I am able to dish out spoilers, judge how much the books have improved and other things like that, I feel particularly special. Do not ask why, let us just refer to this particular feeling as a mystery of the universe and leave it at that.

If there is one thing that impresses me about these books that is not the cute little doodles in the margins, it is the plot. The authors (Yes, it appears that there are three of them - if amazon is not telling me lies, that is. Because I refuse to believe that the next Car Royal novel comes out in August of next year. I am not going to rant about how long I have been waiting for that book. Because it would probably be out by the time that I have finished.) have managed to cram about a thousand twist into the space of two hundred pages. Naturally, I'm impressed. Because this must have taken brain power, and a lot of effort. And now, I am onto raving about the writing! Because I don't get payed for it! Wait ... that doesn't sound entirely right ... That's because I don't get paid. Bummer. Anyway, what was I talking about again? Oh yes, the writing.

If one compares the average paranormal romance to Cathy's Key, then you will have too completely different things. This former of the two will often not be very well written and over dramatic, also favouring the use of the word 'irrational' over all of it's synonyms. And then Cathy's Book has a realistic narrative - meaning that the word irrational is not even mentioned (and before some spiteful someone decides to prove me wrong and finds at least two uses of the word in the book, it was a generalisation.), the narrative is original and realistic sounding, sometimes witty and I know that I will have to give into the pressure of the spellchecker afterwards, so what the hell - the writing flowed. Yes, that is right - I wrote something that sounded remotely deep. What is this strange phenomenon?! I wonder if it is related to that strange sandwich the school canteen was offering at lunch?

Cathy was not a cryptic character, as the blurb attempts to convince us. No, she was a perfectly understandable character. With a spine, no less. Oh, did I forget to mention something flattering about her sense of humour? Though it is not quite as advanced as mine, or at least the one I assume I have, for you guys are always raving about it in the comments. (Thanks! And, fun fact: It is not advisable to compliment me, for it is most likely to go to my head. Big time.), but it was definitely there. Unlike my brain, which it appears that my friends have decided to sell on eBay. (Damn. It's a bid as well!) Anyway, I think I have made my dislike of Victor clear in my last review. I hate him as much and as intensely as one would hate ... someone they hate. As you can tell, I have exhausted all of my creativity on an essay about the American Revolution. Anyway, I'm sure you can imagine what I was going to say. Because I hate to admit that it seems I am rather predictable.

Apparently, I am so much so that you guessed that this paragraph would be dedicated to the romance. Well, it is not! It is going to be devoted to ... dammit, it seems that I am predictable, for this paragraph is going to be dedicated the romance. Which you can guess that I hated. Many of you know my views on supernatural creatures to human relationships. I think that they are sick and wrong. Though there was not much in Cathy's Key - it was more focused on the plot, than anything else - and the alternative looked a bit like a supply teacher I had in Year Four (I remember this far back because he resembled a pug, rather.), I shall be taking Team Switzerland; because the Swiss seem to be constantly neutral. And I also know that this is going have to be spell checked. Sigh.

Overall, it was an enjoyable addition to the series. I cannot wait to read the first book! Huh ... that did not sound completely right. Oh well. I think that should read this series. Using the right chronology, of course. I only read books and series in this order because it's conventional and I am incredibly lazy. Anyway, the quality of this series is down to several things. The characters and the unique personalities, the amusement I got from the narrative and the original concept of the entire novel. I could probably supply several other reasons, probably more valid ones, but it is late, and I am tired. I also feel the need to go and read now. So farewell, and next time you are at a place that happens to have this book, whether it be a bookshop/library/an acquaintances house/hell/wherever, remember to buy it, borrow it, steal it, or 'acquire' a copy!

★★★★

Review: White Cat by Holly Black.

2010-09-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Cassel is cursed. Cursed by the memory of the fourteen year old girl he murdered. Life at school is a constant trial. Life at home even worse. No-one at home is ever going to forget that Cassel is a killer. No-one at home is ever going to forget that he isn't a magic worker. Cassel's family are one of the big five crime families in America. Ever since magic was prohibited in 1929 magic workers have been driven underground and into crime. And while people still need their touch, their curses, their magical killings, their transformations, times have been hard. His granddad has been driven to drink, his mother is in prison and his brothers detest him as the only one of their family who can't do magic. But there is a secret at the centre of Cassel's family and he's about to inherit it. It's terrifying and that's the truth. The White Cat is a stunning novel of a world changed by magic. In this world only 1% of the population can work magic but they have the power of nightmares.

There could be many reasons why I did not enjoy this book as much as I should. Was it pehaps because I am jealous of Holly Blacks hair? For, you must admit that it is awesome. Perhaps this is what was preventing me from enjoying the book to it full potential? No, that can't be it. I own several hats with animal faces on - therefore pwning any eloborate dye job and or haircut that the hair dresser ever offers you. So what can be this mysterious reason, for it was not a bad book, all in all? Well, there may be a scientific reason. How can this be, you ask? For you know me so well that you know that I do not like science. Deduction, my dear Watson. I mean, reader. Anyway, I am not an easy person to please, contrary to whatever I have told you in the past. I am not fond of books with slow starts. The only time that I make an exception for a book with a slow start is when they are beautifully written, or a Morganville Vampire novel.

But my irrational moaning or not, White Cat was not a bad book. No, not anywhere near. If one dives into it large pages(that smell really rather perculair, now that I think about it.), - I do not avise this if you are allergic to cats - then you will find a well structured and complex plot, positive character developement, and a very original concept. For some reason, I have this complex about people with powers. If one ever crops up on my travels throughout the YA genre, then I will hug them and claim them to be mine forever. So far, I ahve about seventeen of them following the swish of my travelling cloak. (Yes, I am indeed indeed in posession of one of these things. Be jealous. Oh, the things you find on eBay

Curse Workers themselves are a faily original idea - and all of the consequences that entrails are really rather amusing. I just love it when choas decides to stalk everyone esle but me. It is well known that I adore to see people suffer in comical ways. And this book filled my quota of comic sadism for the week. Also, there are cats. I do not have a cat, but whenever I see a kitten, my hardened and saractic exterior (I bought this on eBay as well.) fades away and I automatically go into a mantra of KYOOOOT ... SOOO CUUUUTE until the people around me decide to call the police and or an ambulance. And therein lies the appeal of the book and what made me spend all of that money I had dedicated to the cause of buying myself a new bag. Hmm, oh well.

Cassel seemed to be extreodinarily fine with thinking that he was a murderer. I'm not sure whether this was compltely correct, but this reminds me of this meme that my friends take part in whenever we have nothing better to do. We say to eachother when our conversations, usually animated and lively, come to the inevitable awquard pause. One of us enquires to another, "So ... Killed anyone lately?". This is what Cassel's guilt felt like to me - entirely fake and nonchalont. Whether this is my fault for not paying enough attention to what I was reading, or whether I have been reading too many paranormal romances lately, I do not know. But otherwise, it was refreshing to read a book about someone who was not a) melodramatic ("Don't you get it? I'm a killer." Don't you get it, nobody cares?) Number b) an idiot, for once. Lila seems to be the kind of person that weedles her way into everything, is loved by everything with a brain and is blessed with immense powers. I absolutely hate this character steroetype. It's annoying, and when there is no one there to hate on this character, then it is dull as hell in my imagination. Which, for your information, is an average geography lesson.

Today, I bring you a moan about romance in novels. What? You were actually getting used to me liking the romance in the books that I read? I am offended, people. Offended and hurt that you would honestly think that those examples lately were more than one of times. Offended and hurt, people. Unless you have already logged off of the sight, because you feel that there was going to be an incoming storm of complaintsd and about fictional romance in general, and barely nothing regarding the actual book. This is a normal phenomenon for me, but today such things shall not be prohibited. No, I am going to give logical reasons why I did not like the romance. Firstly, I do not buy the whole loved you since we were young, thing. (My friend recently had a boyfriend who said this to her when asking her out. He was subsequently dumped after three days of a relationship. In other words, he got OWNED. Sucker.) And ... that is the only reason I have that does not sound more than a little offensive

I do believe that I must finish this review, so overall, not a bad book. But there is that important mystery element that I caused such a fuss over earlier in this review. It had a twisty plot, an intirguing narrative and a concept that was carried out well through out of the book ... Oh, and cats. The cover is sufficently pretty and the kitty on the cover is cute enough to cure any emoness I feel dwelling in me this week (And on the American cover, there is a hot guy holding a cat. Score!). And though I am not going to force this on you, an the darklings shall remain in there kennels for the night, but I am making a kind - ish suggestion that you read this book. And shall be virtually poking you until I do. So overall, a good book and I feel that you shall enjoy it. (I also adore the Spiderwick Chronicles, by the way. I just felt the need to convey this.)

★★★★

Review: Frankie Foster Fizzie Pop by Jean Ure

2010-09-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

This book comes out in absolutely ages, so I am unable to find a cover and camera is not working, so I am very sorry about that. Also, the lateness of this post. Enjoy!

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Frankie Foster loves fixing people's problems. Her help might not always be welcome –and she might cause the odd total disaster – but Frankie always fixes things. Eventually!It all started with the “My Beginnings” essays that Frankie and her classmates had to write for English. Her best friend, Jem, wrote all about how she felt being adopted and it was so good it got chosen to be read out at the end of term Speech Day! But writing the essay stirs up some questions for Jem, and she starts wondering about the identity of her biological mum. Needless to say, Frankie jumps at the chance to uncover the mystery and makes it her mission to reunite mother and daughter… regardless of the consequences!

Okay, before you critisize me for reading books meant for people younger than me, I have several excuses at my disposal. Firstly, this book was sent to me to review, therefore it is my duty to review it. Also, I practically taught myself how to read (Yes. Be very impressed.), I feel that I am entitled to read whatever I want. Whether it be childrens books or X-men comics. Or this. Anyway, I looked at the cover and immediatly thought light relief. So those are the reasons I shall give you for for reading this book. So was it the light relief that you wanted, you enquire, fairly unintersted. Yes, I reply. Yes, it was. Oh, and I must confess - I have never read a Jean Ure book before. Please keep your virutal gardening instruments locked up for the time being.

The premise for this book is fairly simple; they actual book is much more developed. Frankie inner monologue was fairly entertaining - though most of this was because she was very much subject to bad luck. And so much so that it almost beats my unimaginable bad luck. (Seriously. My computer broke twice in a week, I have a killer cold, and I have LOTS of homework. At this point, I believe the term cough choke flail and die is appropraite. I shall also be using this excuse for why my reviews are so lacklustre lately.) But her lack of luck was to the point of being humouruous, so whatever. I shall complain no more. About the book anyway. My personal life only comes into it when I feel like being whiny.

Irrelvent moans aside, Frankie Foster really stuck a cord. Frankie sounded unbelievably similar to my nine year old self. Whether all nine year old girls sound like this is something I have little to no idea about, but if nothing else, I can label the book as being believable. However, having narrative that rings true comes with a price. This book was not particularly well - written, but I just realised that most people do not care about such things ... Reader, you care, right? Please care ... I don't want to be the only one. You have to care! You must care! You will care ... Snapping out of my impulsive yandere hissy fit, but considering the entertainmetn I got out of this book, I shall overlook the really rather rubbishy writing. Only once, though.

Frankie is a character that I am sure many people will be able to relate to; and I would probably be among this crowd if I was a few years younger. Of course, I am sure that I would have been slightly more annoying. Anyway, Frankie had a rather surprising amount of the Compulsary Components that make a good character for someone so young. She had more personality than many characters in YA literature that have ben deemed 'original and actually likeable, for once' by none other than myself. (Whether this is a bi - product of my automatic hate for anything that is not my laptop is something I shall look into.) She was also in possession of a sense of humour, if that is what one would like to call it, uncannily like mine. Oh, I forgot to tell you that you that she has a spine. It seems that my friends automatically assume that characters do not have spine unless I sing said characters praises. Now, I would preadch happily about how all of these characters are an example to other characters, but I think I shall say that Jean Ure is a goddess when it comes to character development and leave it at that.

Because there was the much needed lack of romance, obsessing over boys in this book that I needed. And before you decide to confer with me about the nonsensicalness of the previous sentence, yes I am aware that my grammer needs work. But that shall not be the subject matter of this entire paragraph. No, I am in fact am going to fangirl over the plot. It was amazing how the author managed to pack so many twist into the plot. I am impressed. And therefore I order you to envision a picture of me fangirling over this book. Please include an english valley girl accent.

Overall, Frankie Foster Fizzie Pop is not only a case of great alliteration, but a great book. I do believe that I got a bit too much enjoyment out of all of it. But really, what is there not to enjoy? Because we are well supplied of likeable characters, a good plot and a new take on a well used idea. Oh, and before I finish my review while threatening you with imaginry pets, I must apolgise for my lack of Jean Ure books. I promise that I will read some in future. So ... in check, the Darklings are all in favour of supporting this book through its travels towards your bookshelf. And yes, I am aware that that last sentence just made no sense.

Thanks to HarperCollins for sending me a copy to review.

★★★★

Review: The Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

2010-09-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

I have a cold. I get one every year and every year they try to kill me. You may worry, but I shall survive.

Magic is dangerous—but love is more dangerous still.When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England, the time is the reign of Queen Victoria, and something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos. Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters, members of a secret organization called The Pandemonium Club, Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability: the power to transform, at will, into another person. What's more, the Magister, the shadowy figure who runs the Club, will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own. Friendless and hunted, Tessa takes refuge with the Shadowhunters of the London Institute, who swear to find her brother if she will use her power to help them. She soon finds herself fascinated by—and torn between—two best friends: Jem, whose fragile beauty hides a deadly secret, and blue-eyed Will, whose caustic wit and volatile moods keep everyone in his life at arm's length...everyone, that is, but Tessa. As their search draws them deep into the heart of an arcane plot that threatens to destroy the Shadowhunters, Tessa realizes that she may need to choose between saving her brother and helping her new friends save the world...and that love may be the most dangerous magic of all.

I don't know about you, but if there is one thing that annoys me about publishers, it's when they assume that teenager girls will buy the book if it has a cheesy line about how love is dangerious, imprtant or will 'conquer all'. And what annoys me more is the fact that this particular marketing ploy actually works. Am I the only one who sees how stupid it sounds? Because sometimes I honestly feel like the only one. Siiiigh. Anyway, as this irritates me in general you can probably imagine how angry I was when I found the line above braned on a book that I had been waiting months for, to say in the least. (To give you a hint, it was something like a mini hurricane. Just with the only casualties being a few books falling of the shelf.)

But was it worth the wait, you enquire in your second rate impression of a news reporter, because you feel the good one is wasted upon me. (Well, I can tell you that I am deeply dissapointed with the fact.) Well ... this is kind of hard to expain. Yes, it was worth the wait. But ... Hmmm ... How shall I say this? Just spit it out, you add irritably - for that is one of the things I do best. Anyway, many know of my ... slight obsession with the Mortal Instruments series. (If one wants to know more about this obsession, then I shall refer you to my terrible reviews. But whatever you do, do not ask my friends.) But the Infernel Devices series has failed to capture me in that way - it was a good book, but not completely amazing.

Allow me to eloborate; I think that some of the fault lies in the characterization. All of the characters were interesting and indivusual - apart from the main character. Tessa was boring for at least half of the book. Apparently I had forgotten that Cassandra Clare's books do not just get an emotional reaction from me, but an audbile reaction. I feel the need to talk to the book, scream at it and at some points, express love for it. So in the early story, I gave my opinion to an (thank god) empty room. "Grow a spine, Tessa." But otherwise, the plot was solid (yes, that is my lame replacement for 'twisty') and the writing was fairly pretty. (It also had poetry at the beggining of the chapter. Proper stuff, not the kind of 'romantic' stuff that people write to each other when they want a date. That kind of writing is gross enough to make the healthiest person in the world the poster child of bad health.)

I am well known of my long rants about how much I do not like certain female characters that have a tendency to be longer and slightly less interesting than the review itself. Or at least, I like to think I am famous because of them. Over time, these rants I have dubbed 'Clare Rants'. If one wants context, then one must go and find my reviews of the Morganville Vampires series. But today, I ahve invented a new thing; Tessa rants! I'll just pretend I did not just hear that groan from the audience. For about half the book Tessa did not have a back bone - however she managed to stand up straight all that time will be news to me. I found Will to be fairly entertaining - he had a rather apt sense of humour. He is the kind of person that I would be friends with, if not for the fact that almost everyone seems to hate me. I have no idea why. (At this point, envision me whistling innocently.) Jessamine seemed to have a case of Crouching Idiot, Hidden Badass.

Jem was a bit of a miss for me. I am not fond of the 'I am sensitive because I play an instrument therefore you should find me sexy' kind of person. The character, I mean worst offender (coughcoughEdwardsCullencoughdie) has, for some reason, many fangirls. I happen to think these people are crazy. (The other brand of insanity, before you point out that I myself am slightly insane. Seriously, he's DEAD. I have no problem with fangirls, but couldn't you do it over something more classy, like me? Why not try Yaoi? or X-Men?) Anyway, the point of this paragraph is not to diss' my Twihard class mates, but to say that I am Team ~~Tessa gets hit by a carriage~~ Will. Because I cannot see the appeal of Jem, I have done something random - I ... cannot remember what it was. Dammit.

Overall, The Clockwork Angel is a good book. It's not amazing; but because it is written by Cassandra Clare, all shall be forgiven. Do not ask me why, for I do not know. Like normal. Anyway, the book is compelling, the plotting is good, the characters are more or less well developed - well, apart from Tessa, who seems to scream Mary Su - and the whole book was enjoyable on a whole. So there, I think you should read The Clockwork Angel and now I am going to go and mourn my computer - for it has broken again. Siiigh. The Darklings shall help you decide to buy this book, for I am sure that you are going to enjoy it.Overall, The Clockwork Angel was a good book, with a few surprising

★★★★.5

Review: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

2010-09-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

Spoilers may be within. I have not decided yet.

Against all odds, Katniss Everdeen has survived the Hunger Games twice. But now that she's made it out of the bloody arena alive, she's still not safe. The Capitol is angry. The Capitol wants revenge. Who do they think should pay for the unrest? Katniss. And what's worse, President Snow has made it clear that no one else is safe either. Not Katniss's family, not her friends, not the people of District 12. Powerful and haunting, this thrilling final installment of Suzanne Collins's groundbreaking The Hunger Games trilogy promises to be one of the most talked about books of the year.

Like most of the population Universe, galaxy, and any other place that happens to publish this series, I am a fan of The Hunger Games. This is one of the scarce reasons why should not try and kill me with virtual pitch forks and flaming torches. Then again, this is before I write about my views of Team Gale. Then you may have a reason to want to kill me. Anyway, like the normal person I am not I squealed when I went into this book shop and saw this this sitting on the shelf, seemingly waiting for me to but it at the overpriced amount that it cost nowadays. So I took it out of the sop, and the first epic realisation hit me; this was the LAST Hunger Games book. Ever.

Mockingjay is a very long book. It borders along five hundred pages. I generally don't read books that exceed three hundred - beyond three hundred takes up both effort, time and brain power. But this particuler rule does nto apply when it is a series that I really like. So The Hunger Games, anything written by Phillip Pullman, or Cassandra Clare. Anyway, what I am trying to tell you that though Mockingjay is a book that can be called ludicrisly long, yet it is definetely worth the time and energy you devote to it. And if you are Team Gale, then it is defintely worth the hissy fit you will give at the end. (I am very sorry for being so incredibly smug. I just cannot resist.)

The plotting in this book is quite incredible. I honestly wouldn't have seen the twist coming if not for the aid of spoiler forums. (I must be one of the few people who actually likes spoilers. Insert a sad face here.) Katniss's narrative continued to get more slef hating and depressive until the end of the book, where she suddenly seemed to have cheered up just a smidge. Only a smidge, though. But that hardly mattered for I was victorious in my theories! I shall divulge now more information about such a subject unless you specifcally ask me. Now ... where was I? Ahh, yes, I was talking about how well written this book was! It was well written people! And now ... (insert an overlong and completely uncessary pause here.) I am going to talk about the characters! Like normal, then.

Katniss has never been annoying in the way that other protagonists are. I mean, she has never, not even once, obsessed over a boy in the way normal girls do. She has never - not at all - been weak and refused to kill someone who annoyed me. But sometimes ... she is ... conflicting. Sometimes she feels a bit like a monotone. Yes, that is how I should put it. And sometimes she is a bit of a fool. It's hard to describe - Katniss may be one of the most kick ass character ever to lay her mark upon YA literature and I admire her for it, but self hate is extremely dull. But otherwise, she is an extremely well - rounded character. I am a little confused as to how all of the characters remain sane throughout the books. Apart from Peeta, that is. I found Peeta's insanity to be some of the most entertaining that I ahve read about in recent memory. (Though, by recent memory, I mean in the last two months.) But Chloe, you say to me through the computer screen, you are a sucker for anything Peeta does, whether it be bake a cake or muder a random extra. You are right, reader.

I suppose now is the time where I talk about the romance. Hmmm. I think I would actually like to discuss more characters. There were so many characters. And I am not happy with some of the deaths. Suzanne Collins how could you kill F-- I mean, how could you?! I will give it to the author, any character that she did kill of - or rather, the improtant characters that she killed off - had pretty awesome deaths. I found District 13 to be near unbearable. The residents, mostly. And the setting - I hate places like that. I mean, they have no personality. (Yes, I place CAN have personality. I am not just losing my reamaining marbles. If I have any remaining, that is. I think they all went towards my comic fund.)

Now, this is probably going to make you all hate me, so I apolgise for that in advance. I am Team Peeta. And right now, I am refraining from singing the victory anthem. My own victory anthem - because I cannot sing to save my life (I shudder to think of a situation where this may occur.) sounds something like a cross between a screaming cat and a school bell. (Two of the most unpleasant things I could think off.) Anyway, I was extremely happy with the romanctic developements in this installments - not too much, not to little, not too soppy - because you all know that the thing I hate most is a vomit inducing romance. And unfortunately, Gale does this too me. So I am very glad that by the end of the book he was carelessly written out. Gale and Me shall never be meeting each other again and I am very glad off this. It preventws the book from being damaged, you see.

I think I just was not invested in Mockingjay as much I was in the other books. I have no idea why. Despite this, I still think that it was a pretty good book. I am just going to blame this on the fact that I had so much homework when I read this my head nearly exploded. And I still have homwork to do. Siiigh. Anyway, a good end to the series. The book itself was impressive plot and writing wise with, if slightly annoying, great characterization , and I apolgise to all Team Gale fans, for he did get a rather lame ending. But the ending to the actual books was not lame, I think that the light relief was very much needed. So there you are - here are my views on Mockingjay and no I am not going to engage in virtual warfare because you do not agree with my views.

★★★★.5

Review: Don't Judge a Girl by her Cover by Ally Carter

2010-09-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I feel the need to reminise. I remember the time when the comments I got were not proverbial spam messages, but lines telling me that you thought I was funny. And then I realised that the reason for the lack of comments is entirely my thought. I ahve not been commenting on your blogs, have I? I am truly sorry. I shall try and improve this habit.

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When Cammie "The Chameleon" Morgan visits her roommate Macey in Boston, she thinks she's in for an exciting end to her summer break. After all, she's there to watch Macey's father accept the nomination for vice president of the United States. But when you go to the world's best school (for spies), "exciting" and "deadly" are never far apart. Cammie and Macey soon find themselves trapped in a kidnappers' plot, with only their espionage skills to save them. As her junior year begins, Cammie can't shake the memory of what happened in Boston, and even the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women doesn't feel like the safe haven it once did. Shocking secrets and old flames seem to lurk around every one of the mansion's corners as Cammie and her friends struggle to answer the questions, Who is after Macey? And how can the Gallagher Girls keep her safe? Soon Cammie is joining Bex and Liz as Macey's private security team on the campaign trail. The girls must use their spy training at every turn as the stakes are raised, and Cammie gets closer and closer to the shocking truth.

Not many know of my love for the Gallagher Girls series, but I am willing to tell the world about this farily rational obsession of mine. Of course, I would have done so earlier if it hadn't been for my computer catching a virus. (I am happy to inform you that she is all healed up know.) I practically inhaled this book, knowing all along that it was just making more work for me. I mean, I just had to write a review. (It's getting ridoculaus! I have a list as long as Switzerland of reviews to write.) Hard work or no, today I shall be raving about Don't Judge a Girl by her Cover! And you are going to enjoy it! And then you are going to read it! Because I say so! Paaaastaa!

Apart from the random Hetalia (I know want pasta every waking moment and I shall not stop until I get it!) reference above, I do actually have something vaguely intersting to say. And that vaguely intersting is that this book has to be my favouirte in the series, so far. Unfortunately, I cannot judge the last book in the series because I am, once again broke. It is not hard to guess where the money went. (Coughcoughcoughebayonlinecomicshopscoughchokedie.) However, I have plenty enough to say on this book - and not all of it is a variation of OMG Love! I should probably find variations on that phrase, though. For future use - when I am referring to the latest issue of X-men Legacy (X-force got cancelled.), or anything ever regarding Axis Powers Hetalia.

Anyway, the amount of plot twists and originality, hilarious character moments and other things of blatant awesomeness that are tastefully weaved together to make this book are frankly astounding. Though it is not the best book I have ever read - no way, far from it - but sometimes it is nice to read a book that does not require much brain power, and one that you will know that you will enjoy, no matter what. (Haha. I just descirbed what I find so appealing about the entire Morganville Vampires series.) Gallaghers Girls is all of this, and there is one more aspect about it that appeals so much. Throughout the generations, every girl at one point in ther young lives, wanted to be a spy. I know this because I did a study. Anyway, it brings back some sort of odd childhood vibe.

After all of the random ravings, I suppose I should actually tell you about the story. And the quality of it. (I need a synonym for quality people! And the word 'twisty' is getting really rather dull and repetitive!) Cammie's narrative has to be one of the most original and hilarious to be ever written. It sticks with you - she sounds perfectly normal, yet slightly crazy and more than a little bad ass. I mean, when you combine hot boys with round house kicks and esponage shanagians, what do you get? Say it with me, readers. AWESOME. Yes, because this book is awesome and (any other contrary opinions will not be tolerated!).

Cammie is the character I consider the American equivelant to Jess Jordon. I mean, she may be able to execute a perfect flip where Jess cannot do so in any circumstance. But they are in possession of the same personalities; and I believe that they would both be great friends with each other. And now that I have that random musing on to my computer screen, I can actually talk about the characters now! LIke I have said in my previous reviews, Cammie is a breath of fresh air among the pollution that is the so called 'heroines' in current paranormal rubbish, sorry, I mean romance. (Not all of them are bad, I just had a rather ... disturbing experience with one recently.) But because my mad ravings have already been said, I am going to talk about Bex and Liz. Liz is the kind of nerd I strive to be. Bex is a bad ass. End of this conversation.

I do believe that before this moment I have confimred that I am firmly on Team Zach. I don't normally take Teams when they are required, but this instance it is not required. (Most of the other ships I support are either fairly ulikely to happen, cause me a silly amount of pain, and quite liekly to cause more than half of the fandom to hate me.) But Zach came across as such an original and entertaining character that I am pretty sure that my expression was pratcically comic whenever he had a scene. So overall, him and Cammie equals true love.

In conclusion, this book (I have already forgotten the title.) was a brilliant addition to the series, which is made out of not paper and ink, but pure shiny awesome. And this book had several Crowning Moments of Awesome. (I have also been on TV Tropes a bit too frequently.) Ally Carter seems to have a knack for creating realistic, likeable characters who have there own personalities and awesomeness in there blood. And now is the time that I threaten you in a polite manner, telling you to read this book, or my Darklings shall be visiting you. With brownie of course. They are only agressive in a polite manner, as well.

★★★★★

Review: Keys to the Repository by Melissa de la Cruz

2010-09-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

After reading a post over at the Crooked Shelf (who you should totally subscribe too, by the way.) I decided that I want to do NaNoWriMo. Am I go insane, you ask me? Tssh. I'm already insane. I am just going crazier. After I made this account, the insanity of the situation hit me. I've got to write FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS in one month. I haven't even written that much of a fan fiction I've been working on for three months. Anyway, you must keep reminding me to write throughout November. I actually already know my story, though if it will reach the cursed amount of words ... well, your guess is as good as mine.

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Lavish parties. Passionate meetings in the night. Bone-chilling murders. Midterms. The day-to-day life of Schuyler Van Alen and her Blue Bloods friends (and enemies) is never boring. But there's oh-so-much more to know about these beautiful and powerful teens. Below the streets of Manhattan, within the walls of the Repository, exists a wealth of revealing information about the vampire elite that dates back before the Mayflower. In a series of short stories, journal entries, and never-before-seen letters, New York Times bestselling author Melissa de la Cruz gives her hungry fans the keys to the Repository and an even more in-depth look into the secret world of the Blue Bloods. Won't you come inside?

I think that I have informed many of my strange and illogical obsession with the Blue Bloods, so you can imagine how pleased I am when people send me them, for free. Expecting only a honest review for them. It makes me feel special. So thank you, Atom. I just had to add that, now onto the actual review. Though I am a massive fan of Blue Bloods, I do not generally do guides. I have a firm belief that if I ever need to remember something then I will automatically remember it, because I apparently have an excellent memory when it comes to books. This plan fails ALL THE TIME. Noticing this phenomenon, I read this book.

Please note that I am a huge fan of the Blue Bloods series. But reading Keys to the Repository reminded me of the time that I was so bored that I read the dictionary. (This was one of my oh - so brilliant plans I thought up to quell my boredom that day. The others included making cookie dough, seeing how much maple syrup it would take to make me feel ill and organising my ever expanding comic book collection.) Because reading Keys to the Repository is like reading a dictionary. And do you know what is particular sad? I've read all of the books and I had forgot half of the facts that this book told me. I am very ashamed of the fact.

But fear not, constant reader! (Yes, I am making both references to Stephen King and this book. Look at my ability to multi - task so beautifully! No, of course I am not lying. In fact, right now I am posting on forums, as well as reading Hetalia and freaking out about NaNoWriMo!) For this story had a selection of short stories, sneak peaks and various other things of interest to you avid fans and or people with selective amnesia! Like me! Okay, I will stop using exclamation points now! I am not a fan of short stories. I know that you are thinking something along the lines of god, women, is there anything that does please you?! In the exasperated tones of your mind, a tone that you may/may not automatically switch while reading one of my reviews.

Because it would probably take something short of a million years to explain every single character in this book, there relationship with the other characters and how much I hate them all, I will lay off explaining, and more importantly complaining. I regret this, for I am not only contradicting myself, but ... I cannot resist. I must hate on Jack. I go by my theory that Simon killed him in City of Bones. (I am also not going to explain the context. Because it is late where I am and I am extremely lazy.) I would like to mention that my dislike for Shuyler is growing; I realised what a flat and weak character she is. Oookay, all of the moaning regarding characters shall be finished from this point.

Ha. And you honestly thought that I wouldn't give in that easily. No, I must insert my point of view on the character relationships. Suckers. In the best way possible, I might add. Anyway, if you were just to read my views on the Shuyler and Jack pairing, then you would either think that I am insane or extremely angry. (Then you would be mostly correct.) But there romance is just ... it's ... how can I phrase this ... I HATE IT AND I WANT IT TO DIE. Yes, I do believe that was that was rather eloquent. Though I am not too bothered (read as: I will get extremely angry when I read about Shuyler, Jack or Shuyler and Jack and be tempted to throw the book against the wall.) about who ends up with who, my one goal is to get Shuyler and Jack to both die horrible deaths.

At this point in the review - which know does not even resemble a review, more of a compilation of my many compliments about the series that I am too polite to include in any of my other reviews. Also, I was a massive brat in this review. Anyway, if one has a memory as bad as the one in my possession, then I would suggest this book. However, if you have an attention span the same lengh as mine, then I would not recommend this book. But I think it just depends on my personal taste.

Thanks to Atom for sending me a copy to review.

★★★

Review: Nomansland by Lesley Hauge

2010-09-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

I once again would like to tell you that I have many more reviews to write, and as you can imagine, this is rather stressful. So how do I deal with the stress, you ask in your best impression of a news reporter? Well, I watch old Justice League Cartoons and read Axis Powers Hetalia (the most awesome webcomic/manga/anime EVER!).

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Sometime in the future, a lonely, windswept island is populated solely by women. Among these women is a group of teenaged Trackers—expert equestrians and archers—whose job is to protect their shores from the enemy. The enemy, they’ve been told, is men. When these girls come upon a partially buried home from the distant past, they are fascinated by the strange objects—high-heeled shoes, teen magazines, make-up—found there. What are they to make of these mysterious things? And what does it mean for their strict society where friendship is forbidden and rules must be obeyed—at all costs?

I am a very big believer in two things; dystopian literature, because when I am in a bad mood I can simply pick one up and wait for people to die via slow and horrible methods. Though I find this very refreshing in all moods, it has more appeal when I am pissed off at the world. And before the thought of is she insane even forms inside your head the answer is only slightly! And the second enthuastic thing that I feel the need to point out in this review is that I am a feminist. Honestly, people. And therein lies the appeal of this book.

I had my eye on this book for awhile, but for lack of money and when I did get money, it went to replenishing my comic book collecition, it took me a while to get this. But when I did, it was expensive. I mean ... it was completely worth the wait. The plotting and the developement of the main characters seems to be the authors strong point; there were plenty of minor characters who were easily confused with eachother and I am pretty sure that I had a question mark hanging in the sky above my head whenever one of them was mentioned. But there shall be no more moaning from this point on - I have mentioned any flaws that I can currently recall.

The idea of a Nomansland is one of the more original concepts to be written about lately. Huh. I think that it is just the depressing amount of paranormal romances being published at the moment ... and none of them Morganville Vampires! I am suffering withdrawels! ANyway, overlarge amount of vampire novels on the market or no, you cannot deny that Nomansland is good book. The writing made my head hurt, it was so good. It was one of the genuinly good things I have read in the past weeks. Hauge certainly has a gift with writing. Oh, don't get me started on the plot. It had me grinning like the idiot that you all know that I am. And you may pass out after I make this statement - there were NO X-men references that the author made uknowingly/knowingly.

Right about know, I would usually talk about the character. Did I say talk? Well, I mean moan. Anyway, I am now going to talk about the book in general, for I have this illusion that the normal three paragraphs isn't quite enough to express my fangirly love of this book. Please expect an over adundance of caps lock and excalmation marks. Though a little slow at first, Nomansland turned out the perfect read for the mood I was in at the time I read it. It has a fantastic plot, a pretty cover and characters that didn't annoy me to much. By the end, they had all grown on me. The concept is one enjoyed (did I mention that already? Fiddlesticks, I am running out of material to yap on about!) - because who does not enjoy strong female characters that I shall be inserting my opinion where it was not wanted down below. In the next paragraph adventure and such with entrail! (Yes, I am just kidding. The only adventure you will go on with me is to my book shelf.)

Keller. I have a natural affinity for writing that name. When I first glanced the name on the pages of the book, I had a violent and to the people surrounding me, an extremely random laughing fit. It is because it is the surname of one of my favouirte characters from the comic book meduim, you see. And said favouirte character is both handless and a guy. But Keller, you see is a girl, and reminds me off the aforemnetioned favouirte characters possibly love intersest. (By possible I mean they have been dropping hints for the past SIX years. This girl, coincidently, is also a favouirte character.) Anyway, this was not the only reason why I liked Keller - she was a strong character, with a lot of back bone. Though she lacked the sense of humour, I am not suprised and shall take the effort of writing a fanfic to improve this situation.

The lack of romance in this book was a breath of fresh air among the fumes of necrophilia and various other going ons in paranormal romance (you may/may not have noticed that I have been attempting to flame it in every review I write lately. It is because I lost a bet with my friends. They give me punishments like this. I can think of plenty off fairly unplesant ones I have been put though this year.). I am definately not going to talk about the morals that come with this book, or anything deep or vaguely intersting. Though this book is both deep and interesting, I have nothing of the type to say.

But what I am actually trying to say to you is that you should read this book. The Darklings are so desperate for you to read it, they are practically howling there heads off. Hmm, maybe that is because I forgot to feed them. (They like ice cream and pancakes. Cookie Dough to be specific.) However, they shall be smiling when I come and kindly promote this book, because it is worth it. I promise you, it is a good book and you will not be dissapointed! I tell you no lies, I mean just look at the cover - does it not tell you that it is good, whisper buy me buy me you know you want too?

★★★★★

Review: Fly on the Wall by E. Lockheart

2010-09-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

Readers, I am a very bad blogger, I still have five reviews to write. At least, among them are Mockingjay and the Clockwork Angel. Both were fantastic, by the way. Also, to all of you Team Gales ... I am sorry but, bwahahaha in your faces. I apologise.

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At the Manhattan School for Art and Music, where everyone is “different” and everyone is “special,” Gretchen Yee feels ordinary. She's the kind of girl who sits alone at lunch, drawing pictures of Spider-Man, so she won't have to talk to anyone; who has a crush on Titus but won't do anything about it; who has no one to hang out with when her best (and only real) friend Katya is busy.One day, Gretchen wishes that she could be a fly on the wall in the boys' locker room - just to learn more about guys. What are they really like? What do they really talk about? Are they really cretins most of the time? Fly on the Wall is the story of how that wish comes true.

When I embarked on oen of my adevntures in the local library, I saw this book lolling on the shelf all by itself. Raking pity on it, I took it off the shelf and read the blurb - it sounded like a fun read. So after some rather complicated fiddling with the machine that lives to judge my choice in fiction, a strained conversation with the library attendant who also seems to ive to judge my choice in fiction, and a large traffic jam which may/may not also live to judge my choice in fiction, I finally got to read this book. And I had my doubts, but after I got to about page twenty they were all blown into dust. Also, because I didn't actually read more than three words of the blurb, I had no idea what the book was about.

I swallowed the book whole; it was so different from all of the mainstream books I occasionally buy of my own will and more occasionally get sent. Though the whole concept of the novel is original, the prose is what made it really stick out. In a paranormal romance, worship of supposedly hot boys tend to take up to twenty percent of the book. Though there was much of it in Fly on the Wall, Gretchen obsessed with style. The prose was very different - but you do not hear my complaining. Oh god, I think the majority of the faithful readers passed out! Well, if you want me to complain I could moan about the cover ... later.

If there was one thing that impressed me about this book, it was how the plotting effected the characters. Gretchen, for example had grown u so much by the end of the book that I'm sure that she had actually grown inches taller. I apolgize for the weakness of that joke - my computer hates me so much that it decides to randonmly delete half of my reviews sometimes. I don't suppose yelling at it and attempted murder would help my relationship with it, will it? Anyway, though not the most well written book I have read in a while, but the uniqueness of the concept, the shiny execution and the likeable (for the msot part, anyway.) characters has erased my memory of the not so good quality of writing.

Gretchen had a narrative that is bound to stay with you for a while. She was so unlike any other characters I read about so often. She has to be one of the only female comic book nerds in the YA aisle. Unlike the other female parasites in the genre, who seemingly spend there time doing nothing but worship the undead, she was actually likeable. Though I generally do not like fictional artists, I have no idea why because most of my friends are arty and I am a comic book nerd, Gretchen seems to be the exception. She was a well extablished character with a unique voice, also she reads comics. These are the reasons why you should like her ... not just because I told you so. Titus seems to be a good character, though I really don't see the appeal.

Though this book had flaws, I was willing to overlook them. I was? Well, there is this one thing ... the romance. I consider romance in novels to be the bane of my existence - I like very few of them and enjoy harping on about how much I don't enjoy reading about lovesick people. Hell, I can stand very few fictional people in love - and even when I do violence is mostly involved. And they are from comic books. Sigh. Though there wasn't much romance, there was a lot of obsessing. I am fine with this - everyone does it. But I feel like Titus and Gretchens relationship wasn't developed enough.

Overall, a wittty light read with complex characters and some good morales I suppose. Don't ask me to identify them - I just wrote that for emotional value. or shock value, whatever you want it to be. You honestly can't expect me to understand these things - heart of stone, remember? Anyway, I shall definately finding various ways of reading E. Lockhearts other books, whether it means stealing them from my friends houses at the dead of night, renting them from a library ... anything that my mind can come up with when I am doing the insanely dull task of homework or copying out reviews. Hear me world, ~~join me or die!~~ I mean, Fly on the Wall is an excellent book I do believe that you should read it.

★★★★

Review: Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy by Ally Carter

2010-08-31T05:50:00.000-07:00

There I was: Cammie the Chameleon—the Gallagher Girl who had risked the most sacred sisterhood in the history of espionage. For a boy. But I was through with lying. And sneaking around. I was going to be...myself.Despite Cammie’s best intentions to be a normal student, danger seems to follow her. Cammie and her friends must clear her name by discovering the truth about some mysterious guests...but this time the stakes for Cammie’s heart – and her beloved school – are even higher.

Gallagher Girl's books are what make me smile. Though I would not classify them as a guilty pleasure, I admit that they are not far above Morganville Vampires and Blue Bloods on the mental list of favourite books. But do not fear, faithful readers, for this is hardly a bad thing. Because I constantly rave about both of these books. (With the exception of Keys To The Repository, review coming soon. It was like reading a dictionary.) Anyway, I enjoyed the first one waaay too much and I enjoyed this installment even more. So be prepared, readers, for this review will probably involve capital letters, comic book refrences and many things that sophisticated people may dislike.

For some reason, every girl my age wanted to be a spy at one point. Some of us still do. Forgive us, we are immature. Because a small part of me still wants to be a spy, it gives these books some added bonus. Combine that with comical girl troubles, hot boys and a fairly entertaining yet not overly important love triangle, and when I googled synonyms for the word 'twisty' I found nothing but rubbish (you know what would be awesome? You could give me some synonyms in the comments!), I am going to say a twisty plot. Cammie's narrative was as entertaining as ever - I am given to think that she is somehow aquainted with Jess Jordon.

This book introduced my now favourite character in the series, Zach. Though I do object to the name, I got much entertainment out of him. And this shall be discussed below because below is where awesomeness lies. I kid you not. There shall be gold in the below paragraph. But before you get the gold, you must read this paragraph, where I talk about spy schools. In my rather cryptic head, I think of spy schools nearly as highly as Xavier Iinstitute and no way near as lowly as I think of my school - which is quite possibly the earthly gateway to hell. However, Cammie's school sounds fun. And I love the idea of a male counterpart. I have told you countless times that I have an unexplanable fetish for boarding school. Do not ask why, because I just stated that it was UNEXPLANABLE.

Cammie was as entertaining as ever - I adore her character. What really sold her to me in the first place may have been was that she was trawled through her boyfriends rubbish and stalked him in humourous ways. This is the kind of things that go on in my New X-men fanfictions, I say with more than a little embarressment. She was no different in this book, and let just as many shananagins go down, if not more. I am happy to inform you that she is in possesion of the three major components that make a person awesome: a spine, a sense of humour and her own personality. She can also execute a round house kick. And now I am onto the topic of Zach. I believe that I have mentioned before that I like people who are happily up themselves. And Zach firmly falls into this catergory, and into my list of faourite characters. (Yes, I do have one of these. And, no you cannot seee it.) He is now officially my favourite character in the series.

I think that I mentioned my dislike of Josh, Jimmie or whatever his name is in my review of the previous book. But if I didn't then, JoshJimmieWhateverHisFace can go and die in a cave. I am officially Team Zach - if that's possible. Because the aforementioned Ex was in maybe two pages of the book. And in this two pages, he had apparently gained a new girlfriend. Whatever I do actually say in this paragraph, was that the romance was an improvement from last time. Also, I would like to see Zach take Josh in a fight - don't worry, this is a normal side affect of a romance that I actually do like.

Overall, a wondeful addition to the series. And the nest one is even better! I know this because I have actually read it, I am just behind on reviews. It is not because of that amazing precognition I want for Christmas. Anyway, I am going to make you read this series - even if it kills me. Which is unlikely, for this headache seems to want the honour. Hmm. I shall get the Darklings to see to the promotion part of the deal, while I go and get a drink of water. So, what have you learned from this review? THAT YOU SHOULD READ THE GALLAGHER GIRL'S SERIES!

★★★★★

Holiday Review Part The Last: Cathy’s Ring by Jordon Weismann and Sean Stuart, illustrated by Cathy Briggs

2010-08-31T04:48:00.000-07:00

I happy danced when I realised that I had finished tryping up all of the reviews I wrote on holiday. And then I realised that I read a stack of books when I got back. Siiiiigh. Expect more reviews soon. Oh, and I am reading Mockingjay. I am Team Peeta, by the way. I will be very dissapointed if I found that you are not. And even moreso if Peeta dies.

Cathy’s Ring by Jordon Weismann and Sean Stuart, illustrated by Cathy Briggs

Following on from "Cathy's Book" and "Cathy's Key", 18-year-old Cathy wakes up one morning to discover three dead bodies slumped outside her house in San Francisco. One of the Eight Immortals, Ancestor Lu, is sending hired assassins after Cathy because she stole the mortality serum (this has the power to render even an immortal mortal). Cathy runs away from home to be pursued across the state, accompanied by broken-armed Denny, ingenious best friend Emma and techno-savvy Pete. Will Cathy escape Ancestor Lu's clutches? And can she keep 'evil twin' Jewel and boyfriend Victor safe?

I often read series out of order. Whether the reason behind this is because I am lazy, broke or just plain unconventional escapes me. Anyway, this is the case with Cathy’s Ring. I had been vaguely curious about after the series after I read about it on someone’s blog and more recently, been convinced that it has been following me. (Seriously, there are copies everywhere. Funnily enough, they are never there when I need them. Figures.) At the time, I was also pretty convinced that it was some sort of omen – telling me that I needed to read this series. Apparently Bloomsbury shared this sentiment as well. And that is why I am here, writing about the book and the random shenanigans that entailed.

Cathy’s Ring is a book that immediately gripped me, despite having not read any of the other books in the series. I instantly fell into the pace of the novel and understood what happened. I also adored the tiny doodles that were scattered among the pages. I am happy to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book – and it was not a guilty pleasure. Because, believe it or not, it was actually a good book. Oh, don’t act all surprised – I read good books all the time. Tsh. Hon – est – ley. People these days.

Immortals seem to be a little used theme in YA lit – unless said immortals are actually vampires. And, you have no idea how relieved I am to tell you about the refreshing lack of blood suckers in this book. Indeed, the immortals in this book were off Chinese mythos, I believe. I am rather dumb when it comes to Chinese mythology and therefore cannot tell you whether the inspiration for this book is telling you lies or not. Anyway, before I became distracted about portraying my stupidity about certain things, the message I wanted to convey was that it was an original idea. OH, and that it had a solid plot as well.

Cathy was a character I immediately took too, because, unlike many other ‘heroines (read as: Mary su’s.) in YA supernatural fiction, she was no Bella. And frankly, thank Cthulu for that. (Yep. I haven’t dropped that idea yet.) She had both spine and imagination, and, can you believe it, a sense of humour too. Dun Dun Daar! Victor did not annoy me too much - he was ... tolerable. You can tell that I am being incredibly restrained here – I did not even insult his face. Aren’t you all proud of me? Because I am well known for my intense dislike of love interests or just characters in general, an awesome commenter, you know who you are, (who, by the way, has there blogoversary today. Go and wish her congratulations!) claimed that this was huge compliment from me. And it probably is know that I think of it. Anyway, Emma had to be my favourite character though – the smarty pants English person. She had rather a lot of character if I do say so myself.

I guess now is the time that I choose a side. Denny or Victor? Hmmm ... I choose ... indifference. Neither made that much affect on me and neither of their interactions with Cathy made me scream and do very bad things to the book. (Uh, not that I have ever done that before! And donlt you dare go and direct me to some of my other reviews!) Which, I suppose, is a good thing? It is just something that I am not very used to – hmm, perhaps throwing the communal copy of Twilight against the wall may help? Whatever, the romance is good to go.

Cathy’s Ring has several good ideas tied together well and the authors executed the concepts very well. Sure, there were some aspects of the book that I didn’t like, but I am willing to overlook those small details because I enjoyed the book so much. Actually, I am going to blame it on being the last book in the series and I have not actually read there rest of the series. So let’s review: fabulous writing? Check. Nice storyline devoid of plot holes? Yup. Characters that I (gasp!) didn’t hate? You got it. Therefore you should read Cathy’s Ring.

Thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me a copy to review.

★ ★ ★ ★.5

The Bookish News #Whatever

2010-08-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

This post has been in the works for a ... time which length I cannot divulge to you because it will make me look seriously bad. Anyway, I got back from holiday, I mean, uh Saving The World Without Internet Connection. Before I went, I also wrote a little article for The Times Online Schoolgate. Which is awesome, because really, me writing something that got published anywhere else than this blog or fanfiction.net.

Also, a note on reviews. I am nearly done with the mega Holiday review series. Thank god, for copying out reviewings is both boring and time consuming. But then I have to write reviews for all of the books I read instead of writing said reviews. Dammit. Anyway, why don't you go and read those reviews. And scare away the deep and proverbial spam commenters by commenting. Hint Hint.

I would link to said article, but the website is behind a pay wall. And natually, I have not payed the wall. I guess I could give screen shots, but frankly I am too lazy. Story of my life. And wait ... isn'tthis supposed to be a bookish post, not The One Where Chloe Complains About Things And Tells You About Her Life?

So onto the said bookish news:

You know I am a big fan of the Drake Chronicles; they are one of the few vampire series I can actually stand nowadays. And the third book in the series is coming out on the 1st of November, this year. And now I shall supply you with some intriguing links about the book and it's facebook page. (I think it's somewhat worrying that the series has more of a social life than I do.) Also, pretty pretty cover.

http://www.bloomsbury.com/outforblood - you may read the first chapter here!

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=events&cs=2&hc#!/pages/My-Love-Lies-Bleeding/221679654275?ref=ts - learn what the book has been doing in its spare time: chronicled on facebook. Ooooh!

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Mockingjay comes out today, allegdly. However, it was a somewhat of a let down to go into EVERY BOOK SHOP IN TOWN (Yes, I am that nerdy.) just to find that none of them had it. Better luck for Saturday. But those of you who have read it, tell me was it good. And please don't let Peeta die. Please don't Peeta die. He's my favourite character and we're nearly out of ice cream. I also hope that he ends up with Katniss - though somehow I think that he will end up pushing up daisies anyway. Whatever - Susanne Collins better be prepared to be mugged if that happens. :)

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Lucy Jago will be signing copies of her book, Montacute House at Montacute soon. I am very jealous of those lucky who get to go, for it is a brilliant book, and you will have a great time in the house. Trust me, for I have been there, so I know what I am talking about, more or less. To prepare for your awesome visit that I will not be able to go on, you should go and read reviews of it. Anthing you guys write will be a million times better than what I wrote.

(Espeicially href="http://www.thebookette.co.uk/2010/05/review-montacute-house.html"The Bookette's Review!)

Because I believe in shameless self promotion, here is my review: Clicky.

Review Duo Part 6: The Van Alan Legacy and Looking For Alaska

2010-08-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

Why hello. I am bringing this to you from a very dark room. The room is dark because I cannot be bothered to open said curtains. And know onto the reviews. Sorry about the delay it took me to write this one. I had to write one review and copy out the other. And it failed to save it TWICE. Ugh. People these days. Also, 105 followers! OMG Killer Marshmellows! Thanks so much!

The Van Alan Legacy by Melissa de la Cruz

With the stunning revelation surrounding Bliss's true identity comes the growing threat of the sinister Silver Bloods. Once left to live the glamorous life in New York City, the Blue Bloods now find themselves in an epic battle for survival. Not to worry, love is still in the air for the young vampires of the Upper East Side. Or is it? Jack and Schuyler are over. Oliver's brokenhearted. And only the cunning Mimi seems to be happily engaged.

The Blue Bloods series is a vampire series that I consider to be a guitly pleasre. Whether this is an honour or completely the opposte is greek to me, but that hardly matters. People have been telling me that this installment was, in the exact words of my friends, an EPIC FAIL. Going on this evidence, I subsequently put off reading it for a very long time. A long enough time to have forgot what happened in the last book. That was an epic fail. But was the book itself an Epic fail? Yes and no.

Though the book is called The Van Alan Legacy, there was a dissapointing lack of um, the aforemetioned legacy. That is one of the faily aspects. The othrs include Shuyler/Jack teasings, Shuyler/Jack actually happenings and Mimi's pony hair boots. (Seriously. They were zebra print. That is, like, tacky cubed.) However, there are definately positive aspects of this book - all of which shall be discussed in the paragraph below.

Some of the things that this book does have going for it are a solid plot, writing and lots of positive character development. Oh, and there is a quote from my favouirte Evanescence song in the front ... Moving on. Allow me to eloborate on some of the positive details I mentioned previously. The book was separated into three point of view. Shuyler (For the last time - hoe THE HELL do you pronounce such a name? It is, like, impossible.), Mimi and Bliss. Shuylers chapters were the least intersting, in my opinion. And not so valid reasons shall be, as ever, given in the below parapgrah.

Shuyler is rapidly becoming more and more annoying as time wares on. In fact, she is quickly approaching Mary Su statues - which is eyebrows twitching, angru chibi face. ballistic annoying. (In english, I believe that means very.) She is weak and while on her extended holiday she see,s to have lost her personality. Unfrotunately for us, you cannot just call up the airport and see if they have it. I have made my dislike for the Force twins well known. However, in this installment I did rather like Mimi. Her bitchiness seems to have stayed in the jungle with the mosquietoes and the heels of her hideous boots. But I stall hate Jack and it shall remain that way into he dies - he is a twit, in all meaning of the word. A true waste of space.

I may be the only one, but I rather like Bliss. She has ten times the amount of character that Jack or Shuyler has. Whether this statement has been infulenced by the gfact that I cannote remeber a thing that happened in the last book, I don't know. And I was also very surprised when I learned that Dylan died in Bliss's arms. (SPOLIER!). Being one of the rather less annoying fictional couples around, I stated that this is a damn shame. Good characters always get flushed down loo, I say bitterly. Please note that if this paragraph does not make sense it is because it was late when I wrote this.

If there is one thing that irks me to a point of attempting to hurt the book (an act, which I am sincerely sorry to say that I have done.) is a romance that I don't like. And turst me, there are pleeenty of examples. If I were to list them, then I would still be here in my early thirties. Instead, I am going to give an example from a comic. I'll just pretend that I didn't hear you groan. Before things got dark and grim, there were two people. My favouirte character and my ... not so favourite character. Unfortunately for me, they were the series main couple. Let us just say that every month for about 18 months, my head hurt a lot from excessive banging against hard sufaces. Jack and Shuyler are like that. A painful, painful pairing. I wouldn't be surprised if I had brain damage by now.

Unlike many othes, I was not disspointed with this installment. As it is one of my favourite guilty pleasure series, it is pretty much saves it from be judged too harshly. I will definately be reading the rest of the series - as long as they rename the next book. Because after I have read Crescendo and Torment, I am taking a vow against angel books. How long it will last, though ... well, let us just say that yoru guess is as good as mine. Oh, I also don't like the cover.

★★★★

Looking For Alaska by John Green

First drink, first prank, first friend, first girl, last words! A poignant and moving crossover novel about making friends and growing up from American author, John Green. Miles Halter is fascinated by famous last words -- and tired of his safe, boring and rather lonely life at home. He leaves for boarding school filled with cautious optimism, to seek what the dying poet Francois Rabelais called the "Great Perhaps." Much awaits Miles at Culver Creek, including Alaska Young. Clever, funny, screwed-up, and dead sexy, Alaska will pull Miles into her labyrinth and catapult him into the Great Perhaps. Looking for Alaska brilliantly chronicles the indelible impact one life can have on another.

Though I have read this book before, my selective memory selected to forget it. I am not sure why, because the one thing I do remember is loving it rather a lot. And I still have no reason why, because Looking For Alaska was one of the most impressive debuts I have ever read. It is amazing. And before I say anything else, I am going to tell you to get the book, read it and then worship it. (Worship does not mean sacrificing virgins to archaic gods in its name, my friends.)

And now onto the important details that I am sure that you don’t want to hear! If there is one thing that John Green excels at, it’s characterization. He managed to make the characters unique, realistic and entertaining at the same time. However, I am not saying that he isn’t good at anything else – the plot was like a stair case. Solid and really rather twisty. Before reading this, I had long since lost faith in first person narrative coming from teenage boys. But with this ... I was blown away. (No, not literally.)

If you have not grasped the fact that this book has instantly become one of my favourite books, then you may not be completely here. Anyway, you can tell that I have been completely impressed by this – and therefore I have nothing negative to say about it. Even the romance. (SHOCK HORROR.) You are shocked, and so am I. And the point of this paragraph is ... unknown and unable to calculate.

And now I have the joy of talking about characters. Like I said – I did not hate any of them. You should all be proud of me. This must be the first time since ... I think it is the first time. Anyway, Pudge was a character that started off with a personality, and gained more and more character as the book went on. I believe that by the end of the book, he really needed a hug. The Colonel provided plenty of entertainment as the plot thickened. He was also a completely solid character. Now onto Alaska. I have faith in John Green to create female characters that I actually like. This time he did that, and surpassed my expectations entirely. Alaska has to be one of the most original characters I have read about in a very long time. Thumbs up from me.

This will also surprise you – I did not hate the romance. I am pretty sure some will have passed out on the floor from shock at this revelation. No, I will not pay for hospital bills. Anyway, I knew Alaska/Pudge was going to happen from the beginning. Though Lana or whatever he name was, added interesting complications to it. When not too complicated or dramatic, I do quite enjoy love triangles. Only when they are humorous though. I’m not ssure whether this example counts, though.

It seems I am going to have to collect my dear darkling army from there overlong holiday, for you need to read this book and they need to be payed. So when you go to a book shop tomorrow to get your copy of Mockingjay, don’t forget to pick up a copy of Looking For Alaska too. Not only because the cover makes you look deep when you pay for it, it is a good book. Truly, says the darkling’s and I.

★★★★★

Holiday Review Duo Part 5: Going Too Far and Girls, Guitly but Somehow Glorious

2010-08-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

Two today. Enjoy. Sorry about the lateness of this post. Let me tell you how dull it is copying out reviews all day long ...

Girls, Guilty but Somehow Glorious by Sue Limb.

Zoe and Chloe. Chloe and Zoe. The two are inseparable. Even though they often drive each other crazy they are best of friends. And at the moment they have an immediate problem. Who are they going to persuade to take them to the Earthquake Ball - the ball of the year? Being Zoe and Chloe they have left this important task till one week before the ball. Time is running out. And being Zoe and Chloe they don't resort to run of the mill measures ...This is the perfect next read for all those avid fans of Sue Limb's Girl, 15 series. Set at the same school, with Jess and Flora even making cameo appearances, fans will sink with cries of glee into the familiar humour and the toe-curlingly embarrassing crises that Sue Limb effortlessly and convincingly creates for her characters. The first in a series of three books featuring Zoe and Chloe

If you have been faithful to this blog, then you will know that I love Sue Limb books nearly as much as I love myself. I believe that this author should be worshipped, for she has mastered writing hialrioous books about the teenage mind that I actually enjoy. Most of you shall knwo that I do not enjoy books about teenagers daily ordeals, so it is rather impressive when I do actually like one. And that is why Sue Limb is a god. A god with a good sense of humour. Or one that is rather insane - not that that is a bad thing. Both have there perks.

To postpone my raving about the authors awesomeness, I shall talk about the book. I do not think that I am destined to be able to read any of Sue Limbs books in series order. I read All of the Jess Jordon books in a compltely random order. I think this is the second book in the series. Oh well. I am not actually sure what the point of this paragraph is. Like I've said millions of times, I have no little to no idea why I do anything.

Despite it being the second book in the series, I felt as if I already knew the characters. The reason for this is yet again unknown to both you and me. Also, the characters from Girl, 15 made constant cameos! Wait, Eureka moment! (I would rather not explain that. For both your sake and mine.) I now know why Zoe and Chloe's small fictional world felt so familair: they are all mad there. Well, most of them ... anyway.I like to think that the author of these books creates a plot by putting her characters into harsh, yet hugely comical situations. If this is what she does, then she certainly does it extremely well, for there are many twisty plots and subplots to be aware off.

Zoe was a completely relatable character, she had both important character traits, spine and the good ol' sense of humour. And a very unfortunate amount of bad luck.I am not going to give you examples, for it would simply be a waste of space. I find it increasingly amusing how characters that have the same name as I do are completely different to me. And that most of them are red heads. I am not a red head. Chloe was a character who annoyed me rather a lot. I am not going to give reasons, because if I did then we would still be here next christmas. Tamsin also annoyed me at first. I honestly thought she was a selfish twit. But then she started to grow on me. I probably need to wrok on holding a grudge. Beast and Donut were what I call sleazy gits.

I state that when the going gets tough, the tough go to your nearest source of books, whether it be a book shop, library or you best friend or worst enemies house and read this book. The weal will just give up and watch twilight. Read this book I tell you, it will save your life.(Please note that reading this book won't really save your life. That is just me telling you to read this book in my funny little way. And there is also the fact that I was half asleep when I wrote this. Forgive me, for I am telling you lies, but you really should read this book.)

★★★★

Going Too Far by Jennifer Echols

High school senior Meg revels in being a rebel. She sports choppy blue hair, and tight t-shirts, cuts class, and is often found where she's not supposed to be. Like hanging out on a railroad-tracks-covered bridge that's off-limits to trespassers. When she and her friends are busted for trespassing and underage drinking, she's sentenced to spend her spring break riding along with a rookie police officer on his nightshift patrol. Compounding the punishment is the fact that the cop, John After, is only two years older than Meg, and a former classmate to boot. He thinks he has Meg's number and has nothing but contempt for her childish rebellion. Meg in turn has nothing but contempt for Officer After's straight-laced, by-the-book attitude. But Meg has her reasons for lashing out, and John has his reasons for his need for law and order. And they're about to discover that they have a lot more in common than either one of them could have dreamed...

As a rule, the only romance novel I read are written by Sarah Dessen. Romantic comedies, however, are a different story - they stay on my TV screen, not on my book case. (Do not ask why. It is a mystery, okay?!) Anyway, you can imagine that I also have no idea why I even own this, let alone have actually read it. (Before you ask me to provide reasons, I am going to tell you that it is one of the many mysteries of the universe. 'Kay?)

Like I have said, the reason behind my buying of this is completely blank, but when I was buying this I distictly remmeber handing over the money for the book and thinking Internet don't fail me now. And for the most part it didn't. Going Too Far was a pretty good book; I just do not see what all of the fuss is about. (Before you got what fuss and try to deny that you have not fangirled over htis book, I have my counter attack ready. I would like to direct you to your blogs, thank you very much.)

Sure, it was gripping and had unique characters with depth. But I guess you ahve to be the kind of person who actually likes seeing people happy together (you), not the kind of person who, instead of seeing people happy together, enjoys people being idiots to each other and supports very few fictional couples. (Me.) And the big question remains unanswered; why the hell did I read this book? At the moment, your guess is as good as mine. Probably better, because my guess is that the greek gods have been messing with me.

No no, wait. The Greek Gods ahve not been messing with me, for I ahve figured out what the aforemtnioned missing piece was. The characters were all so consumed in there dramatric lives and muddled up romances that none of them even remmebered the part where they should ahve been joking around with each other.Now that I have that sorted, I shall now have a one sided conversation with the computer about the book like the immature valley girl I feel like being today.

Both protagonists were really rather silly, and not in the funny/immature way that I am demanding. And they both have sad and complicated back stories. So the unknowing public believe that they are perfetc for each other. Uh, hope. Hope they are perfect for each other. They are complete opposties. The girl is a blue haired rebel and the guy is a (mostly) straight laced police man. ... Surely, if this is so great, then why o they yell at each other and break up ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME?

There is the romance bit down. I think I shall write about quality. The quality of this review, for example, is crap. The quality of the writing is realistic. The story had twist revealed through tidbits of information throughout the book. The author has her characters pinned, pegged and squewered. Character developement and realims seem to be this authors strong point. Which is a good thing, for the story strongly realies on the charactes to tell it.

Speaking of characters, Meg was a unique one, with veyr much of a voice. It did stick with me - for about two days. After that It kind of slipped my mind ... (Granted, lots of thing slipped my mind when I was reunited with my e-mails.) Johns bravado really began to irk me after a while. I have decided that I do not like him. I prefer love interest to be jerks with a heart of gold, ax crazy or crouching morons hidden badasses (I apoligise. I stole all of those from TVTropes). Because he fell into none of these catergories, I have to label him wiht dislike.

But book, thou shall be forgiven for this, because thou is such an enjoyable read. The content is too deep to be classified as fluff or smut, so the genre shall officially be called a fish. And before you clal the police, I would like to tell you that I am not insane. ANyway, I was going to say, do not worry, this is a very good thing. (It's like X-force getting puppies and ranibow variant covers! The madness has returned!)

In the end. Going Too Far is definately worth checking out. It has an original concept that has been well - executed with snappy writing and likeable characters. Well, for the msot part. But if there is one thing that needs to be done about it ... the cover gives small children nightmares. It's so ... ugh. yes, ugh. That is the only word that descirbes it. I am now going to wallow in my choice of words. Hasta.

★★★★